tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79425533852799270982024-02-20T12:34:42.885-08:00Time for BThis is my time and my space to share me. Of course what makes me is my family, friends, job, religion, thoughts, concerns, pets and so much more. So, be prepared for a little bit of everything that is B on here and try not to take it too seriously.
Unless I say it's serious.Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18331396042178335800noreply@blogger.comBlogger261125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7942553385279927098.post-80213569810274334102022-02-08T20:31:00.001-08:002022-02-08T20:31:53.707-08:00I did a thingI did a thing and now I am emboldened.<div><br></div><div>I really like that sentence. I really like the word emboldened.</div><div><br></div><div>Here's the thing. The high school my kids attend was short a writer for an event they hold every year called the 24 hour play project. They asked me (because of one of my fun fact Friday posts where I lament that I want to write but don't) and I said yes.</div><div><br></div><div>I almost quit 10 times in the 10 days leading up to the event. I didn't know what to expect and realized the day before that I might be incapable of writing dialogue! I'm pretty sure most plays have dialogue. Right? I'm a classic monologuer, it's always all about me, by me, for me. I don't think I know how to write for others.</div><div><br></div><div>I tried to prepare ahead of time, but it was an event that is not meant to be prepared for. You get an hour and a half to watch 35 kids audition. They can do scenes or any "talent" they'd like to share. Then it's time to lock the writers away and make them draft students in a quick series of rounds. Once you have your cast, then you get a random prompt that must inspire your writing. You're out of the school by 6pm and have til 6am to write a 10 minute play. No pressure.</div><div><br></div><div>I couldn't handle the enormity of all the options they had laid before me. I crave rules and structure. So I decided to make a rule that I could only choose kids that could sing, dance or play an instrument. Then the prompts I got were all nature themed. I had already decided I was writing a musical and nature was not inspiring me so I don't think I passed the prompt test... if anyone checked. I set my play in a high school and just parodied the kids current school, lazy has got nothing on me.</div><div><br></div><div>I don't think I've written under a deadline since college. Turns out it might be something that I should do more often. I was tired, so I was highly motivated to get this thing written so that I could go to bed. Think what you want, but I am 40 now and this is my truth. Sleep is very important.</div><div><br></div><div>I realized the students wouldn't have time to learn songs so I decided to parody popular songs. This is one of my secret super power abilities so it made writing go faster. Except I realized I had to list the name and artist for the kids to be able to find the song. I don't know those things. I had to use my other secret superpower, asking google questions that actually result in answers. That took longer than writing the songs did. I threw in the most minimal of dialogue scenes, added some staging notes and read it out loud while timing myself. It was already too long so I sent it without editing and went to bed.</div><div><br></div><div>In the morning I regretted everything. Why had I tried to use slang terms? What 40 year old googles 2022 teen lingo at 1am and then is proud of what they do with that information? My kids go to that school. We have the same last name. If this thing flops they have to deal with the fallout. This thought brought relief and then deep deep remorse. What had I done? Everyone in my house was asleep when I submitted it. Why didn't I wake someone up? Why did I think I could do this? How embarrassed would my kids be?</div><div><br></div><div>My adorable teens sent me texts throughout play practice that day. They had 10 hours to learn 4 short plays and then had to perform for a live audience that evening. My kiddos would send me texts saying that someone thought a line was funny or that someone wasn't mad that I had cast them. They really know how to buck a girl's spirits. One of them did light board and the other was cast as a shining star in one of the other short plays. They had yet to tell me they were changing their last names so all seemed ok.</div><div><br></div><div>Then the performance was upon us. I got there and loudly apologized to everyone in the audience around me for what they were about to see. I did not give it the effort it deserved. It was such a short time to create a masterpiece. The prompt was vague and hard to use. I had a lot of good excuses ready to go. Turns out I was beyond impressed with the other writers shows. They were very nature filled and interesting. The dialogue was on point. Mine went way better than I expected. I was really proud of the students I chose. At one point they harmonized! They finished my play with a sing along and got quite a bit of audience engagement. I actually got to see what's in my head everyday acted out on a stage. That was way more exhilarating than I anticipated.</div><div><br></div><div>Now, I hope that I can do it again someday. I love the stage, I love microphones, but I also love writing. So, if it can't be all about me, it could be fun to write more stuff for others. It gave me the confidence boost I needed to finish some of my other writing too. It also made me real weird for like 2 days. I was clearly still all nerves so I was cracking jokes non-stop and couldn't shut up. I know that's my normal, but it was like a weird version of my normal. I've got to learn to chill out a little.</div><div><br></div><div>I'm left pondering musicals. When did that become my thing? I never even tried out for a musical in high school. I've never been in one. I'm not musical. Singing song parodies is not something I used to do. I can't pinpoint when it started. I think maybe when I had kids. It was just my babies and me a lot of the time and I needed to entertain myself and them. Then, at some point, I decided it was acceptable to do around adults. I'm not full blown crazy yet, I don't think I've ever done it in a workplace or around people who have just met me. But it seems like it might just be a matter of time. I'm quickly reaching a point of no shame in my silly song game. It's coming. I'm emboldened :)</div>Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18331396042178335800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7942553385279927098.post-55791939185860457812022-01-01T21:42:00.000-08:002022-01-01T21:53:15.792-08:00Hau'oli Makahiki Hou!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmnls46yxwlnJMc2AnP0WAF71fjuQGTO2uqlE-aBcSJU25EbQ-Lpvo-13zavWJTTGWNJAzWVS09TB5y58JHTomEstaXl1g1M-Dvv6iUb1ggp-liN0fPpH4zGjj59KdyKR6hnjguV-WcZnZ/s1600/1641102124598670-0.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
<img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmnls46yxwlnJMc2AnP0WAF71fjuQGTO2uqlE-aBcSJU25EbQ-Lpvo-13zavWJTTGWNJAzWVS09TB5y58JHTomEstaXl1g1M-Dvv6iUb1ggp-liN0fPpH4zGjj59KdyKR6hnjguV-WcZnZ/s1600/1641102124598670-0.png" width="400">
</a>
</div>The Hawaiian words for Happy New Year make my heart happy. I don't get to hear them around my mountain town much so I guess it's up to me to say them :) I do work with a lady from Hawaii, so you can bet I'll be busting it out when I see her this week!<div><br></div><div>Oh yeah, you caught that? I work with someone? That's right folks, I got me a bona fide, irl, job. It's at a quilt pattern warehouse and I'm the event manager. However, due to a series of unfortunate events, I am mostly processing orders while the company works out some staffing stuff. This whole working girl gig is definitely making my life more interesting.</div><div><br></div><div>Have no fear! I'm still doing my Amazon design gig, but I don't want to do it full-time. That job is me, by myself, sitting a lot. I can only handle so much of that, even if I do love being creative. I've also been helping with our house renovations... but we are coming dangerously close to being done with the inside so my schedule is freeing up a bit on that front. Finally, drum roll please, my teens drive now!! That fact opened up a whole lot of free time, and they don't even do anything. How do parents with busy kids manage?! (J/K. For the record, they do have lives, activities and jobs, they also just have a lot of free time)</div><div><br></div><div>I turn 40 this year...in just a few days!</div><div><br></div><div>This feels pretty big and I'm fairly excited about it. I am definitely the type of person who gets better with age, cheese and wine got nothing on me, so look out world!! I don't like to celebrate my birthday (because I'm a closeted neurotic control freak, who is not so closeted because I post things like this on the internet.) But I'm looking forward to lots of birthday wishes and lots of presents. I love both of those things. :) This year is weird. I don't really have a special meal or dessert I want, e en though it's a monumental birthday year. I think I've been too spoiled by my current community of people who like the same things that I do, it's ruining birthdays forever. Somehow I'm managing, but it's a struggle. Birthdays were always my day to do the things I didn't get to do and eat what I wanted to eat and no one could complain about it. Forced birthday fun. I guess I must have everyone trained, because I feel like that's just my normal life now. </div><div><br></div><div>Finally, let's get to why I really felt like posting, New Years resolutions. I wish I was more resolute, I find myself firmly in the aspiring camp of thought. I aspire to be resolute in my vague ideas of things that would make my world better. I have had some really big thoughts and feelings about this all recently. </div><div><br></div><div>I'd like to do more for others, and also to put myself first more.</div><div><br></div><div>I'd like to learn new crafts, and to finish any of the many crafts I've started.</div><div><br></div><div>I'd like to write more and share less.</div><div><br></div><div>I'd like to continue getting healthier and to perfect handheld pies.</div><div><br></div><div>I'd like to be more organized and less controlling.</div><div><br></div><div>I'd like to be more positive and also more honest.</div><div><br></div><div>I'd like to adventure more and have more time to do nothing.</div><div><br></div><div>Good thing I don't have lofty goals. I like to keep it very realistic and practical. </div><div><br></div><div>Random musings for a new year:</div><div><br></div><div>I'm ridiculously excited about doing a thread journal where I stitch an icon every day for the entire year. History tells me this will probably not been seen through to completion, but for now I'm riding a creativity high that can't be contained.</div><div><br></div><div>I predict that my cardigan and scarf collections are going to see incredible growth this year. Its also a source of great personal glee for me.</div><div><br></div><div>My oldest children will become adults this year. I know this is monumental and I'm still wrapping my head around the enormity of it all. They are some of my favorite human beings of all time and I helped make them. That's pretty cool.</div><div><br></div><div>I'll leave you all with this. My sink is full of dirty dishes. My Christmas decorations are still up. There is definitely a load of laundry that needs to be folded and another getting musty in the washing machine. The dogs need groomed. I need to sit down and pay some bills. I'm going to go play sudoku on my iPad right now and drink a soda while I listen to my husband and sons play a board game that I do not enjoy. I love every bit of my life at this exact moment.</div>Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18331396042178335800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7942553385279927098.post-30121947551792202062021-10-07T12:04:00.001-07:002021-10-07T12:04:23.710-07:00Ways To Help Quarantiners<p> I've been through a lot of quarantines in the past year. With a family of 7, kids in public school and a large family/friend community it is inevitable. Some for me and some where we had to isolate family members in our household. I've personally been Covid positive twice. I've dealt with a moderate to severe case of covid in a loved one. Basically... I've had a lot of time to think about this. I should preface: I've also failed to provide the help I could when others were quarantining. </p><p>I've decided it's time to talk about quarantining.</p><p>I feel like no one is talking about it. </p><p>You don't see a lot of social media posts with "quarantined this week, hit me up with your Netflix suggestions" or "quarantined for 10 days, how many puzzles can I complete?" I certainly haven't seen any posts saying, "whole family is covid positive, going to be a long 10 days." </p><p>Why don't we tell people? Is my family really the only one that gets quarantined? My guess is that there's a variety of reasons. People are judgy. Some think it's your fault if you were exposed or they want to get into a heavy vaccine conversation. Some people are natural worriers and begin stressing about your health. It's not even just covid, it's hard to share when you're sick in general. Funny that we can share almost anything, from our gross hang nail, to the photo remains of our dinner, but not that we're under the weather.</p><p>Maybe you're all more private than me and you like that we don't share. Maybe my shariness makes you cringe. Oh well, it helps me process and I like to be transparent. Honesty is really important to me and not sharing feels like hiding, which doesn't feel honest. So... I'm going to try and share this stuff more. Hopefully it doesn't make me sound like a giant whinge all the time and comes across for what it is, me sharing my ups and my downs in life.</p><p>Alright, that's the end of the self help portion of this blog. Now, what I've really been thinking about, how can we help those who are quarantining?</p><p> There's a few things to note before I make my list. First, the help offered changes greatly depending on if they're quarantining because they are sick or because they had a close contact. Take that into account. One has more mental effects while the other has both mental and physical effects. Second, opinions need to be withheld, at least until their quarantine is done. There's nothing you can do now except be supportive. Individuals quarantined have different needs than families that are quarantined, take that into account too.</p><p>All this being said, some people won't tell you they're quarantined, won't want to share, and do want to tough it out alone. Some really are fine and won't need anything. Know your audience I guess? There's no perfect formula for when to push and when to back off, so trust your gut.</p><p>So now, with further ado, ways to help.</p><p>1. OFFER TO BRING SUPPLIES</p><p>No one wants to be a burden, and that's definitely how you feel when you're stuck at home and can't fend for yourself by getting your own groceries etc... So yes offer. But...don't give the standard, let me know if I can bring anything, offer. I find that for myself, and those I've offered to help, we don't tend to utilize this help. Be kindly forceful. Things like, Im going to the store today, what can I grab and drop off at your door? Make it seem like you're going anyway so it's really not out of your way. Leave things so there's no possible way they can feel guilty about accepting your help.</p><p>Remember kids often need things from school, or parents need things from work, so that they don't get behind while they're quarantined. The school will often get things ready and tell the parent to pick them up, not realizing that the parent is likely also quarantined. It can feel like an awkward ask, so the offer to help is awesome and thoughtful.</p><p>Prescriptions can be tricky, but are also super important. I feel really weird asking people to get meds for me, but also it can be needed, and its great when people offer because it's awkward to ask.</p><p>2. OFFER MEALS</p><p>Again, I'm going to say, be kindly forceful. It's not, let us know when we can bring a meal. It's, would you rather have us bring dinner wed, thurs or fri? Any food allergies? Favorite family dinners? If you're not hungry we'll bring something you can freeze for later. We all want to think that we've got this quarantine stuff handled, but this sort of thing can go such a long way to make you feel loved and cared for while isolated.