No news to report

Today was good. I found the brighter side and ignored the other stuff. I got a lot of chores done. That's it. There is no news to report today. Check back tomorrow :)

That kicked my butt!

This entire day really did kick my butt and beat me down.

Talk about feeling defeated! I know I let myself feel that way and I am in charge of my own feelings...blah...blah,,,blah. But today everything just made me feel like I couldn't do it right. There were a lot of tres harsh moments that really wrecked my mellow man.

I am fairly certain that my only redeeming moment was that I actually planned and started dinner (this is something I rarely do) but even that my husband did most of it.(for which I will be grateful tomorrow but at that moment it added to my self worthlessness)

So what did I do for myself today? I threw a pity party. Indulged in my base feelings of utter crappiness.

Lest you feel sorry for me or the need to shake sense into me, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Tomorrow is going to be better, Tomorrow I will be able to find the brighter side of life again. Those that seek to beat me down beware! My optimism just might be catching.

Another full day of me time.

Another glorious day of working on projects while my children mostly tended to themselves and my husband picked up all my slack, cooking meals etc... I feel productive and content. You just gotta love all my boys and the way they rally for me sometimes, it's outstanding :)

I am in love with a powertool.

I am late writing this and it's all my electric sanders fault.

Seriously. I got "new to me" furniture that I need to refinish. Yesterday I spent almost the entire day sanding the hutch. I didn't finish until almost midnight with my first coat of stain.

It was a magical day full of wonder.

Again, seriously.

All day I was so happy I had found my sander, as it was missing during my last few projects.

I just couldnt imagine hand sanding all that furniture, the task would be daunting.

This is how I spent the day fulfilling my basest crafty urges and falling in love with my sander.

My darling husband.

Yesterday he was like a super hero, cooking and helping ease tensions between everyone.
Then, he goes thru the sale papers and makes the list of what we need to get at black friday sales.
Next, he offers to stay home and get up early with the boys while I shop all night.
After I get home at 7:30 in the morning he lets me take a nap.
Then, he makes lunch and snacks (and cleans them up) for everyone and puts on a movie so I can continue to rest while still squeezing in family time.
To round the day off he wrestles with our boys til they are all out of energy which leads to an easy quiet bedtime at 6:45pm.

Today was all about me thanks to my darling husband. He's the bees knees!

p.s. This was my first official all out black friday shopping extravaganza. It was frightening and eye opening. I saved over $400 and got great gifts and much needed household items. I may never do it again :)

Today is not about me.

Today I didn't take time for me, that is not something that is needed on Thanksgiving.

Today we got up early and went to the Thanksgiving day sale to buy a new board game. We came home and had delicious pumpkin muffins for breakfast. We got a new(to us) dining table, chairs and hutch delivered. We went to the grocery store to buy some of our favorite snacks for lunch. We headed to Kihei with my cousin, my sister and our dog and spent the next 8 hours at the in-laws. We watched the Macy's day parade, we swam. we played potato heads and we sort of built the new board game. Grandpa and Daddy did all the cooking and we sat down to a lovely dinner. My boys all prayed before dinner and said what they were thankful for. After dinner there was more swimming, reminiscing of our beloved aunt who recently passed, pumpkin pie and then back home. Everyone went straight to bed and the house is quiet.

Picturesque right?

Below you will find a behind the scenes peak at one of the moments I was not thankful for today. This was not the only one...but the one thing I can do for myself is choose not to dwell on them.

When we got home for the store it was the younger twins turn to take the dog to the bathroom. He insisted he had done it last and it was the older twins turn. We all agreed that was not true. He got himself worked into a huge crying fussing whiny frenzy over this minor detail and no matter what we said to explain he insisted we were liars.. He refused to calm down.

The other two brothers quietly watched the commotion and ate their muffins. I told him he couldn't eat the muffins until he calmed down. After more than half an hour of his moaning madness daddy was fed up. He put him in a warm shower to calm  him down and try to get past the hysterics. the younger twin yelled at us from the shower that he was going to die.

We went outside to get the table delivery and from the bathroom window could hear his little voice sobbing, "Can anybody hear me? Is anyone there? I am going to die if I don't get to eat and drink. I haven't had anything to eat and drink all day. I am going to die!" When we finished moving furniture we told him he could be done with the shower. He was allowed to eat and drink and he did eventually calm down.

Today was a good day.

Today there were no major stresses.

Today I got everything I wanted to done at work in the time I allotted to get it done.

