Thursday, January 5, 2017

The questioner

I found this in my blog draft folder and decided to finish it off and send it out to cyber world. My little darling is done with this phase now, but it seems worth noting for posterity.

I'm sitting in my car waiting for another kid to finish another activity.

As I sit and type this I praise the Lord and rejoice that my sweet Larry came along and is talking to our sweet baby girl because she NEVER STOPS TALKING.

I love her and I'm so happy she found her voice, but why does she have to ask WHY?? 1,000 times a day?!

Baby: Where are we going?
Me: To Costco.
Baby: Why?
Me: To buy food.
Baby: Why we need food?
Me: So we don't starve.
Baby: Why we don't want to starve?
Me: Because we would die.
Baby: Like the cat? She was a girl cat and she died and now we have a boy cat. You call him Oh Maui and I call him BB-8.
Me: The cat didn't die from starving.
Baby: What the cat died from?
Me: I don't know.
Baby: Why you don't know?
Me: Because I'm not God.
Baby: Why you not God?
Me: Because I'm you're mom.
Baby: Why?
Me: Why not?

This goes on for hours every day. 

If it's not why, her other 2 favorite talking points are what we eat for meals and grocery lists.

She likes to pretend call our family to ask them what they're eating and to make up things that she's eating that I would never let her have.

**Sample Conversation**
HI daddy, what you doin?
What you eat for breakfast?
Eggs or apples daddy, which one?
Which one?!
Why you not answer me?!?!
Well, I had donuts and coffee and sprinkles.
Bye daddy, call me after lunch.

Please keep in mind that these are pretend conversations with herself. She is getting mad at herself for not answering.

Finally, her lists. She grabs something to write with and proceeds to make lists and read them to you.

Baby: You want to go to Target? I going to Target. I'll bring the money. We'll get bananas, bandaids, dresses, stickers, red cheese, pancakes, milk, baby milk and beer. What you need mommy?
Me: I think we need bread, you could put that on the list.
Baby: No one eats bread. Need anything else?
Me: No.
Baby: K, bye!

She then attempts to leave our house on our own and kicks and screams when I point out that her shopping needs to be pretend. She also brings her scribbled drawing lists to the store when we go and gets frustrated when I can't immediately read the list of made up items written in scribbles and loops of nothing.

I don't think you can win with toddlers.

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

This me has been 35 years in the making.

In honor of my upcoming day where I become a year older, I am going to list for you the things that make me a grown up. It's taken a lot to get me where I am today (cliche much?)

1. I get excited about going to the home improvement store

2. I've kept the same favorite color for more than a year

3. Developed a "look", but don't ask me to define it

4. Organized my home, and reorganized, and reorganized

5. Have kids old enough to talk back

6. Need to wear sunscreen daily

7. Own control top everything

8. Think elastic waistband is a phrase sent from heaven

9. Developed new tastes, I eat things like spaghetti sauce and tacos now

10.Get back aches

11. Say things my parents used to say

12. Have a mortgage

13. Google things like meal planners and angry 7 yr olds

14. Like to be in bed by 10pm. Who am I kidding? Make that 8pm.

15. Can no longer pull off quirky or cute when wearing a superhero bandaid

16. Purchased my own furniture

17. Make my own doctor appointments, but really wish someone else would do it for me

18. Plan vacations, meticulously, with coupons

19. Rock out to folk music

20. Get called ma'am or auntie

21. Have to google words like Bae to see what they mean

22. Know Bae is an outdated "what kids are saying" reference but not cool enough to know anything newer

23. Read parent reviews before going to the movies

24. Get excited about using coupons

25. Feel a need to do chores before fun stuff, get frustrated with the inner battle, and take a nap instead

26. Tell my kids stories of "when I was younger..."

27. Where sunglasses because I need to and not because they look cool (but I still look cool)

28. Know when trash pickup days are

29. Have serious misgivings about jumping on a trampoline

30. Know where everything is located at the drugstore without needing to look at the signs

31. Get excited when it's quiet in my house

32. Own "practical shoes"

33. Use phrases like "me time"

34. Going to jail instead of time out if I break the rules (but I don't break rules)

35. Think about other people before myself, at least the majority of the time

Lists are fun :)  I think next years will be on all the reasons I'm still young!