</p><p>3. OFFER ACTIVITIES</p><p>This one varies a lot based on if they're sick or not. </p><p>Either way, ask what they're doing to fill their days. </p><p>Covid sick often means you only feel ok as long as you're laying down and not moving. Covid brain is a real issue so focusing can be hard. Things to listen to or watch are often the only way to fill your time. So check in. If they're netflixing their days away offer show suggestions or chat with them about what they watched. Offer to drop an audiobook by or get them one online and email them the download.</p><p>If their able to be functioning humans, they may be getting really bored. You can play online video games together, drop a book off for them to read, buy them a puzzle, get them crafting supplies. You want to help, so hopefully that means you know them at least a little. Think of what they're into and try to make it possible.</p><p>4. COMMUNICATE</p><p>This one is perhaps the most important and hardest to do. The daily text check ins are nice, but can be overwhelming. It's hard to share bad news via text too, so at least one phone call, or socially distanced face to face can be more important than you realize. It's also hard if people are only contacting you about covid. It's nice to still hear about your day or to have someone ask if there were any funny moments today or what was stressful. Anxiety and depression can run at all time highs when people are isolated and can be hard to share. If you know that someone struggles with these, be pushy with your check ins and make sure they have someone to talk to, a safe place to vent. It's also important for you to keep your anxiety and fears out of the conversations. I certainly get how scary it can be wondering if someone is going to be ok, but if you can't be calm and collected on your communications the quarantined people will feel like they can't talk to you. They already feel so much guilt and stress that they can't handle yours as well. It's hard, but if you can cry after you hang up or find someone else to share your fears and worries with, it will really help those quarantined people that are living in a state of anxiety and worry.</p><p>5. BE THERE</p><p> This one is tricky, because you often just can't. But, things can feel so unreal when you're quarantined. If someone is willing to come and talk through the screen door, fence, or across the yard, it can be great to help alleviate those feelings of isolation that come with, well...isolation. If you've recovered from Covid recently and are safe to be around people with active cases, even better. You can offer a hug, a walk, play a video game etc... and actually be with the quarantiner for a bit.</p><p>6. CELEBRATE</p><p>When is they're quarantine done? Don't just brush past it. Make them feel loved and missed. Let them know how great it is to have them back in the real world. A celebratory text, flowers, a balloon, a card, a for real, in person hug. These can all really help someone shed the negativity that comes with isolation and allow them to re-enter the real world as healthy as possible, mentally and physically. It's great to know that people care. It just is. We all want to be missed, at least a little.</p><p>My daughter says we should write a blog for how covid positives can help their community, so maybe that will be up next :) My family is currently on the middle of a quarantine where all 7 of us have tested positive, all with different symptoms, at different times. So obviously I've got some extra time to think about this all and respond to comments. Have covid or quarantine questions? Ask away! </p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18331396042178335800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7942553385279927098.post-48352277349061941452020-02-20T10:06:00.002-08:002020-02-20T10:06:44.749-08:00Internet Safety - Nosy Nellie #3I started my day today with a teenager in tears (he has an overly healthy guilt complex).<br />
<br />
That brought me to a google search for"Wasting School Time Watching Youtube." This rabbit hole is only one of many that I, and obviously lots of other googlers around the world, have to endure as a modern day parent in an internet world.<br />
<br />
I mostly shoulder this burden alone, it's not something I talk about with other parents etc.. very often. I'm not sure why this is, but I wonder if it has anything to do with shame or embarrassment... Lots to ponder here I'm sure.<br />
<br />
Never the less, I am now here to discuss it. My friend, who is coincidentally nicknamed Nellie in real life, messaged me over a week ago asking me to share with her, websites to be leery of, how to use parent settings, signs to watch out for etc.. Like the brilliant friend that I am, I never responded, although to be fair I warned her she might need to harass me to get the info and she's just not a harasser. So now, for the whole worldwide web to see, let me share with you some of our vast journey into children and the internet, and the unharmonious disaster it has been.<br />
<br />
Our internet disasters began around 6th grade for our older boys. They got laptops when we switched to a blended learning school that taught several days of the coursework online. We were struggling with the vocabulary curriculum and a friend suggested adding pictures to the words to help with remembering. So, I taught my boys about google images and vocabulary suddenly became a very entertaining class. It went well for awhile. My husband is a software engineer and works with computers daily so we had installed parental filters and locked things down pretty decently on our end. But...there's always a loophole. As it turns out, our filters blocked google searches, but not google image searches. So, when our sons heard new words at school, they did what I had taught them to do and google image searched the word to figure it out. We caught a creton, that was formerly identified as one of our children, bringing their laptop into their room and, as the story eeked out of them, discovered that someone used the word porn and our special creton google image searched that and ended up in a seriously dark and disturbing rabbit hole. I do not recommend it. To satisfy your curiosity and further discourage you from doing this yourself, I'll share that our 11 year old was very confused as to the direction from which most sex occurs and if sex was also okay with animals and inanimate objects. My heart broke and my eyes burned as I had to see what he had seen just so that we could talk about it. There is not enough soap in the world to cleanse me from that google search.<br />
<br />
In the years since then we have had numerous other missteps, or "learning opportunities", thanks to our three sons. Our girls will be nearing the age of no return in regards to the internet world very soon. With that, and my teenagers fresh morning tears, in mind, here's what I can offer to you all. Hopefully my disasters can help you feel less alone or serve as cautionary tales.<br />
<br />
The main thing to know is that talking to your kids about internet safety is number one. It has to start with a conversation where you come to an agreement on what they can have access to. A lot of internet sites recommend having your kid sign a physical contract regarding internet use. I have not tried that one. My children lack integrity when it comes to things like this so I don't think it would help. Maybe your kids are better than mine.<br />
<br />
Important points of discussion include, but are not limited to:<br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">1. How can they access the internet? </span></b><br />
Everything is connected to the internet these days and kids know it even if you don't. You may begin to regret purchasing that "smart" fridge when it becomes the gateway to making your child dumber. The best choice that I've found, is to limit or ban personal electronic devices that have internet access. There's an instant accountability factor to watching youtube on the 55 inch tv or to google searches that happen on a shared computer that everyone can see because it's in a main room of your house. I have had zero success limiting access on personal devices, my kids have bypassed any and all types of blocking and monitoring on their phones and on school computers. Maybe I'm raising evil geniuses? With that in mind, personal devices are charged next to our front door and stay there unless they are "needed." When in use they have time limits and are subject to the open room policy, which means they are not allowed behind closed doors and should be used where other people are around. How can they access the internet? In open public spaces and with permission.<br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">2. When can they access the internet?</span></b><br />
There are some amazing tools out there that make it so you can turn your internet off and on like a switch. Using these can help you to not punish yourselves for wanting to watch Netflix til 2am while still effectively shutting down every other electronic device in your home during the nighttime hours. If you don't want to pay the cost of new hardware, or learn new technology stuff, there's always the good 'ol option of unplugging your modem or router and keeping it in your room at night. If they can't have internet, no one can!!! I am sure I am not the only one who took my child to the pediatrician, worried that they had mono because they were suddenly sooooo tired all the time, only to discover that they were getting up in the middle of the night to play minecraft for hours. No, just me? Set rules for when they can go online, listen to what they're saying about what they need and be sure you're on the same page. Be prepared to sleep with your modem under your pillow as a last resort. My children can use electronics when school and chores are done and they've had at least 30 minutes of physical exercise. This has been a great natural barrier for us that they can't really argue with. The ways they come up to "exercise" also provide me with regular entertainment. This rule allows me to not say "no" so much and instead check in with them to see if they're getting the things done that they need to.<br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">3. What can they access on the internet?</span></b><br />
This is the big one! Our rule of thumb is that they shouldn't be looking at anything on the internet that they can't tell their Grandma about. It can be any important person in your childs life (that doesn't watch porn, and isn't into the dark web preferably...) but it serves as a good checkpoint for when they're not sure whats okay and whats not. We have also used it as a punishment and made them call Grandma to tell her what they've been up to on the internet. It may be one of the best punishments we've ever dreamed up. Sorry Grandma, but also thank you for being the person you are in my child's life.<br />
<br />
This is where parental controls can be key. However, any smart kid, and let's face it, you all think yours are geniuses, can get around these. I'm not saying don't use them, but I don't want you to trust them completely. Put it on your calendar to regularly check their browser history, texts, search history and to sit down and ask them what they are into online and how they are spending their time. Be prepared to be bamboozled, if you aren't, thank your lucky stars that God gave you that child, and be prepare for trials and tribulations elsewhere, no one is perfect. I'm not saying hover, but I am saying be aware.<br />
<br />
As you think about what is okay, I strongly recommend that children not be allowed to play video games with open chat forums and anonymous online players. There are plenty of amazing, and popular, games that do not have these features, do not let your child convince you otherwise. When you read about creeps targeting children, these are the games they are using. Always look to see if the chat function can be turned off, but know that a smart kid knows how to turn it back on when you're not looking, and remember, your kid is a genius.<br />
<br />
What games are okay? I have a husband who seems to play every game, or know someone who does, so I just ask him. If you don't have the same kind of access as me, utilize parental reviews online. They are out there for every game imaginable and can really help you decide. Our rule is 2 games for our kids phones. That's all they can have, and theoretically, all they should have time to play. If they want to download a new game they have to ask. On Android there are a lot of ways they can be sneaky (although most don't realize that google play keeps track of everything you download ever, unless you tell deliberately erase stuff) on Apple, if you have them listed as a child, there is a setting where you have to sign in to allow all downloads and can see all downloads. For the computer, no one downloads anything without asking. Our kids way around this, and a very popular workaround on school devices everywhere because it bypasses firewalls, are .io games. These are silly little mini games that you play in your browser window and that are not indexed into the world wide web as "games" so they can bypass firewalls and blocking software. If you block all .io addresses, Jackbox games won't work on your Playstation. I say this from experience. Somehow limiting them always punishes me. I hate .io games. They are useless time wasters that I can never seem to be rid of. There are a lot of great articles and websites to tell you what is scary and what is okay when it comes to online games.<br />
<br />
What about social media? I personally feel very strongly that kids don't need it. More girls than boys seem to beg for it. I have heard many, many compelling arguments about why it's necessary in todays electronic world and I'm aware of the social suicide I am causing them to endure. I still say no. The internet is forever, and a single screenshot can render anything you delete into a useless feat. Kids do not have the maturity to handle the social media world and the world hasn't shown much maturity in handling it either. If you allow it, make it a condition that you are their friend and that you check in to see what they're up to occasionally. Be very sure to utilize privacy settings at their max. It's easier to lower them later than to live with what can happen when you start without them. Google is your friend here. Regularly search your childs name and see what comes up. Do this with your child if you need to help them see the permanence of their actions. Google your own name occasionally too, it's worthwhile. Be aware that anything with a chat function is essentially social media. We forget about sites like reddit, that can be good sources of information, but also have chat forums and lurkers and dark sides. This is where my child met and befriended a bunch of drug addicts and learned how to google prescription med uses, how to build your own bong and so many others things I never wanted to know and never wanted to discuss with him. On the plus side, it really upped his resourcefulness, everything he learned was really about using what you have on hand. If only we could use his skills for good instead of evil right?<br />
<br />
It's important to discuss the internet as both a useful tool and a dangerous weapon. It definitely has two sides. Emphasize what you're comfortable having your kids do on the internet and listen to what they want to do on the internet. Regularly schedule to rediscuss. If you have open lines of communication then it doesn't have to be scary out there. I mean, I have 5 kids, so statistics say it will be scary with at least one of them even if I do my best, but maybe you'll do better. If you mess up, google is your friend. You will find other people going through the same thing and endless options and ideas for what to try next when you feel overwhelmed. There is no single answer that will work for everyone. Some kids navigate this new fangled technology world with ease and others find all the sharp jagged edges and make the journey hard. It's just how this stuff goes.<br />
<br />