Today I was a good friend to two friends that have been very good to me.

Today I remembered to pray first.

Today I finished a really good book.

Today I spent quality time with my kids.

Today I baked.

Today was a really good day. Tonight has been a different story but I will remain thankful for good times I have been blessed with today.

so fancy!

today i am writing my blog from my cell phone, things are getting seriously fancy around here a yesterday i spent a good hour just playing a game on my phone while watchiing my sons not play with a friend that had come over. things might have gone better for their playdate if i had been paying more attention but more likely it was from staying up til almost ten pm, but i do have twinges of guilt. i am ten things behind on my to do list but i also went to bed early, i wasn,t trying to, i just sat down on my bed and it happened. so yeah, i have a smartphone now that i am learning to use and things are getting fancy up in here as i learn how to use it.

It's not happening today.

If "me time" happens today than I have failed.

I thought I would get some at work but I walked into a whirlwind of phone calls and emails and meetings that didn't stop til I walked out.

Home brought homework with the twins, laundry, doggy duty and getting out the new lego set to start building. All this was interrupted by a very stressful search for a missing fedex delivery.

Now it's time for the new, more advanced, (can you tell I am proud) Aikido class for the twins (our only organized activity) then dinner in Kihei where we will finally see daddy and the little one and then we will end the day with teaching the grandparents how to use their new phones. The goal is to be home before it is time to wake up again and then it's finish the laundry, learn how to use my new phone and an upstairs that needs some serious cleaning.

Now that I wrote that all out, I take it back.

I am blessed to have the opportunities that have arisen today to spend time with my family and I was a rockstar (a friend said so twice!) dealing with the whirlwind at work. While my boys are in Aikido I am going to sit in the car and read my Nook and possibly eat candy and drink ice cold ice water.

Aaaaaaaahhhhh, life is still sooooooooooo good :)

Jocularity!!

My boys voted for a family dinner at McDonalds tonight. I complied and off we went. What ensued was pure jocularity (for some reason I cannot say this word without thinking it in my head like an old granny is chanting it over and over)

My husband remarked how our boys know what we are spelling now. Then we began to spell whole sentences and that's when things got jocular. Our boys(including the 4 yr old) tried their best to keep up but were guessing the weirdest words for what we were spelling. Then they tried to spell back at us. Then we decided we would go thru the whole dinner spelling everything and it was frustrating, enjoyable, imaginative and a learning experience. I think we may have to make this a weekly dinner game!

This is what I did for myself because it the moment I enjoyed most today and the only other thing I ma doing for myself is going ot get yucky chores done right now.

(in the granny voice) Jocularity! Jocularity! Jocularity!

Baking :)

It's time!!! I may wait til after Thanksgiving to decorate for christmas but the baking starts now :)
I can't stop smiling as my thoughts drift to a warm kitchen and comforting smells. I really like to bake.

This year it takes on an especially special place in my heart because two of my sons are in love with baking. They put on their aprons and chef hats get out their ingredients and go to town. One of them can read now and all he wants for Christmas is baking recipe books! My third son, the oldest, is a mad scientist and while we bake he comes up with wild and crazy kitchen ideas for us to try. He lives in a world where everything should be tried differently, never by the rules or following the status quo.

I am getting giddy just imagining the mommy moments I am going to have over the next month!!

OOPS!

I knew it would happen sometime, but hoped not this soon. I forgot to post yesterday :(
I was going to post about Bunco so I wanted to wait til after it happened. But then I was tired and my head hurt so remembering to blog was not something that happened.

Anyways, I went to Bunco last night!! This is the one, once a month, thing that I schedule to do for myself. 12 ladies hanging out, eating food and playing a dice game with zero skill. It's a nice way to unwind. I always enjoy myself (well except for this one time) but I have to drag myself there. The day of, I generally am tired, busy, preoccupied, grumpy or something and it's a minor miracle that I actually make it out of my house and to whichever friend is hosting it. It shouldn't be this hard, I should want to do things for myself and go places.

Oh well, self inspection complete. I had a lot of fun and took many mental pictures of my friends lovely house. I won a new beverage dispenser (mine both got broken last month) and got my friend to give me part of her prize (an apron which I desperately needed). Score right? Oh yeah, and apparently I have a distinctive roll so one whole table of ladies mocked it to get in their final round of the night :) Seriously (in a valley girl tone)

I wore leggings!

Think of me what you will but that is what I did for myself today.