All that being said, we've mostly made it through the porn searches, internet creepers. online bullying, fake email creations, online purchases of illicit substances, unauthorized downloads, midnight game playing and inappropriate google search phases with our boys. I have stories about all of these moments that can make you either laugh or cry, and I'm glad they're mostly behind us. We have shown our children that we can see through incognito windows, pull up deleted browser histories, see online purchases and basically "internet" better than them so they have mostly given up or reverted to things they know will get them caught. Or maybe, they "internet" on a whole other level now and we just haven't caught them yet. If so, I can only pray they'll use their powers for good when they grow up.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
But, our current nemesis is Youtube. It is the ultimate time waster that has just enough useful content that, as a household, we don't want it permablocked. When I google searched this morning I came up with an answer from Michael Brennan, Former IT Executive, Digital Marketing Strategist on Quora. He says he is a psychologist in his answer and details the definition of procrastination in a great way. His solution? Note how much time you're spending, keep a log, help make yourself aware. Self impose time limits (there are apps for this too, but again, your kids can get around them). Make a schedule of your time. Loosely schedule your "have to's" and your "want to's" on paper with a pen. He noted the importance of writing it out for how our brain processes the information. Finally he recommended a book called "12 rules for life: an antidote for chaos."<br />
<br />
His solution really resonated with me and with my son when I showed it to him. My 15 year olds, and my 13 year old, are certainly at an age where they can take control of their schedules and not let these time wasters be the end of them. This problem is one that everyone faces and that will not go away until is acknowledged and held accountable. I am kind of excited that it's happening now when the consequences aren't as heavy and when we can be around to help them build an armory of tools to combat procrastination before they head into the adult world. I suppose I kind of feel that way about all of it, I'm glad it happened now and that we could work through it together. I still hope it doesn't happen to you, and wish you the best of luck on your journey through this internet ridden world with your child.<br />
<br />
Please share what works for you or any questions that you might have. Even the nosy ones :)<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWkFcPkcDZWARjr-PlC_N-QMWrpwg1E4tmL0Jg6kurUz-qq2BP39oVzmCxc65CuEtMlwrDRnwQKvr-vmRVMR7H458mClsxD2zQICXgKT0f9vww5wC56EB9kitZbPtM9JN5CPhhmI3ZLBcM/s1600/20160526_194040.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWkFcPkcDZWARjr-PlC_N-QMWrpwg1E4tmL0Jg6kurUz-qq2BP39oVzmCxc65CuEtMlwrDRnwQKvr-vmRVMR7H458mClsxD2zQICXgKT0f9vww5wC56EB9kitZbPtM9JN5CPhhmI3ZLBcM/s320/20160526_194040.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Obligatory pics of my kids using technology. As you can see, it's been going on for awhile :)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9_p-fiGVPEZ2mW74Z4cAtYF8PHYZ1vaR5Rypn_0SStAhZDWtOqrj3bH2yXI-k-woTegQZiNRL4kJBSHBzj1pIQ4uea4AWow-ugcfKWQh0oru5cv8JXJFtKX4ARcQA7KRLgb_31sSHzOjB/s1600/20151018_133255.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9_p-fiGVPEZ2mW74Z4cAtYF8PHYZ1vaR5Rypn_0SStAhZDWtOqrj3bH2yXI-k-woTegQZiNRL4kJBSHBzj1pIQ4uea4AWow-ugcfKWQh0oru5cv8JXJFtKX4ARcQA7KRLgb_31sSHzOjB/s320/20151018_133255.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Blended learning home day.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1AsVkrBwuSyrd-sy6ieO69fEPy9WSX14DuvRRD0zM8hxqgujTPrLDKJKwYC7g7_H_BuaYXQKqwi3MBiMzZUqflOP3UTekmEP4_HX4zSIUDW0PD3HP6M9_L_B5wKzXRF6K3p2P5aNbvSOj/s1600/20150107_155346.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1AsVkrBwuSyrd-sy6ieO69fEPy9WSX14DuvRRD0zM8hxqgujTPrLDKJKwYC7g7_H_BuaYXQKqwi3MBiMzZUqflOP3UTekmEP4_HX4zSIUDW0PD3HP6M9_L_B5wKzXRF6K3p2P5aNbvSOj/s320/20150107_155346.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Is he doing school or watching Youtube? The smile is usually a dead giveaway!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18331396042178335800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7942553385279927098.post-63975262313323136492020-02-14T12:42:00.000-08:002020-02-14T12:42:36.258-08:00I Need To Tell You SomethingSo...life is weird.<br />
<br />
I have lived my entire life taking being healthy for granted.<br />
<br />
I've only been seeing a doctor for the last 3 years, and that's been mostly for well visits and when they ask if I have concerns, I'm always baffled by the question and my answer is no. I'm just there because I think I'm supposed to go get checkups. It's part of adulting right?<br />
<br />
But, last August my life got turned upside down and I've been reeling trying to find my new normal.<br />
<br />
I haven't said anything to the world at large, and wasn't going to, until I made a new facebook friend recently. She's in my online support group and lives in Denver. She was diagnosed recently and found the support group and facebook friend requested people and I accepted. I normally wouldn't accept a facebook friend like that, I am very choosy because I share so much online, but I did. As her friend I could see that she was sharing her diagnosis with everyone she knew and sharing information to educate people on her disease. It was fascinating and she received very supportive responses. Why wasn't I doing that?<br />
<br />
I realized that it was because I was still in a place where I was hoping it wasn't true. Because it's a diagnosis with no test to confirm and because it could also be several other, less forever type, things, I did not accept it. I still have secret hopes that everyone is wrong and it all turns out to be something insanely simple and fixable. (Guess they're not so secret hopes now) Even awful, but fixable would be preferable. I found myself praying that they'd find a tumor or growth or something on any of the hundred blood tests, ct scans, mri's etc... Now that is a weird headspace to find yourself in. It's not healthy. I think owning the diagnosis and moving forward is probably the healthier option. I'm glad I had someone to show me that.<br />
<br />
In the process of all this I shut down. I kept bailing on plans. I only saw people on good days so no one knew I had bad days. I stopped exercising for fear it would trigger something. I tried soooo many different meds and diets and treatments to see if they would help and they all had weird side effects that weren't just for me to deal with, my whole family was stuck with the monster I had become. Unreliable, unpredictable, lazy, whiny. Let me tell you, I wasn't anyone's ray of sunshine.<br />
<br />
Which brings me to now and to what I have to say. I have been diagnosed with Atypical Trigeminal Neuralgia. Typing that felt like the announcement in AA that each person gives before they speak. Anyways, moving on. This is a chronic facial pain condition, and mine is primarily on my left side. All the tests have come back clear which means I don't have anything scarier than this, but also means that doctors don't know what is causing this. It's a disease usually reserved for older people and there is no cure. There are anti-seizure medication options that all come with significant side effects and that do not work long term. There are several brain surgery options as well, but they are usually reserved for visible nerve compressions, which I do not have. Sooo, lots of great options right? I have come to understand what it's like to want to do something and be physically incapable of it. I am thankful that my moments like that are fleeting. I feel so awful for those that are stuck in that condition permanently and I am in awe of what they accomplish with those kinds of limitations.<br />
<br />
This last week I have finally had my first almost pain free days since this started in August 2018. They have been glorious. They have also made me see how much I've lost and given up in the last 6 months. It's left me contemplative, remorseful and reinvigorated to do better and be better. At least as long as the meds work. My current meds make me stupid, dizzy, short tempered and cause rapid weight gain, aren't those some fun side effects? I'm learning how to deal with them so I only feel ridiculous some of the time now. I don't actually know if they're working, if my amazing physical therapist has pushed a magic button, or if I am in remission, which is something this disease can swing you in and out of at will. But whatever is happening, I'll take it.<br />
<br />
Not really looking for thoughts and prayers or even for support, just wanted to possibly provide my world with some understanding of whatever this monster is. I can't imagine how worried you've been about my recent scarf fetishes, my sudden need for glasses or the fact that you never see me and I often don't answer texts anymore. I have not been myself. The monster that I will henceforth refer to as Scarfy has been a real bitch to deal with. I apologize for the crassness, but it was the only word that felt right for the situation.<br />
<br />
I feel remiss if I don't mention that my family has been pretty great through this. They now cook all the meals. They have figured out how to exist without me on the days where I can't speak or be around people. They proudly stand next to me as I swath myself in scarves and hide my face from the world with never a hint of embarassment. They bring me hot drinks and heating pads and give me space when I act scary. They have all educated themselves on the disease and know it's okay to let me know if I'm behaving weird or something looks off since I am not the best judge of anything anymore. The listen to audiobooks when I can't read aloud. We all work on figuring out solutions together.<br />
<br />
As I'm rereading this I realize it sounds like I'm dying, and I'm not. I'm figuring out my new reality and even on bad days this crap is usually only a few hours of the day. I still manage to get out and have fun and function. I'm getting past the ptsd of constantly worrying that everything I do might be a trigger and getting too scared to do anything. I am going to be in charge of Scarfy and stop letting him be in charge of me. When in doubt, I bring an actual scarf everywhere I go, so I'm covered. You see what I did there? Ha. See, I'm still laughing too. Sometimes. And I have a really cute pill case now, so fun new acccessories are always a positive right?<br />
<br />
That's it. That's all for now. I have overshared for today. It's a whiny post, I'm clearly still working on that part. I'll leave you with some informational links in case you want to know more about this ridiculous excuse for a disease and also a few ridiculous pics that I take to document when I can't make facial expressions or when even wind hurts me so I have to wear whatever mask I can devise. Question: Do you have to be Muslim to wear a hijab, because I really feel like that could be my perfect solution... I'll file that idea as research for later.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8F8yflGHTTk&feature=youtu.be&fbclid=IwAR10f_QznbG-DzQoyS4tCr951l--4lsUvknaP5Bfd-14p1paqvoOFBXZqpw">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8F8yflGHTTk&feature=youtu.be&fbclid=IwAR10f_QznbG-DzQoyS4tCr951l--4lsUvknaP5Bfd-14p1paqvoOFBXZqpw</a><br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDaMsJz8Rp4">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDaMsJz8Rp4</a><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyuC30-YWIN4m-wK8gclS98FV_CL2OkFJJVMmlaHZ2mxxns7_k9DMMsr1zpgycfb2bfgtocV6oWIzspmgt35uxhVjXsLWF4Gl-EFk7uhKvoCHJS31r17jYJ6MqDq73IB5EPq22xiona9XS/s1600/FB_IMG_1579229314606.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="879" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyuC30-YWIN4m-wK8gclS98FV_CL2OkFJJVMmlaHZ2mxxns7_k9DMMsr1zpgycfb2bfgtocV6oWIzspmgt35uxhVjXsLWF4Gl-EFk7uhKvoCHJS31r17jYJ6MqDq73IB5EPq22xiona9XS/s200/FB_IMG_1579229314606.jpg" width="109" /></a></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3zEH2pkBb7xzi1MJgLa-CuRpNJf_JS4XAWqtYcQPzv05lv3-a6mybqNesZP9DsG-mZ3z0PQ3DGDPkPWOz5mu1xZ329TiadBIr5i1aE7MxBxHMFlaMRwMAbrloQndoaSLAMoKGxSztZ49L/s1600/FB_IMG_1579229418229.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1072" data-original-width="1440" height="148" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3zEH2pkBb7xzi1MJgLa-CuRpNJf_JS4XAWqtYcQPzv05lv3-a6mybqNesZP9DsG-mZ3z0PQ3DGDPkPWOz5mu1xZ329TiadBIr5i1aE7MxBxHMFlaMRwMAbrloQndoaSLAMoKGxSztZ49L/s200/FB_IMG_1579229418229.jpg" width="200" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0jpZhDaj1LTaY_cHrIJsFUjU5wXuE9MLK1BSsBp2sRx0HYvsODJaCfppjQP8ZFsvg6kbNgnVzJmBwXJ_3WDK9xApZLaVsEBzP6W3tQum3Tq2zRPZT3QHeha1QQOKODZJYnT0D6oqk7DzZ/s1600/IMG_20200114_124521.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0jpZhDaj1LTaY_cHrIJsFUjU5wXuE9MLK1BSsBp2sRx0HYvsODJaCfppjQP8ZFsvg6kbNgnVzJmBwXJ_3WDK9xApZLaVsEBzP6W3tQum3Tq2zRPZT3QHeha1QQOKODZJYnT0D6oqk7DzZ/s200/IMG_20200114_124521.jpg" width="150" /></a><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeZrxcnhtj2eff44SkQ_R82bQjZx25VgpGkvTHTcKwUi4EpHAlfSz2IuNprj2tGjoiBGej0dn3qspVjF_xDAEKj2_y-Tph6lE-PmeIlzlz8aOM2F-HClJwnfhEguWcr12rBfvvEh8U1eO2/s1600/IMG_20191210_194415.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeZrxcnhtj2eff44SkQ_R82bQjZx25VgpGkvTHTcKwUi4EpHAlfSz2IuNprj2tGjoiBGej0dn3qspVjF_xDAEKj2_y-Tph6lE-PmeIlzlz8aOM2F-HClJwnfhEguWcr12rBfvvEh8U1eO2/s200/IMG_20191210_194415.jpg" width="150" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpnadh5L_nhbUkgtfTdaivyGt6qU2p3KMhLET656HoxvGYPUzAGNXPL1sNLRBrUwiR-0AyOyXbw4TC5Ou0I692lleOl_nCVLUzpdOTIXypyhG0V0mAAMvzNtS0X4xoN2zs5ADYWQfxEjpe/s1600/IMG_20191231_122813.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpnadh5L_nhbUkgtfTdaivyGt6qU2p3KMhLET656HoxvGYPUzAGNXPL1sNLRBrUwiR-0AyOyXbw4TC5Ou0I692lleOl_nCVLUzpdOTIXypyhG0V0mAAMvzNtS0X4xoN2zs5ADYWQfxEjpe/s200/IMG_20191231_122813.jpg" width="150" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicuZLqNt0RimQ91wEfu8OQPcy7rSqzJWPxsf0oZn2yfYsQRWUdvav3JuDwbDg9RE4jwTBd6HbS3jJNSzshmrFogWNEeG59VKSrME4R3OFIlzBIoZ8rnn8JogI_JfZ5Qp82YIYBRHw2vDmD/s1600/00100sPORTRAIT_00100_BURST20191218095946035_COVER.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicuZLqNt0RimQ91wEfu8OQPcy7rSqzJWPxsf0oZn2yfYsQRWUdvav3JuDwbDg9RE4jwTBd6HbS3jJNSzshmrFogWNEeG59VKSrME4R3OFIlzBIoZ8rnn8JogI_JfZ5Qp82YIYBRHw2vDmD/s200/00100sPORTRAIT_00100_BURST20191218095946035_COVER.jpg" width="150" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18331396042178335800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7942553385279927098.post-21035846974691959192020-02-13T13:05:00.000-08:002020-02-13T13:06:19.818-08:00Nosy Nellie #2 - FoodIt's time to talk about it. It surrounds us all the time. Some of us can't stop thinking about it. We love it, we hate it, we have to have it to survive.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Food.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I wrote that one of the things on my list of stuff that overwhelms me was cooking. My stepsister had a similar comment about making dinner that everyone will eat being an overwhelming thing. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So, I thought about it. And it overwhelmed me. Surprise, surprise.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I have multiple issues with food. I am a picky eater, like a really picky eater. You probably don't want to invite me to dinner, and I completely understand. I don't want my kids to be picky and I could write a whole other blog post on how I'm trying to accomplish that, but I probably won't. I'd call it Inside the Picky Eaters Head.<br />
<br />
I don't particularly enjoy cooking meals. It's a lot of prep, focus and clean up and I could be playing a game on my phone or reading a book instead. It's kind of thankless, and not like thankless but worth it, like cleaning your shower is. Like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich could have got the job done quicker and with less mess, sort of thankless. And finally, there's the whole meal planning, grocery shopping and healthy aspects. It's like, enough already, we get it. Food is exhausting.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
To all of you foodies out there, I applaud you, and I'm officially jealous. Also, hats off to the cooking network (is that what it's called?) because that sometimes manages to inspire me. Other times it shames me. To people who love food and all that it involves, this post is not for you.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Let's break this down into the parts that overwhelm me and how I'm overcoming it.<br />
<br />
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">Step One: Meal Planning</span></u></b><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I have figured this one out! I am a genius!! Seriously, it's been like over a year now of being able to make meals that people eat. I'll hold for the applause.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiptn-74mwEQLjGX9LvtR7YAWOBRmhnFi3ooUL6Q_yaPaSLF0Njpd07nZPSMc-CjVsfXvlRXQ-l3_OGpqxBdpEz_SNakxWd9R1MrcClHkW49S2sv6I-ZK_xyO-mw4esfSqHqi8rHQlzuIo5/s1600/IMG_20200213_122656.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiptn-74mwEQLjGX9LvtR7YAWOBRmhnFi3ooUL6Q_yaPaSLF0Njpd07nZPSMc-CjVsfXvlRXQ-l3_OGpqxBdpEz_SNakxWd9R1MrcClHkW49S2sv6I-ZK_xyO-mw4esfSqHqi8rHQlzuIo5/s320/IMG_20200213_122656.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The List</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Here's part one of my secret: the list.<br />
It has been an incredibly simple, yet effective, tool. I sat my family down, and we didn't get back up, until everyone had thought of at least two meals that they really liked. We talked about the suggestions, and any meals that were liked by more than half the family made it on the list. This served us well for over a year and then I introduced the Better and Homes and Garden cookbook as well. Any child looking to get creative or wanting to try something new has been welcome to find a recipe to follow in here.<br />
<br />
We are a large family so we ended up with a lot of ideas, smaller families may need to think of more things that they each like to make this plan work. My husband, and sometimes me too, tries to eat keto, so most of our dinners have at least a version of them that can be keto. We used to just follow this and I would have a basic grocery list each week and just look at this list on the side of our fridge for inspiration as to what to cook.<br />
<br />
As you can see, my adorable days of the week menu has been very useful as a list maker, not so much as a weekly planner. Plans for that are in the works. I suck at updating stuff on the regular though. I'm a one and done sort of planner it would seem.<br />
<br />
Part two of my secret: the people.Nowadays, everyone has a day to cook in our house except for me. Because A. I don't want to and B. I have to help almost everyone else. It's been this way for months, and my husband only realized that I don't have a day assigned to cook this past week. It was a fun moment. I smiled. I don't <i>actually</i> hate cooking, but I don't love it, and my health has made me wildly unpredictable and unreliable, so my personal chef plan was born.<br />
<br />
Every two weeks we sit down and I make everyone tell me two meals they'll be cooking. We look at the calendar to see if anyone is getting a free pass due to scheduled activities etc... and the kids eat leftovers, or make your own dinners, on my husband and my date night once a week. And so, a plan is made and people are fed.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><u>Step Two: Grocery Shopping</u></b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><u><br /></u></b></span>
Shout out to my best friend and her wife for finally getting me to try the whole online grocery ordering thing! As they think of things during the week, they put them in their Walmart Grocery App cart and then on the weekend they go and pick up the order without ever having to go in the store. It's a real time saver for them. Inspiring right? So organized and so simple.<br />
<br />
But... I love the store. I love most any kind of shopping. I have been against trying the online ordering because then I wouldn't go in the store. I'm glad I caved. For me it's a huge money saver when I am not wandering through and finding other items that I'm sure I "need." That being said, I've only used the online pickup thingamajig once. But I did love it. I should do it more. Be like my best friend on this one. Trust me.<br />
<br />
Meanwhile at our house, my family tells our Echo Dot to put items on the list as we run out of them. Ain't technology grand? My entire family cooks now, so I consult the meal plan that I make them sit down and creat and then I hunt through our kitchen to ascertain what items will be needed and also consult Alexa for the staples that we may need. Next, I should type the items into the grocery store app and schedule a pickup and go to Costco for the rest because I'm too cheap to pay them to deliver. Instead, I usually end up going to three stores, on different days, to get everything and end up buying a lot of extra things along the way. I'm obviously still a work in progress in this area. I need to get out more so that grocery shopping stops seeming so appealing. Food for thought.<br />
<br />
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">Step Three: Cooking</span></u></b><br />
<br />
This is my favorite, because I don't do it. Sort of. I have a 6 and a 7 year old as two of my personal chefs, so they rely heavily on me as their sous chef. It was a bit of a struggle at first, but my kids have all really leaned in to the cooking requirement, and even seem to take pride in what they come up with. Sometimes I take pictures of it because I'm so gall darned proud that I've found a way to not be the cook.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEd8F_F68Kt4CswoKh2FR37GHC273KIsCHOBoSDtec4l754xUXQYPfBWfebtUpSXmpm32A8KbA2HL2n2DyE_c110UrOdDHnMZhQjihofadYhWOutXMWM1x1Uwp9jcOeHlVUFvF4RIOJm7f/s1600/IMG_20200111_173405.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEd8F_F68Kt4CswoKh2FR37GHC273KIsCHOBoSDtec4l754xUXQYPfBWfebtUpSXmpm32A8KbA2HL2n2DyE_c110UrOdDHnMZhQjihofadYhWOutXMWM1x1Uwp9jcOeHlVUFvF4RIOJm7f/s200/IMG_20200111_173405.jpg" width="150" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglU91Y0F2pclfvZ_AZ7U5XfWjN_O31cEwdha-Df7gzJXeGqiUe2d27YvMWaReztw0-BXsO83Q2lSvoeI6Rqu8HtSFxqTH21E4zO1Z1YpaiGlf6VFh72_I-T4bsTvhitUALSeWtc_fKiReE/s1600/IMG_20191114_190257363.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglU91Y0F2pclfvZ_AZ7U5XfWjN_O31cEwdha-Df7gzJXeGqiUe2d27YvMWaReztw0-BXsO83Q2lSvoeI6Rqu8HtSFxqTH21E4zO1Z1YpaiGlf6VFh72_I-T4bsTvhitUALSeWtc_fKiReE/s200/IMG_20191114_190257363.jpg" width="150" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi06UcwkDoidkwBtU4ECLbbr2BEaVvokElnb5SGdNb_jRkqgxypILKwBX4fOnbI6LucBTHzBjz0vWPpshw7iYRN8oMZF3mfNbmkxhsCf14xTf0Hyn5mt8Q_fOOk16Gr_cvkHT2GlL2dwunu/s1600/IMG_20200203_184139.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi06UcwkDoidkwBtU4ECLbbr2BEaVvokElnb5SGdNb_jRkqgxypILKwBX4fOnbI6LucBTHzBjz0vWPpshw7iYRN8oMZF3mfNbmkxhsCf14xTf0Hyn5mt8Q_fOOk16Gr_cvkHT2GlL2dwunu/s200/IMG_20200203_184139.jpg" width="200" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1IvsKCeIcKOyTdWeNV7z62-1LA_jMrW4dBHULmuasBFPio4N9T2OrBimNj9wvkD1TZk5CxdWD44lmzXgdWD6n5U0fDQAOa3LHzv-5n0wMvozWUwNz6gn4keGdsaCXlal63N-CRc73r4iD/s1600/00100lrPORTRAIT_00100_BURST20200110182310942_COVER.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1IvsKCeIcKOyTdWeNV7z62-1LA_jMrW4dBHULmuasBFPio4N9T2OrBimNj9wvkD1TZk5CxdWD44lmzXgdWD6n5U0fDQAOa3LHzv-5n0wMvozWUwNz6gn4keGdsaCXlal63N-CRc73r4iD/s200/00100lrPORTRAIT_00100_BURST20200110182310942_COVER.jpg" width="200" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm-V7udIr4leWYL5hD72IpfbuGf572gZ4upF7aEu9ypTLEw5hf-1Bs0QhELCWaQIlA67lZ45N_3jBOS8D9OT3c37b50-0UZ05KnubQtbMi3jI6xlXJvQPeh4UUIRl4YCvzjVnN-4_gAvkD/s1600/IMG_20180725_182915860.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm-V7udIr4leWYL5hD72IpfbuGf572gZ4upF7aEu9ypTLEw5hf-1Bs0QhELCWaQIlA67lZ45N_3jBOS8D9OT3c37b50-0UZ05KnubQtbMi3jI6xlXJvQPeh4UUIRl4YCvzjVnN-4_gAvkD/s200/IMG_20180725_182915860.jpg" width="150" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRh3yg4MweAnjKWJq4wTs76NuBsWoXhDKZj_RHm27MtixCCk2y4LuXrHt2dPqAizcM0O4yngVwB-BlTpr4ivYDOrg1Kx9_lRZjZqIw5nCE5zEsDt-56fLqcOsLB7He7_70Vhs8IkE5Ao1J/s1600/MVIMG_20200110_180023.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRh3yg4MweAnjKWJq4wTs76NuBsWoXhDKZj_RHm27MtixCCk2y4LuXrHt2dPqAizcM0O4yngVwB-BlTpr4ivYDOrg1Kx9_lRZjZqIw5nCE5zEsDt-56fLqcOsLB7He7_70Vhs8IkE5Ao1J/s320/MVIMG_20200110_180023.jpg" width="240" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2FeohJ93ySlGWc6ByJm_-Xy0v3xDhtvSbXSf4b4sfdXfa_ku14QNbcr_n6BHun4J5V8R4CQufns3PDY4gD2l2n8nHJC7l8FsewDSnDTmWB7Xp38GwLaUDw5IWrgJMKo79SabobAImgY0a/s1600/IMG_20200111_172415.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2FeohJ93ySlGWc6ByJm_-Xy0v3xDhtvSbXSf4b4sfdXfa_ku14QNbcr_n6BHun4J5V8R4CQufns3PDY4gD2l2n8nHJC7l8FsewDSnDTmWB7Xp38GwLaUDw5IWrgJMKo79SabobAImgY0a/s320/IMG_20200111_172415.jpg" width="240" /></a><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
My husband does Sundays, it's our big family dinner night and he does his own shopping and planning. Baby has Mondays, New Girl has Tuesdays, Wednesday is date night, Moe has Thursdays, Curly has Fridays and Larry has Saturdays. Everyone has a night of the week when they don't have a lot else going on so that it doesn't feel overwhelming.<br />
Obviously this system doesn't work if your kids are in a million activities or if you love to cook and this would kill your greatest joy, but everyone needs to find their own stride. Making my kids participate has made them aware of how to cook, how to plan, to think of others, and it ensures that everyone likes dinner at least once a week (although sometimes it's not the one they cooked!)<br />
<br />
<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">Step Four: Clean Up</span></u></b><br />
<br />
Someone who didn't cook is required to clean up each night, I pass the task out at random and based off if heavy dishes were used that could be broken by small people. Curly has been assigned to dishes for the year so he does those once everything is cleaned up from dinner. This is done as a bare minimum sort of chore by my kids so my kitchen is usually still a mess after dinner. I don't usually wipe down counters and thoroughly clean til the next morning, or at least once every few days. In this area I could really step up my game. I'm just now realizing as I type this. Light bulb.<br />
<br />
And...that's it. Everyone is involved and invested. This minimizes the complaining by 1000% and hopefully gives my kids some skills they could use as adults. And again, it means I don't have to cook, so everyone is happy in the end, right? It works for us. And now you know, you Nosy Nellie.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18331396042178335800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7942553385279927098.post-20606845504872369282019-12-05T16:47:00.001-08:002019-12-05T16:47:28.996-08:00Overwhelmed and Unprepared - Nosy Nellie #1Let's just get this out of the way right off the bat. No, I have not posted in quite awhile. Yes, I have reasons. Are we good now? Let's move on.<br />
<br />
A friend texted me today wondering what to do when feeling overwhelmed as a wife, woman, mom etc.. and also how I managed with my whole household of kids. She is a very close friend, so I know she knows I really don't manage most of the time, but it's sweet that she added that to make me feel good.<br />
<br />
I thought about this conundrum of feeling overwhelmed all the time and yet always ending up unprepared for what comes next. I reassured her that I am in the same boat, but also shared a few ideas that have helped me in the past. As I did this, a blog mini-series was born into my mind and I quickly threw down the clean laundry I was folding and rushed to the computer to get the thoughts out before they disappeared into the abyss that is my future. (In my mind I sang the new Frozen song, "Into the Unknown" as I wrote this line. I'm telling you so you're not alone.)<br />
<br />
So without further ado I present to you the Nosy Nellie series (apologies to my cousin, I promise this doesn't refer to you, I just needed the alliteration because well...it's alliteration.) Each Nosy Nellie post will focus on something in my life that overwhelms me or something from your life that overwhelms you (if you write a note in my comments, and I read it, and I have anything to offer on the subject. So basically, we'll see how that works out.) Complete with unaltered photos, I'll allow you to be nosy and peak into my life (heck you can even see my medicine cabinet if you really want to) as I share brutally honest info on what works and what doesn't for me and my family of 5 kids, 2 extra adults and a zoo full of furry animals. I say brutally honest, because I have gotten some comments (and considered some blog posts) on how nothing phases me, or how easy I make things seem and other lovely things that people say that make me want to shake them physically back into reality. I do not have it all together, but I do have the ability to keep moving on with my life and to find the bright side. It's fun that it means I can sometimes bamboozle (fun word alert) my adoring public into thinking that means I've got it all together. Sorry men (and by men I mean my Dad, because he may be the only male who reads this blog) but this series will be rather mom world centric, although I'm open to hearing your male struggles as well.<br />
<br />
Without further ado (there's been enough of that already) let's brainstorm together and get our whine on!<br />
<br />
My first suggestion to my friend was to make a list of what feels so overwhelming. I find that this allows me to let some things go and chill out a bit and also allows me to make plans, that I won't follow through with, for the rest. I blame it on parenting, nothing works for more than a few months. After that your pesky kids catch on and then you've got to think of new ways to wade through the chaos.<br />
<br />
Here's a recent list for me:<br />
<br />
- kids bedroom floors are never picked up<br />
- main floor of house is never clean enough for guests to come unexpectedly<br />
- i hate cooking<br />
- i hate putting away laundry<br />
- if it wasn't for me all our animals would be dead<br />
- the garage, just so much about the garage<br />
- doctors appts<br />
- the unending piles of paperwork<br />
- finding time for me stuff<br />
<br />
I'll give this a day or two to see if I get any facebook, texts, or comment responses of topics you'd all like to tackle. Depending on what I hear and how overwhelmed I feel :) we'll jump right in to what's going on. As promised, here's a first photo (it's altered though, because b&w seemed cooler in the moment) of my overwhelmed face and a pile of ridiculousness next to my computer that I haven't fixed for the past week.<br />
<br />
Aloha Internet, I'm Baaaaaaaaack!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqUwn5gAvEFJn6JkTbY_9tlOUzcW6vm87OwpMUGQX5sIX59UjPvndoT8LHAe-cnWwAEAm-4TwNDe9_yX281XHFFifrzc0mrwmnGe1ocAWYbQo0uCHDt6lrUxPJ8VM41h67qrVJI2fAEmJ9/s1600/IMG_20191205_171232.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqUwn5gAvEFJn6JkTbY_9tlOUzcW6vm87OwpMUGQX5sIX59UjPvndoT8LHAe-cnWwAEAm-4TwNDe9_yX281XHFFifrzc0mrwmnGe1ocAWYbQo0uCHDt6lrUxPJ8VM41h67qrVJI2fAEmJ9/s640/IMG_20191205_171232.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18331396042178335800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7942553385279927098.post-54132903248823586222018-03-02T03:18:00.002-08:002018-03-02T11:49:26.663-08:00SleuthingYou guys, I am so on it!<br>
<br>
I have a herd of wily, inventively deceptive people living under the same roof as me that think they can pull the wool over my eyes. But when it comes to moms, we always know.<br>
<br>
**DO NOT share stories of all the stuff you got away with as a kid!**<br>
<br>
I said don't.<br>
<br>
I'm not listening.<br>
<br>
Lalalalalalalalalala.<br>
<br>
I can't hear you.<br>
<br>
Let me have this.<br>
<br>
Tonite I received an email from my web protection software thanking me for my feedback. My feedback read, "<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small; white-space: pre-wrap;">will you give me a password to unblock k9 i forgot mine and my email was hacked and stolen </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small; white-space: pre-wrap;">help plz" </span>Sounds just like me right? The kid who wrote this is not winning at life right now.<br>
<br>
Sleuthing is becoming my main activity as a parent these days. It's all day long, following clues, sniffing out perpetrators, and unearthing my findings, Hercule Poirot style, with a long winded explanation and pointed J'accuse! Did they not get the memo that I'm the "cool mom" they can talk to and never have to hide stuff from?<br>
<br>