For me to wear leggings is a big deal! I don't think I have since I was 5 or 6 years old. I openly mock those that do. Every time I go clothes shopping with my sister I tease her mercilessly about her affection towards leggings.

That being said, I own a pair. I bought them for a costume that didn't work out. When I got up this morning my clothing needs consisted of the requirements that I be able to go to work in them, run errands in them and nap in them comfortably. This ruled out the majority of my wardrobe. I saw the leggings and on they went with a tunic dress. All day I felt sort of funky cool and I could easily nap in it (and I did!) which can't generally be said for dresses (risk of exposure is a real issue).

So, I officially apologize for my mocking and also officially embrace the leggings wearing community. I see where you're coming from now.

I am a gleek.

Yep, that's what I did for myself today. I let my sons play video games, pulled up the laptop and immersed myself in the world of Glee. This show is like a guilty pleasure, I shouldn't like it but I really do.

In my opinion (you are entitled to yours) it sends bad messages to our nations youth regarding, sterotypes, bullying, high school drama, sexual conduct and the list goes on. I get that it's a whacked out over the top version of what our schools are supposedly really like, but still, it's not good.

It also has a lousy, predictable story line that a fifth grader could write (well they would have to be a twisted fifth grader). And yet, I like it. It's mostly for the music, I am a sucker for a musical in almost any form. I believe my life is a musical and constantly pick out the song to describe the moment in my head. However, a singer I am not so you all get spared from my musical mischief.

I said mostly for the music, it's a little because I like shaking my head at the antics on this show, laughing at the inappropriateness of it all and judging all the characters espite the fact that they aren't real.

And now you know a little more about me than you probably ever needed to, oh well.

I tried to read, it didn't work out.

Well, I got home today and thought I better do something for myself now, this evening is packed!

I saw the Costco Connections magazine on the table, picked it up and squirreled myself away in the master bath to read it. My kids were constant interrrupters and barge-on-inners for the first few pages so I sighed and brought it out to the dining room. I made sure they were all busy and content doing homework, eating candy etc.. and tried again. There were less interruptions, and I tried really hard to ignore them, but that just made the interruptions more intrusive. As one of my sons stuck his face between mine and the magazine, I gave up. It was a 30 page magazine, half of which were ads and I just couldn't do it. Reading to myself was not going to work out at this particular moment in my day.

This is one of the many reasons I struggle to carve out "me time", my children do not want to live in a world where that could possibly exist. Also, sometimes I am really lazy. Just sayin'.

I stayed home

Well, my son was puking again last night. I knew he would have to stay home from school today, there is this rule of thumb that you need to be puke free for 24hrs before you are around other people. This is a fact I learned solely because I have children. I kind of wish I didn't know this fact. But, that is beside the point. The point is, one of my roommates offered to watch my son, puking and all. My husband could have taken a sick day if I had asked him to. He could have come to work with me and slept in my office. But I denied all these options and stayed home.

I am going on a week and a half of being slightly under the weather. It's exhausting but I push through because I have this illusion that I can do it all. So, it sounds terrible, but I was a little bit happy when he started puking last night. I knew instantly that I would call in sick and I would lay around and take care of him while also taking care of myself today. I can now officially report that I am slightly less exhausted, so I think staying home counts as what I did for myself today.

P.S. My son also appears to be doing better, here's hoping for a puke free night!

Party!

Today I am going to a baby shower **insert squeals of excitement here**

2 hours of me, my friends and a celebration of new life. No stress just a little time to sit and breathe. Also, I rekindled Mod Ohana (my blanket business that is on a bit of a hiatus) and made a blanket set and diaper cake. I love creating and going through all my fabric and crafty stuff really got me excited to do more projects.

Now if I could just stop feeling sick things would be golden.

"Mommy, I am puking."

That was the sweet little voice with the sad news that woke me up at 1:30am this morning.

As is the case with most times my family gets sick, I was forced to change all my plans and switch my focus. I did more for myself and my family today than I sometimes do in a week. We had a lot of bonding time, I got a lot of chores done, we worked on my sons school work, we had great talks, I did a sewing project and so much more. We did deal with a lot of puke and we did miss a very good friends birthday party but today was still a pretty good day.

For myself, I took a short nap (it would have been longer but my oldest son dropped a table on my head). But todays time was family time and it felt really good (despite us all feeling soooo bad)

Do you like to color?

I do.
By myself.
Not with my kids.

I have found that coloring can be very relaxing in that it helps quiet and focus my mind.