Really, it's exhausting and I wish they'd just stop already. After tonites debacle I calmly explained that they weren't going to win this war on the technology battlefront. I'm not afraid to say it, I'm smarter than them. With the power of google and mom brains combined I've unearthed incognito web searches, secret chat room conversations, and the likes of which I will not sully this blog with descriptions of. All in the past few months. And this is not new, it just recently became more pervasive. And yet they keep trying. Points for perseverance I guess? Plus, they always seem to forget, I have an ace up my sleeve because my dearly devoted brilliant husband writes programs for computers! Anything google can't explain to me, he can. My resources are limitless. Still, they persisted.<br>
<br>
It's not just in the ever evolving technology world that I'm called upon to utilize my Miss Marple like attention to detail. I frequently find myself running down the dirty details of who didn't flush, who ate the last tortilla and who let the dog out. I take it all on headfirst, filled with the vim and vigor that only the righteous can attain. I'm thinking of either starting to sport a monocle or buying a spy glass, can't decide which is more becoming... But it's time to let the world know that I may ver ywell be the next Sherlock Holmes.<br>
<br>
They say you should play brain games to keep your mind young. At they rate they're putting me through this, my mind will NEVER EVER age. Or it's completely gone already, time will tell.<br>
<br>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvuLn-V7ATWozdeNCp-B7UpV7927zLo9-UnY7yvRYieL_co_1Dg5yF4lInMxxHLnv2JdCCKLkGVDI3-ddAtQy3MhUPj2hsfqK45IwVg0uW-xX8G_FjLMtmZhoyO2kh4tw8gaYwkKpI53SS/s1600/deceive-1299043_960_720.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="960" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvuLn-V7ATWozdeNCp-B7UpV7927zLo9-UnY7yvRYieL_co_1Dg5yF4lInMxxHLnv2JdCCKLkGVDI3-ddAtQy3MhUPj2hsfqK45IwVg0uW-xX8G_FjLMtmZhoyO2kh4tw8gaYwkKpI53SS/s640/deceive-1299043_960_720.png" width="640"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">this image was copied from https://pixabay.com/en/deceive-deception-lies-1299043/<br><br><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: 12.8px;">p.s. Mostly unrelated but you should probably know that the collective noun for a group of bears is a sleuth. I couldn't use that title and not share my fun fact. Mod Ohana has me knee deep in fun animal facts these days :)</span></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<pre style="background-color: white; color: #222222; padding-left: 10px; padding-right: 10px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">
</span></pre>
Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18331396042178335800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7942553385279927098.post-48032899131177859142018-02-23T14:26:00.002-08:002018-02-23T14:26:35.436-08:00Marching to the top of laundry mountainI always hear people refer to their "mountain of laundry" and it makes me think of the Backyardigans song "Dragon Mountain." This is the link in case you're hard up for entertainment: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsH6QN_JJT4<br />
I'm a bit of a Backyardigans geek and I turn lots of my life into parodies of their songs. File that under things you probably didn't need/want to know about me.<br />
<br />
Anyways... back to laundry mountain. It's insurmountable. It somehow manages to grow no matter how many loads you do. It'd a never ending enigma that can ruin you every time you're forced to look at it or deal with it. It's literally days and days of your life gone as you slave away at it.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgklrwR5OgXuESUEj_Qn1pG8D26AKswReu6LBOvm-93M8URKAxDyn7ALkKSzLVYVNHnNqk6ojjaLsfK8FDQE2Z4RHU72LOyeV_rJW93rpjxJl5gQlHEZEuUARh8V20JAnFssADxaKTNCw97/s1600/laundry.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1199" data-original-width="1200" height="319" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgklrwR5OgXuESUEj_Qn1pG8D26AKswReu6LBOvm-93M8URKAxDyn7ALkKSzLVYVNHnNqk6ojjaLsfK8FDQE2Z4RHU72LOyeV_rJW93rpjxJl5gQlHEZEuUARh8V20JAnFssADxaKTNCw97/s320/laundry.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Taken from https://i.pinimg.com/originals/3e/91/81/3e91812f4f0ecd35ef78895bae433d14.jpg</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Or so I thought.<br />
<br />
I used to have a laundry day every week where I'd do as much as I could, be overwhelmed by the idea of putting it all away and then try to forget about it til the next week. Then, I created a laundry system that consisted of 6 laundry sorters in my laundry room, several laundry baskets for transporting clean laundry and 2 laundry bins upstairs to collect dirty clothes. I switched to it several years ago and it took my laundry problem from insurmountable to merely never ending. I thought I had it mastered, as much as you could master laundry. Every day I (or one of my kids) put a load into the washer, moved a load into the dryer, and took the load in the dryer out to be folded and put away. With this method, the laundry stayed contained to the sorters(mostly) so it was organized chaos, and though the laundry wasn't always put away, we weren't completely running out of anything. I slowly started to realize that when I felt the need to buy clothes I should do the laundry first and see if I really needed it or if it was just out of sight, out of mind. Basically, my laundry routine started to have very adult like tendencies. Good stuff right?<br />
<br />
Wrong.<br />
<br />
I'm going to write another post about how I discovered the solution to the great laundry conundrum, but in a nutshell, it was "less clothes equals less laundry." I read this over and over in facebook posts during the past year as I was waging my personal battle with minimalism. A lot of times the post came with questions and doubters saying that you wear the same amount of clothes so your amount of laundry doesn't change if you have less clothes, you just have to do laundry more often. I sort of agreed with this for the first few months and laundry wasn't even on my minimalism radar yet. As I reached the halfway point in my year of minimalism, I was really starting to see change in my life, and things were getting easier, so I started to think about other stuff that needed to be minimalized. Laundry kept appearing as a passing thought, but not a legitimate concern, after all I had it under control right?<br />
<br />
Then we reached the last part of the year and decided that we were going to move and sell our house. All the last little minimalizing things that had been gnawing away at the back of my brain now had to be confronted immediately. All year I had been getting rid of clothes bit by bit, for both myself and my kids, but I hadn't really seen much difference. So, I made my most brutal cuts yet. My kids all had to go down to what would fit in a suitcase and I had to make my clothes not just fit in my closet but look nice (i.e. have some space or room to grow, like in a magazine picture.) The initial difference was remarkable. We quickly got better about putting our clothes away because there was more room to do so, it wasn't a stressful jigsaw puzzle of how to make it all fit. I found myself more excited than ever to pick out outfits because I could see them all (and I have always had a bit of a love affair with my clothes.)<br />
<br />
The real amazement has happened in the last 2 months. We can't have laundry piles, filled laundry baskets in our rooms or even 6 completely filled laundry sorters in the laundry room. Although it is contained, it doesn't look (or sometimes smell) nice when people are viewing our home. We kept up our schedule of the once a day laundry cycle 6 days a week (Tuesday is my moms day to do her laundry) and quickly found that we were only needing 3 or 4 of the laundry sorters at a time. A laundry basket broke and we were down to two for folding and transporting clean laundry. We've found that we now actually need only one. Amazing how that works when you put the laundry away immediately. It's reached a point where now, even with washing our bedding, curtains etc... weekly (we have allergy issues that require this) we run out of laundry to do in just 4 or 5 days and have to search for something to wash. As all of our clothes now spend more time living in our closets and drawers, and less of their life living in our laundry room, we're carefully continuing to cull and if we want something new to come in, something old goes out.<br />
<br />
It's an amazingly freeing thing to be out from under the spell of the laundry beast. It really came down to a little organization, a little follow through, and a lot less clothes. We're not doing capsule wardrobes, or flylady schedules or anything fancy. I never even read the actual Allie Cassaza blogs on laundry, just the comments about it that less clothes equals less laundry.<br />
<br />
Who would have guessed.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHnoEQCdBDSubRztRvlT5Gu7dVIKGr9Xhkp0KPdfRRirXLp_wcm8VuuJkdSwEHnbq_xVb-hvyY7SIk0tPWZC-0x_fqBPp8jFJHy2FnJXqipbQ_UO2NzUXKWBJudLcKaGHkUPyglBXEqPyH/s1600/funny-laundry-meme-4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="400" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHnoEQCdBDSubRztRvlT5Gu7dVIKGr9Xhkp0KPdfRRirXLp_wcm8VuuJkdSwEHnbq_xVb-hvyY7SIk0tPWZC-0x_fqBPp8jFJHy2FnJXqipbQ_UO2NzUXKWBJudLcKaGHkUPyglBXEqPyH/s320/funny-laundry-meme-4.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Taken from http://www.thecoersfamily.com/family-closet/</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
P.S. In case you want the nitty gritty details:<br />
<br />
15 minutes: It is Curly's chore to switch the laundry everyday and bring me the basket of clean clothes. He empties the upstairs laundry bins once a week when he's run out of downstairs laundry to do.<br />
<br />
20 minutes: I fold them and put away the adult clothes and household laundry (towels etc..)<br />
<br />
10 minutes: Each kid (even the 4 year old) takes their pile (if they have one) and puts it away.<br />
<br />
<br />Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18331396042178335800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7942553385279927098.post-55480751287392452542018-01-05T23:12:00.000-08:002018-01-05T23:12:39.856-08:00First Post Since September?!?!?!Wow!<br />
<br />
A friend asked me today if I'd been blogging about what I've been up to lately and I responded, "Not in a month or two, but lots of thoughts brewing."<br />
<br />
These words were swimming in my head and just wouldn't drown out so I had to log in and check when I last posted. It was September. September?!?!<br />
<br />
It only took me a moment of looking at my blog post listings to see why.<br />
<br />
I've been living a secret life.<br />
<br />
There, I said it. Now you know. I am your real life Clark Kent.<br />
<br />
I wish. It's nothing as glamorous as saving the world in my very own lycra one piece that I'm mysteriously always wearing under my clothes without anyone noticing. (you guys, the chafing would be unreal!!) I do look good in fake glasses though so that means I can't rule out my life going in this direction in the future.<br />
<br />
The reality of my secret life can be seen as soon as you view my blog post listings. It is filled with <span style="color: #b45f06; font-style: italic;">Draft </span>notifications. That is a true to life depiction of the word that practically shouted at me when I opened up my blog website today. Each of those drafts represents a secret. A story I needed to tell but didn't feel that I had permission to. It's so messy how our lives get all entwined with others.<br />
<br />
Ewww, am I right. I may live on an island, but I am not one. My island is overflowing, in good and bad ways. I still haven't figured out how to share without the fear of what these people will think and feel about my words.<br />
<br />
So, before I begin to tell you about where my life is now (and there's so much to say!), I feel that I need to fill you in on where my life has been this past year. It's a little dark and unfunny at times, but thank you sweet Lord Jesus for helping me make light of everything.<br />
<br />
Here goes. **sound of bandaid ripping off** This is a small selection of last years secrets. Some I can share in their entirety, some are going to get a very broad overview. I spoke to the people involved to determine what level of sharing was acceptable and this is what we came up with together.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-style: italic;">D</span><span style="color: #b45f06; font-style: italic;">raft - Living With A Child That You Can't Help - March 2017</span><br />
<div dir="ltr">
<i>Everyday you wake up and wonder, will today be a good day or a bad day?</i><br />
<i><br /></i></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<i>You mentally go over your schedule and plan an out for every activity just in case you need it.</i></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<i>You tread lightly as you wake them or check with them for the first time that day. You don't want to be the one who sets them off. You pray every day that you can be their safe space.</i><br />
<i><br /></i></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<i>Every grunt, sigh or groan they utter is immediately analyzed. Was it a normal teenage sigh? Was that groan the beginning of an anger shit storm? Does that grunt you heard from the other room mean they're hurting themselves or someone else?</i><br />
<i><br /></i></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<i>As the day rolls along you get caught up in it and feel you can breathe more normally. You look around your house or your family and feel that familiar love, joy or contentment. Then you realize you can't see him. You mentally retrace to when you last saw them. You're racing through your brain in an uncontrollable frenzy, while on the outside maintaining the best semblance of calm that you can, as you quick step through the house looking for them. Sometimes they just got caught up reading in the bathroom, sometimes their hiding under covers and cowering, scared of themselves.</i><br />
<i><br /></i></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<i>Every time they don't feel well you question whether they're faking, whether it's the meds or whether it's a common cold. You doubt yourself and feel you can't provide the care a mother's supposed to give her child. Whatever you choose will be the wrong choice. You're supposed to be 2 steps ahead but you always fail to see what's right around the corner.</i><br />
<i><br /></i></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<i>Something triggers them and you search frantically for the source so you can protect them from it. Sometimes there is no source other than the paranoia in their own brain. Sometimes you're the source. It all feels insurmountable.</i><br />
<i><br /></i></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<i>You watch them spiral and struggle to give them space as they grasp and fight to regain control. They ask to take a bath. Your first thought is yes! What a great way to calm down and feel better. As they head into the bathroom though you quietly put your ear to the door and hover. They saw a movie today where a kid tried to drown himself in a bathtub. Are they trying to copycat? You casually call out, "how's it going in there?" and try to hide the tremor in your voice.</i><br />
<i><br /></i></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<i>You read another book, join another online support group and comb the internet one more time looking for answers, quick fixes, commiseration, understanding. You never find quite what you need.</i></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<i>It's their story to tell, not yours. You can't describe your struggle without theirs. When you finally confide, it's usually met with well intended judgement. People say it's typical teenage behavior, that they're manipulating you or that they just don't see it, your child seems fine to them. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>It all feels so alone but you go to bed with hope. Today they fought against it and won. They're still around to fight another day. Maybe tomorrow will be the day they find a magical cure or God performs a miracle. </i><i>You turn off the light and climb into bed. Some nights you unburden your worries and fears on your partner, other nights you avoid it because you see the pain it causes. You will your mind to calm down and rest. You get up one last time to check in on them. They look peaceful and calm in their sleep and you feel like a crazy person. Maybe your just imagining it all. Seeing them calm helps your mind get the message to chill out and you drift off to sleep amazed at the ebb and flow of emotion that comes with each day in the life of a child with a mental illness.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
**When talking with the child from this story about the possibility of sharing, he initially said no way. We talked more and decided that for now I need to leave his stories as drafts until they are resolved. Only then can I share in the hopes that maybe it will help others with similar struggles. I assured him that's its mostly my side of the story. He says he never wants to read these posts. We both may have cried, but I cannot confirm this, reputations may be at stake if I do.<br />
<br />
This post is from when he first started self-harming. It was a very scary period. We sought help and through a powerful mix of God, support, medication and therapy things have gotten a lot better. He gets up everyday and fights through the negative thoughts that he can't control and strives to be the amazing brother, son and friend that we all know and love. Our relationship has grown so much closer through this process, that's something I'll always have mental illness to thank for. Other than that it kind of sucks.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-style: italic;">D</span><span style="color: #b45f06; font-style: italic;">raft - </span><span style="color: #b45f06;"><i>1st day of foster care - May 2017</i></span><br />
<div dir="ltr">
<i>I'm sitting and watching my sons swim during my first truly free moment of our first day providing temporary guardianship for a girl that I flew across the United States to get.</i></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<i>I've spent the first 1/2 of practice glancing at my son's occasionally as I put most of my focus into googling 1st time foster care. I read a lot of good suggestions and one that stuck was, document everything.</i></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<i>That brings me to now and writing this blog that I will never post. These unposted blogs help me get out feelings that I can't share or remember things that get lost in my turbulent life.</i></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<i>This girl is amazing. The journey of bringing her to my family was a turbulent one. She's an incredibly bright girl who seems to love everyone and everything. She has an infectious laugh and a very healthy dose of curiosity.</i></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<i>That being said, there are things that I'll be praying over and working on with her. She's incredibly independent. I mean that in an unsafe way. She doesn't stay with me when we're walking and she wanders the house alone and gets what she wants. She doesn't seem to have a concept of asking for things and being in a group.</i></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<i>When you correct her she tends to go completely blank faced or sometimes (especially if she's tired) you'll see her whole body shake or she'll whimper. She is going to need an extra kind tone and lots of reminders.</i></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<i>She says whatever is on her mind, and it's often inappropriate or unknowingly unkind. She is extremely appreciative of anything we give her and willingly shares everything. </i></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<i>She is insistent on trying to call our littlest monster her sister and on reminding me that her mom is far away.</i></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<i>We're so thrilled to have her here and excited to get to know her better and learn how we can best help her in her journey.</i></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div dir="ltr">
**She's been living with us for almost 8 months now. Our agreement is to keep her for a year and then she goes back to her mom as long as all the conditions have been met. It's been a crazy rollercoaster adding a new person into our family and living everyday with the temporariness of it all. We'll know soon what is next for her. Her mom is doing well and trying hard. She is torn between 2 families that she loves and we are torn between wanting to keep her with us and wanting her to be with her mom who loves her dearly. Its a messy messy thing. I always thought I wanted to adopt or foster, but this whole situation has changed me. I find that I struggle daily to make sure I love her as much as my other children, treat them all fairly and to give her what she needs rather than what she wants. This has been a secret that you know if you're around us because you get to meet her, but not one for the world at large. The story is too big, the reasons are too long, and once again, it's not just my story to tell.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-style: italic;">D</span><span style="color: #b45f06; font-style: italic;">raft - Downward Spiral - May 2018</span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<i>Much like the Trump presidency, I feel I am witnessing the beginning of another downward spiral.</i></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<i>We've had 3 almost blissful weeks. You couldn't ruffle the kids feathers if you tried. He zoomed through months worth of schoolwork in days. He happily participated, planned and attended activities. He started wanting to make plans with friends. He got his first ever state swim time.</i></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<i>Then today he was up way to early. I knew it meant he hadn't slept well, but I tried to ignore it. We went to the gym and he had no goals. I saw him muddle through his workout and worried that he seemed off.</i></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<i>Throughout the day he checked in with me, notes of panic in his voice and eyes, double and triple checking what we were doing, at what times. Rehashing plans and seemingly grasping for control. I told myself I was overreacting.</i></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<i>He begged to go to the store with me. Now I know he was probably having one of his panic attacks where he needs an adult. At the time I couldn't figure out why he suddenly needed to go to Costco. My son, the finder, couldn't find basic groceries or figure out where we were in the store. It was like he was in a daze. I've never seen him like that. Ever.</i></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<i>Later <u>hi</u>s friends came over and I watched him withdraw. He tried to take a bath while they were still at our house in an attempt to escape. Long bathroom breaks, grunting replies and grinding teeth should have made things clear, but still I pushed him.</i></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<i>It's the end of the school year. He has days left to finish up schoolwork and get everything turned in. He hid schoolwork from me and knowingly failed tests, sure signs that things aren't well with him. By the time my husband made it home I was sure. I asked him to talk to our son, I was getting yelled at every time I tried. My husband didn't get it. He talked to him and played a game with him. The quality one on one time calmed our son but it didn't change the underlying unrest.</i></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<i>Finally, it's 10pm and he's crying and saying he doesn't know what's wrong. Everything feels fuzzy and he can't concentrate. He agrees to email his counselor after I promise he doesn't have to go to school if things are still bad tomorrow.</i></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<i>But here's the thing, what if things are still bad tomorrow? I'm not sure I can handle another one of his spirals. I'm now responsible for 4 other children and it's not fair how this affects them. I don't have an action plan. I don't know who to call or what to do. I don't know if it was just a bad day or the beginning of his next downward spiral. I'm terrified of tomorrow and finding out. I'm going to feel awful either way. I can't imagine how he feels. I just want him to be okay. He didn't ask for this. He doesn't deserve this. He needs a chance to just be a kid.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>**</i>This got scarier before it got better. He started hearing voices and getting extremely paranoid. We ended up changing his medication and everything improved. The thing that had helped save him months before was tearing him up. This one has been a big hurdle to get over. It's left him feeling crazy, his words, not mine. We all try to explain that medication did this to him, not his brain, not the disease, but it's left him feeling not in control and that's made him more guarded. There have been a lot of good months and he's made it through the bad ones like the champion that he is. But, it's hard to share. It's a big looming secret that doesn't have a lot of funny to it. I'm glad we've come to an agreement about ways that I can share, it feels like a weight off my shoulders.<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
</div>
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-style: italic;">D</span><span style="color: #b45f06; font-style: italic;">raft - It's not going how I thought it would go - all of 2017</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-style: italic;"><br /></span>
**This one was all about my mom. She's been living with my family for almost 2 years now and I almost never say a word about her in the blogging world. There's a million funny stories and a million frustrating ones revolving around having her here with us. But, I still remain worried that she'll take something that I say wrong, we have very different senses of humor. For now these stories will remain drafts, until one day she reads them and okays them or she dies and I write it all as a memoir and pray that she can laugh about it all in heaven. For now just know that living with my mom is not going how I thought that it would go. She had another stroke this past summer and I was reminded that that is why she is here. So that we're close by during these emergency situations. She recovered amazingly well, the only side affect was a reminder to me that I need and want to keep her close by no matter what. That being said, she is ready for some independence and so am I. We are actively looking for housing for her where she can remain nearby but we can all gain a little space and perspective. I think it will make us all appreciate each other more. If not, than we're not very good people.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-style: italic;">D</span><span style="color: #b45f06; font-style: italic;">raft - Health woes have me like whoa! - September through December 2017</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-style: italic;"><br /></span>
** This was not the actual title, there were just a bunch of unfinished blog posts relating to my health. After my moms stroke, her doctor told me that my sisters and I needed to go get checked for a hereditary lipid disorder. The disorder lies at the heart of my moms medical problems and there was a chance that we might have it. It's a silent disease, you don't see the symptoms of plugged arteries, strokes and other problems until it's too late to fix them. I called my sisters and told them to get checked. I did not get checked. It took me several months to work up the courage to even make the appointment and then I had to wait almost 4 weeks before I went. It was agonizing and I had myself convinced that I was dying. As it turns out, I ended up finding a great doctor who was very kind to me as she explained that I was extremely overweight and ordered a million blood tests to check for the disorder. The results came in and the numbers weren't good. She instructed me to make some big lifestyle changes and to get rechecked in 3 months to see what the changes had done to the numbers. I thought she had explained that we wouldn't know if I had high numbers because I was fat or because of the disorder. I went back to see her 2 months later for something unrelated and discovered that I technically had the disorder whether I was fat or not. I was not prepared for this. I still had another month to go until I could recheck my numbers. I fell into a mental black hole as I tried to reassure myself that I wouldn't have strokes in my 50's, that I'd be able to walk and hike with my grandkids. My powers of persuasion were not strong. But...the lifestyle changes worked wonders. I dropped over 400 points off my triglyceride levels. They are still way too high, but I got into a respectable range for someone with the disorder. It means the lifestyle changes are going to be permanent and I'll have to get checked regularly, but I'm down 30lbs from when this all started and I am confident that I am doing everything I can to be as healthy as I can be, I hope it's enough, but worrying won't change anything. My family, especially my husband, have been insanely supportive as I've changed how we eat, the time I need to exercise, and on us all focusing on living healthier. I t just felt like a woe is me blog post every time I tried to say something so I never finished my thoughts or clicked post as the story unfolded last year.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-style: italic;">D</span><span style="color: #b45f06; font-style: italic;">raft - The Big Move - September through December 2017</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-style: italic;"><br /></span>
** Once again, this subject never warranted fully written posts because you can tell the internet world things until you've handled it all in the real world. People get very touchy about this stuff. Last year, my husband and I began entertaining the idea of moving from the island that we've lived together on for the last 17 years. We've talked about moving A LOT over the course of our marriage, but there are always insurmountable hurdles of one type or another that keep us here. This time was different. Everything kept coming up roses no matter how much we tried to find weeds. And so that brings us to the last, but not least secret, we are moving to Colorado Springs, Colorado in May 2018. There will be lots more to come on this subject but for now it feels good to get it out in the open. It was too many months of whispering behind closed doors and worrying about the sadness of the wonderful people that we're leaving behind. Now it's a new year with a new focus on the greatest adventure our family has yet to experience, moving across the country as a family of 7 with a dog, a mom and a sister in tow. Life is good.<br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-style: italic;"><br /></span>Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18331396042178335800noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7942553385279927098.post-86467041635833132052017-09-05T13:25:00.000-07:002017-09-05T13:25:01.490-07:00Tears<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4sL_8YQZiFiHuQTgL_fTr56JI8MA9U9OfeEF7kLnp0_9-RAYyQfiDqmSz3Novht2-h_Gbx7QLjO2f0S9r1rXP0mFSZuHXIBJAPrF0VrqR8rdTf3lEIhMmab1ZDmxt54tb-FM77bc0maVh/s1600/97115a98a2fa78873a64f80759620f0d.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="820" data-original-width="1024" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4sL_8YQZiFiHuQTgL_fTr56JI8MA9U9OfeEF7kLnp0_9-RAYyQfiDqmSz3Novht2-h_Gbx7QLjO2f0S9r1rXP0mFSZuHXIBJAPrF0VrqR8rdTf3lEIhMmab1ZDmxt54tb-FM77bc0maVh/s320/97115a98a2fa78873a64f80759620f0d.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
It starts like the slow drip of a faucet. Every once in awhile you wipe away the wetness discreetly. Maybe it's allergies. Something in your eye perhaps? You start to sniffle. What is going on?<br />
<br />
You soon find yourself covertly wiping at your eyes and making the skin at the edges raw in a fierce attempt to hold the water back, to not let anyone see. It's too obvious to hide at this point, so now you agonize over what to say. Do you lie and say you got makeup in your eye? You mentally debate if you brought tissues and if you can slyly search your purse for them.<br />
<br />
Here's the worst part about it, you really have no idea why the tears are there. It's embarrassingly ridiculous. That about sums up my life sometimes.<br />