So, after a long day, still feeling a little under the weather and in a moment where I felt very frustrated, I grabbed my geometric designs coloring book and my sparkly gel pens and sat down at the dining room table to color. I only colored for about 15 minutes but it was exactly what I needed to get over myself that day and refocus on everything else. It ended up being a beautiful moment for me. I know it is sort of cheating because it happened last night but it's my blog and I will type what I want to :) So that's how I found time for B.

I fooled my children

I woke up today and announced to one and all that we were going to the fabric stores today! I then asked if I should just go to the expensive one since they always have the best materials (and it's at the mall so way better chance of better behavior from certain young children). My husband said maybe I should check the other one first (in like this cute sweet yet slightly patronizing way). So we made a goal to be out of the house by 9am and off we went.

We spent 4 hours fabric shopping. This is not a joke but the sad fact of how it works when you go with 3 small boys. First let me say that I was so proud of their behavior. Next let me say the were only well behaved because I completely fooled them. At the first store (the affordable one) I threatened them that they had to behave not like 4 and 6 year olds but adults and that if they didn't we would not go to the mall. Mission one accomplished.

At the mall I started off by letting them play at the play area and then further buttered them up by buying them lunch at their favorite place, Pretzelmaker. Now, as they were finishing their banana chocolate dessert pretzel I casually mentioned that we would just run over to the fabric store for a second. Mission two accomplished.

Finally, we made it out of the mall and I announced we had one last stop to make at Walmart. They all had quarters so they cheered thinking they would get bubblegum. We went and I let them look through the toy section (telling them to put everything they asked for on their christmas list) and then said, "Oh yeah, and let's run over to the craft section for one thing." We made it out of the store before anyone remembered they wanted bubblegum. Mission three accomplished.

So today I had a fairly pleasant shopping experience (albeit long) and I got fabric for three new projects!! Fooling my children into thinking they were having this fun outing day for them was a fabulous bonus :) That's what I did for myself today.

Sometimes you have to take a stand

When it comes to work I made a decision when I first started to take a stand and on the days I don't work I do not check my work email or voicemail. I do sometimes bring work home and I often go to work meetings and events outside of work time but I had to draw the line somewhere.

Yesterday this plan backfired. Because I don't deal with work stuff on days I am off I didn't get the message that a meeting was cancelled. I sat in my pajamas bemoaning my sick self most of the day. I went to the airport early in the morning to pick up a package for the meeting. I worked on presentations I needed to give for about an hour, and I got a babysitter to take my kids to Aikido, watch them etc... Had the babysitter drop me off and then discovered there was no meeting. Then I waited half an hour for the babysitter to pick me back up and went back home and crawled back into my bed.

The yuckiness of yesterday had me seriously doubting if I made the right decision when I chose to seperate these parts of my life. After much thought I am renewing my vow to take a stand and keep my work at work, no checking emails or voicemails at home, no exceptions.

This is what I am doing for myself today.

Me time is not always thrilling...

So today, and the last four days, I have been slightly under the weather. Not enough to call in the medics but not so little that I don't whine about it to all who will listen, except when I forget that I don't feel good.

Yeah, it's that kind of thing.

Now with that beautiful lead in I can tell you, minus the fanfare, that today I sat for almost 3 hours and watched episodes of The Office Season 3. That is what I did for myself, like I said, it won't always be thrilling. I really don't feel a lot better and now I really need to get up and do some chores before my crazy afternoon of scheduled wackiness begins.

So, ummmm.....yeah. That just happened.

What is time for B?

Well, today Time for B was creating this blog.

It is slightly formidable when you google "starting a blog." As I looked through other peoples and pondered what I liked about the few I follow I decided I needed a focus. I get most of my venting done to a select group of friends on facebook so what part of my life should I choose to share with the world?

I chose...drumroll please...myself!

Friends, family and not so nice people are regularly telling me that I should be doing more for me. In a 24hr time period I don't know how to fit that in. Really, I am lucky to get a 10 minute shower and that pretty much sums up the time I take for myself most days. Before you feel sorry for me/want to shake some sense into me, let me explain. I choose to focus on my family, my job, my chores, my community, my church, my pets, pretty much anything other than me... I like it that way, it makes me feel noble. It's everyone else who tells me it should change. So I am viewing this blog as a challenge to do something for myself everyday and blog about it. We'll see if I find merit in it(probably) and if I actually follow through with it (I don't have a good track record).

It's go big or go home time so I am hereby pledging to keep this blog alive and active for at least one year. What have I gotten myself into?