<br />
I never used to cry. I was one tough cookie. Funerals, sad movies, pain, nothing could touch me. My nickname should have been Stoic. Then I had kids and something inside me was unleashed. My faucet was permanently broken.<br />
<br />
But the leak is very situational. I still rarely cry at standard issue crying moments. Nope, instead I make things weird. You see, I've always struggled with authority. Police, doctors, dentists, teachers, they're a bit hard for me to summon the strength to talk to. But...being so Stoic, I can generally muster up the courage, put on my brave face and push through when the need arises.<br />
<br />
Now, there's nothing left to muster and no face brave enough, I'm just a mess. I walk into the parent teacher conference with a running mental mantra, "Stay calm, don't cry." Doesn't matter if the news is good, bad or inconsequential, the tears will flow and I'll be trying to say it's fine whilst looking like my dog just died.<br />
<br />
Lord help the policeman that pulls me over. Again, doesn't matter if it's a sobriety checkpoint (I don't drink, so no worries there) or if I was speeding. I'm instantly flustered, constantly bumbling and moments away from full on waterworks. Needless to say, I have never received a ticket, maybe in this instance the tears work in my favor?<br />
<br />
The dentist moments are extra ridiculous for two reasons. One, I can't wipe the tears because there are a million hands and contraptions all around my face, blocking me from erasing the evidence of my silent stream of shame. Two, it really freaks out the dentist because they think they're hurting me. I probably have really weird notes in my file about my crying problem, but they still always have to check, because, I mean, what if they were hurting me?<br />
<br />
Finally, the doctors office. I just left there. I saw a doctor for the first time and there were clearly no notes in my file to indicate my tearitis conditions. I could feel them trying to burst out before I got into the exam room. As we sat and talked I tried a hundred different things to occupy my mind and body in the hopes that I could trick myself into staying calm. I almost did it. The first 20 minutes it wasn't more than a leaky faucet, I could have blamed it on my makeup easily. But as soon as she was ready to finish the appointment I could no longer hold it in. I made a beeline for the worlds scratchiest paper towels from the medical dispenser on the wall. Then it was awkward. She couldn't leave me like that and I couldn't explain. I recomposed myself as best as I could and hightailed it out of there. On the way home I berated my addled brain for doing this to me and tried to make myself sob to get it all out. Apparently that's not how it works and the body has a seemingly endless supply of tears.<br />
<br />
So now you know. I worry about how<br />
flawless I come across on a daily basis. I mean, my seeming perfection might make you feel bad about yourself right? So sharing this is my way of bringing things back down to earth. Don't worry, I have a lot more weird stuff that we haven't even begun to broach yet. The time will come. Anybody else out there have a weird struggle like this?Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18331396042178335800noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7942553385279927098.post-5617942917435321002017-05-14T10:48:00.001-07:002017-05-14T10:48:50.838-07:00A Mothers Day Homage<p dir="ltr">I was at a funeral recently where it struck me (again) that it seems sad to leave a eulogy for someone's funeral. People should get to hear the wonderful, funny and not-so-wonderful things that we, as their loved ones, have to say about them.</p>
<p dir="ltr">So, I googled eulogies and found a lot of how to guides for writing them, as well as debates on if they should be glowing or realistic. Then I googled eulogies for the living and found the word homage. Apparently that's what we should be doing to let the living know that we think they're great. Google noted that an homage is usually for when a person has received an award or is retiring, but I think it might be good for people to get them a little more often than that.</p>
<p dir="ltr">So without further ado, this is my Mother's Day homage (now that I know it's inappropriate to use the word eulogy for this sort of thing as long as the person is still alive.)</p>
<p dir="ltr">Dottie Istre has been my mom for 35 years. There's a lot more to who she is than just being my mom, but it's my pervue, so it's the focus of this homage.</p>
<p dir="ltr">She would argue that she stopped really being my mom when I became an adult but I regularly try to convince her that moms are forever and we always need them. You're welcome to try and convince her too, because so far I'm not winning this battle.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I'm the second in a line of 4 girls. That means she was a mom before I came along, but I wasn't there so I can't attest to her earliest mothering skills. I came along in the middle of the coldest blizzard that January had ever seen. My grandpa was teaching himself to crochet to stay busy in the waiting room with my older sister while my mom was busily attending to the business of pushing out a 10lb baby. She bred big babies.</p>
<p dir="ltr">All was successful and I came out with all my fingers and toes. I can't tell you much about those early years, baby brains and all that, but I'm pretty sure she did a great job, since it seems like any nastiness would have stuck with me.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Not long after I was born, our little family made the move to Kalispell, MT. We began life there in a big rented house uptown. My mom managed to keep our household afloat through a series of tragedies. My dad's temporary blindness, my older sister breaking her leg, my younger sister splitting her chin open and the arrival of my youngest sister (not that she was a tragedy, she was a blessing.) </p>
<p dir="ltr">Back then, she was still deciding what kind of parent she would be. She would try out different parenting styles. She and I went through a battle of the wills at that time. I was a horrifically stubborn and indignant child. She tried to get me to eat food, I mean she really really tried. I wasn't having it. She would send me upstairs to time out when I had disobeyed and I had to do things my way so I would only go to the top of the steps, never to my room where I'd been sent. She had such a level head as we endured these battles, I never remember her raising her voice at me as I worked my hardest to push all of her buttons. She seemed to love me through every bump I forced her to endure.</p>
<p dir="ltr">We moved outside of town to the Evergreen area just prior to me starting preschool. It was a very small apartment, in a very small apartment complex, where we all shared one small long skinny yard. It was directly across the creek from my grandparents house. </p>
<p dir="ltr">My mom kept her cool as she got my sister to school, me on the bus to preschool, handled the 2 little ones at home, and volunteered with our church. She allowed us a lot of freedom to explore and we felt the world around us was magical at that age. There was never much money, I know that now, but you never would have guessed it as a child growing up in my family. She made every birthday special and holidays were filled with family time. </p>
<p dir="ltr">We didn't stay in that apartment for a long time. According to my hazy preschooler memory, it was a little over a year. Then we moved into my grandparents basement temporarily while my parents were figuring things out. My sisters and I loved it, but I now know what a challenge it must have been for my mom. It's hard to ask for help and in her efforts to keep things separate etc... we lived like we were camping so as not to intrude on my grandparents life as much as possible. We were in close quarters during this time and I only remember order and quirky solutions to daily conundrums. No yelling, crying or frustration. If I had been the adult, this wouldn't have been the case. But that was my mother throughout my young life, stalwart, loving and filled with ingenuity and resourcefulness.</p>
<p dir="ltr">A few other bumps in the road occurred and brought my family to the place where we would purchase a yellow trailer with brown trim and place it on my grandparents property. This would be my home until I left for college. My mom would spend countless hours working to make this a home for our family.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Now that we'd finally settled, or maybe because I was a little older, I remember a much more complex mom during this time. I was in elementary school and I discovered that most mom's took their kids to school and picked them up after school. Not my mom. She had the hardest time waking up in the mornings. She would stay up all hours of the night, get up in the morning to help us get ready for school, and go straight back to bed for the rest of the morning. It's something she still struggles with today. She likes to say that her schedule runs opposite of everyone else's. She was also on a permanent diet. There was always some new eating plan to try, and we weren't included in it. She made her food separate from ours and we all knew that we were never to touch her diet Coke, some things are sacred.</p>
<p dir="ltr">My sisters and I filled life with challenges for my mom during the next few years. She met each one head on as she helped us navigate schoolwork, cultivated a love of reading in each of us and showcased her creativity as she regaled us with magical made up stories and read us The Chronicles of Narnia series with all the vim and vigor that she could muster.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I learned more from her during this time that any other. She showed me that you don't need money to solve problems, that everything can be researched and understood and showed me the value of hard work. She worked diligently with my grandpa on a garden that ran the entire length of our trailer. A lot of food came from this garden and we all helped here and there. But it was her love and passion. She was up every day working on it, checking on it, harvesting it, and caring for it throughout each spring and summer.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Reality had to hit at some point. I do remember my mom yelling during this time in our lives. It was usually related to chores that we weren't doing. She would rearrange rooms regularly as a way to get things clean, you never knew what to expect when you walked in our front door. She would draw out plans on graph paper and create a map to follow of how she wanted things to be. She always had ideas for how to make something that would make our lives easier or prettier. These ideas would go on my dad's and Grandpa's to do lists or we'd come home from school to find her like a whirlwind, whipping through a project that only she could envision. </p>
<p dir="ltr">My grandpa passed away when I was in 8th grade. He was my mom's best friend, she was his youngest child, and they had a very special relationship. From that point on my mom made it her mission to take care of my grandma as well as the four of us girls. It meant that she took a big step back in our lives as she worked to find her new balance. I think this was probably a very hard time for her.</p>
<p dir="ltr">As my sister's and I got older and started heading to college my mom let us forge our own paths, as long as they didn't spark her infamous "bad feelings." If my mom had a bad feeling about something, it wasn't going to happen, no matter how much you begged, pleaded or rationalized. That bad feeling was rarely every wrong and saved us from quite a few scrapes. I chose my college this way. My mom's bad feeling about my top choice led me to my second choice, where I met my husband and started a life here in Hawaii.</p>
<p dir="ltr">My mom poured herself into my grandma. She usually made my sister's and I check in on her daily, I think they got frustrated with each other sometimes and it helped them have breaks. She took her to all of her appointment's, shopping and wherever else she wanted to go. She completed to do lists, that my grandma would create, of ideas she had and things to be done. She memorized all her medications and preemptively knew when she'd want to go see a friend or invite family over.</p>
<p dir="ltr">In turn, my grandma helped our family immensely. She financially covered gaps and pitfalls and she hosted every holiday. I loved our family holidays. I miss our family holidays. Everything felt special, everyone felt loved and the focus was always on being together.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Then I went to college across the Pacific Ocean. As I mentioned earlier, my mom thinks motherhood changes at this point, which it probably does to some degree.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Over my years in Hawaii she would come to visit me. She was here for some of my most important moments, like when I got engaged and when my sons were born. She came and helped me as I began life as a new mother. Her role was definitely redefined as she became my support. Her support role holds true especially when it comes to prayer. My mom is a prayer warrior. She prays often and she prays fiercely. She helped me learn the importance of prayer and see how it brings us together in celebration and  support.</p>
<p dir="ltr">My mom weathered her mom passing away and moving out of that trailer that we'd lived in so long, and into uncertain rentals that wouldn't feel quite like home. She had a stroke and was diagnosed with a degenerative disease. She endured a brutal divorce and fought to find herself and support herself.  There were some very dark times where I wondered if I had lost my mom. But slowly she began to reemerge.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Her declining health, at the age of 62, brings us to the here and now. We just passed the one year mark of her coming to live with me. I get to support her and drive her to appointments in the same way I watched her support her mom when I was growing up. </p>
<p dir="ltr">She now has the opportunity to build relationships with her Hawaii grandchildren. I'm so excited for them to get to know my creative, hard working mom who is filled with ingenuity and God's love. She has a lot to share and a chance to rest and recover alongside a family that loves her. It does my heart good to have her here. We don't always get along now as we figure out this new life together. But we both are sticking it out and making it work. I don't say enough nice things to her so this is part one of my efforts to do that more.</p>
<p dir="ltr">My sisters, and other friends and family, may have different memories or perspectives on my mom so far. I'm not infallible and I'm sure I didn't get it all right. But I know that we can all agree that she love the Lord and she loves us and she always will. Being a mother is only one part of who she was and is, but it's the part that made me, so it's my favorite.</p>
Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18331396042178335800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7942553385279927098.post-79453312479719846722017-05-10T21:55:00.001-07:002017-05-10T21:55:46.149-07:00The joys of being a know it all<p dir="ltr">The other day I found myself discussing know-it-alls versus wise-asses, (bet you wish you came to our Sunday family dinners!) The discussion ended with my sister being the know-it-all who has an intensely real need to impart knowledge. My husband was labeled the wise-ass who imparts knowledge only if he knows it will screw with someone. I appeared to be a name caller in this situation as I inadvertently gave this conversation legs and labelled them each as such. </p>
<p dir="ltr">But I did it with a smile on my face, so it's all okay.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Cut to a few days later, and I found myself sharing knowledge on a topic that I had no personal experience with. I was basically regurgitating Google. My audience was in awe and lauded my expertise. I did not correct them. </p>
<p dir="ltr">I think I'm the actual know-it-all.</p>
<p dir="ltr">This theory was cemented tonite when I attended a trivia night in my hometown. When I knew the answer, I found that I couldn't just give it, I needed to share every detail of my life that added up to me knowing that fact in that moment. There was real pride in my voice when I confidently announced that vanilla comes from an orchid plant.</p>
<p dir="ltr">When I didn't know the trivia answer, I had to give a run down of everything that went wrong in my life, leading me to the place I was now at where I didn't have the answer needed. There was real shame and devastation.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Guys, I think I truly love the sound of my own voice. I cannot shut up. A vow of silence would do me in. No one asked me for all of this information.</p>
<p dir="ltr">And so I now know that I am a know-it-all. I have an intense desire, almost a need, to devour as much information as I can. You never know when its going to be useful that you read the instructions manual for a handheld 1976 blender from cover to cover. The backs of restaurant menus can be informational gold mines. Don't forget to read the fine print on those prescription medication commercials (because they're funny, the information is kind of useless.) Heck, I stay at the end of the movie and read the credits. Why? </p>
<p dir="ltr">Because I'm a know-it-all.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Don't believe me? Ask me about it. As long as you have a couple free hours we can sit down and I'll prove it to you.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Now that I know, l'll see what I can do about it. It may not be the world's most desirable trait that I've acquired. <u>I</u>'ll see what I can do to mitigate my responses, but in the meantime, you've been warned.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I have a lot of knowledge that needs to be shared with the world. And it mostly came from the backs of restaurant menus.</p>
Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18331396042178335800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7942553385279927098.post-39074786489735016852017-04-20T23:54:00.001-07:002017-04-20T23:54:55.994-07:00The elusive teenager in its natural habitat<p dir="ltr">I am one month away from being the mother of 2 teenagers. Our story is just beginning and it already has so many parts to it. Some parts are funny, many are ridiculous, some are sad and at least one smells.</p>
<p dir="ltr">You see, the moodiness of the modern teenager is not something to be trifled with. You can make a trifle for them but you better ask discreetly and not give it to them in front of other people in case it somehow embarrassed them to be loved and cared for in this manner.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Every day must begin gingerly. You approach the wild teenager with extreme caution to gauge if today will be a good day or a plague day. Don't trust anything that you thought you knew about your child, a good day can turn on you in an instant. Hypervigilance while giving the illusion of aloofness is key. </p>
<p dir="ltr">If it's a plague day, you, your ideas and even the cat will be treated as though you have been infected and must be avoided at all cost. I recommend lots of prayer on these days. Actually, I recommend lots of prayer everyday.</p>
<p dir="ltr">This covers the basics that I've discovered so far. But let's not forget some of the oft overlooked details of the day. The flip flop, the sneak attack and the dictionary will all make appearances in your daily life as a teenage zookeeper.</p>
<p dir="ltr">The flip flop moments can be identified by smell or by bathroom time. Teenagers have no middle ground, they are either unabashed stinkers who seem to lack the olfactory senses to realize why so many of us bathe and deodorize daily. Or they lack the olfactory and common senses to understand that less is more when it comes to cologne, hair gel and general grooming time. Flip flop moments are unpredictable, one day the stench has you frantically searching to find the onions that must be hidden somewhere and the next day the primping and preening time turns you into a screaming banshee as you try to get your kids out the door. I offer no advice to you parents of flip floppers, only my commiseration.</p>
<p dir="ltr">The sneak attack is as heart warming as it is unnerving. It's the random and inexplicable hugs, snuggles and kind words. You don't know where they came from and you probably never will. Sneak attack make you want to hold them close and cherish them,  it you know this action could end sneak attacks forever so you choose your moments carefully. In the midst of your elation you worry, somewhere deep down, that it might mean something really bad is coming. Ignore this feeling. It won't help either way. Take them for what they are in the moment, try not to overthink these sneak attacks. Thankfulness is key. But make sure it's silent thankfulness. If they sense that you appreciate it in any way it may never happen again.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Finally, the dictionary that is stuck on repeat. They will find a word or phrase and it will begin to appear everywhere. It often starts as cute or witty. Sometimes it's even eloquent. Sometimes they say "creamy poop" every time you try and talk to them. It will quickly take a turn and the constant use of it will cause you to rethink your views on <u>c</u>apitol punishment. Just as you think that the good Lord has answered your prayers and made the word or phrase disappear, a new one will appear. These dictionary moments will last longer than you want but when they're gone, experts tell me that you'll miss them.</p>
<p dir="ltr">As a matter of fact, experts tell me you'll miss all of it when this season of life is over. So dig in your heels and prepare for the ride of your life. Rumor has it teenagers are worth it in the end.</p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7sUOzPh64drG9VQIxN7w0RjpH49JMAPQuhQAmwA1jnoO02i8J8-YwAPjIS5pIzMouGVwKIKzmPlFuKrdXC5AA9Dd1ddhwK0QAPHXDzwskpxgCAlHGikABhjvRAPh-DfNFswY8sTciYg8n/s1600/1492757481437.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7sUOzPh64drG9VQIxN7w0RjpH49JMAPQuhQAmwA1jnoO02i8J8-YwAPjIS5pIzMouGVwKIKzmPlFuKrdXC5AA9Dd1ddhwK0QAPHXDzwskpxgCAlHGikABhjvRAPh-DfNFswY8sTciYg8n/s640/1492757481437.jpg"> </a> </div>Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18331396042178335800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7942553385279927098.post-39042124910268639172017-03-30T18:34:00.001-07:002017-03-30T18:34:47.558-07:00Choosing laughter<p dir="ltr">I was reminded  by a couple of good friends today that there is a lot of laughter to be found when our world is spiralling.</p>
<p dir="ltr">This was yesterday's spiral.</p>
<p dir="ltr">It all began at 12:15pm. I'm sure it actually started the moment I got up, I am a hot mess, but this time sticks in my mind because it's when I looked at the clock and realized I screwed up.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Nana had to be at the doctor in 15 minutes. The doctor was 10 minutes away. I have a 3 year old. Times the 4, carry the 2 and all to the power of 5. Let's a face it, the math wasn't looking good. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Cue screaming down the stairs at the toddler to put their shoes on and hoping Nana heard that too because you don't have time to run downstairs and tell them in person. Gather the 12 year old that makes poor choices and can't be home alone, very against his will, and explain that he'll be doing schoolwork in the car today. Grab your purse as they all begin to file out the door and then notice to white fur balls barking and jumping at the door.</p>
<p dir="ltr">That's right, you're dog sitting for a few hours. Oops, forgot about that didn't you?</p>
<p dir="ltr">Scoop them up and throw them in the truck (gently of course) and squeal your tires as you race down the driveway.</p>
<p dir="ltr">You're on the road taking deep breaths and attempting to chill the heck out. She'll only be a few minutes late. Then she drops the bomb. "Oh, my appointment is at 1:30."</p>
<p dir="ltr">Say what now?!?!??!</p>
<p dir="ltr">Quick mental math tells you that by the time you go home, let the dogs pee, handle the toddler tantrum that you didn't go where you said you were going, and finally remove surly tweenager from the vehicle it will be time to load them all right back up. </p>
<p dir="ltr">And so you persevere.</p>
<p dir="ltr">But not without unleashing a slew of things that you can't take back and will regret.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Why is the time different? Why can't people communicate? Why doesn't anyone want to try and help you? Why can't people help themselves. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Of course your choice words lead to their choice words and you find out that you challenged them by asking the time for the appointment, you told them the electronic calendar malfunction was fixed and you always yell at them for bothering the kids during school time so that's why they can't come and talk to you.</p>
<p dir="ltr">That was a lot of phenomenal cosmic yelling in an itty bitty truck cab space. My super hero name today should be counterproductive woman.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Oh well, apologies all around. Nana arrives at the doctor. Now it's time to sit and waste be wise the math doesn't add up. Drive home + unload + gas prices + reload + mommy sanity = might as well sit and wait.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Not everyone agrees. The dogs whimper or bark at everyone that walks by the truck. The tweenager can't read the Iliad with all the dog noise. Toddler needs everything in her life to be different.</p>
<p dir="ltr">McDonalds it is. So much for the healthy eating, less spending goal. Plain cheeseburgers and cold sodas fix this moment, albeit temporarily. There goes the gas cost savings, literally right out the drive through window. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Drive around long enough to lull the dogs into complacency and you can park again. Tweenager finishes the Iliad. Toddler needs to stop asking questions or you cannot be friends anymore. You let her use Snapchat in an effort at peace and quiet. The dogs don't like Snapchat. They're back to whimpering and barking intermittently, it's very unsettling.</p>
<p dir="ltr">The doctor appointment goes long. It's now been 2.5 hours since you last saw the outside of your vehicle. There may have been some poor planning and poor choices made. Just as you're beginning to think this McDonalds scented cab is your new forever home, Nana appears.</p>
<p dir="ltr">You check in to see how the appointment went. She tries to give you an appointment card for the next time. You unleash the fury of a thousand angry squirrels as you explain that you want communication and your online calendar not an appointment card. You sound and look like a surly toddler stomping her feet. Everyone quietly (and maybe a little scaredly) sits still for the final five minutes of the ride home.</p>
<p dir="ltr">The dogs, children and Nana scatter like delinquents when the cops show up and you stand and wonder how life got this way. Oh well, back to life right?</p>
<p dir="ltr">You look down at your phone and see the time, 3:30, and run in yelling at the toddler to get her shoes on, it's time for swim practice.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Here we go again.</p>
Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18331396042178335800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7942553385279927098.post-49730088325207621292017-03-19T19:10:00.001-07:002017-03-19T19:10:21.512-07:00So much to say!!!<p dir="ltr">This subject weighs super heavy on me. It eats away at my soul bit by bit. I'm forced to face it everyday and it continues to get more and more challenging.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Kids and Technology.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I've read the blogs. Followed the guidelines. Seen the news. I know we live in a different world nowadays. But even with all the advice that the internet has offered me, I still just don't know what to do. It all feels hopeless.</p>
<p dir="ltr">When is the appropriate time for a child to get a cell phone? I think, and hope, that need is the primary factor here. Are they away from you for significant periods of time with no other way to contact you? Then maybe it's time. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Why are they away from you for significant periods of time with no way to contact you? Did you send them on a walkabout or is it because our country has abolished pay phones from the face of the earth? If it's because they're 16 or older, you get a pass. Your kids should be away from you for significant periods of time, and it is the government's fault that you don't have payphones available.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Okay, need established. Now what type of phone do you get them? No kid needs a smartphone. Phones are for calling and texting, that is their purpose (she says as she writes a blog on her smartphone hypocritically.) But if you don't get them one, they will not be the cool kid. Scarred for life. Or so society tells us. Somehow we've come to believe that our kids need a $700 piece of technology that has a 75% chance of breaking within the first month (hope you got the insurance) and 100% chance of being outdated within 2 years. Or, maybe you're in this to save money. A flip phone and a tablet seem silly when a smartphone could do it all in one conveniently overpriced device ( thats why I have one:)) </p>
<p dir="ltr">A smartphone, tablet, iPod etc... opens your child to the entire world! That's pretty amazing, as well as amazingly terrifying. I think it's wonderful that you have the one kid in existence who doesn't come to crave the instant gratification of receiving a text, or experience the thrill of constantly checking for new notifications. It's even more wonderful that your child respects you enough to always follow the guidelines you gave them for when they can use it, and what's appropriate. Sadly, I think a lot of our kids are not the same way. </p>
<p dir="ltr">I think a lot of our kids get bullied or are bullies. I think a lot are sleep deprived from staring at the glowing screen waiting for the notification that never came. I think many children have found addictive games, pornography and foul things that their precious eyes cannot unsee. I think these things are happening through the lens of their personal electronics. I'm not saying shelter your kids, but I am saying a certain maturity level may be required to handle our technological world. If they really need/want technology, couldn't we share our devices til they've proven themselves worthy of this grandiose prize?</p>
<p dir="ltr">Now, off my scary technology soapbox and on to my social query soapbox. Can your child function without technology? I'm asking because when my child invites them to play, they bring it along. Their personal technology device, meant for one person, is brought along when they hang out with friends. Is it in case my kid isn't fun enough? I'm slightly baffled as to why your child wants to play on his phone while sitting on my couch. Isn't it the same as when he's on his couch? Is it because I have air conditioning? Is your child setup for the lifetime of social interactions that will need to occur without technology in hand? Because they don't even look up from the screen when they're talking to me.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Do I sound pretentious enough yet? Well, here's the laughable part, my kids are crawling with technology. Even my 3 year old has a phone (of sorts). But I'm finding their technology use frightening. My 10 year old asked to play a video game in the car today. We were going to the grocery store 2 minutes down the road. He sounded desperate. The game wouldn't have even loaded in that time (I didn't say they have quality technology). One of my 12 year olds snuck away from his own slumber party to watch YouTubers play video games (his real friends were in his house playing real video games at the time). My 3 boys go to a school with Technology Academy in the name. My husband is a software engineer, creating technology is his job.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I say all this just to get it off my chest. Kids and technology pisses me off. Now let me tell you what I've learned and what I'm doing to regain some sanity.</p>
<p dir="ltr">No personal devices (tablets, ds, iPod etc...) They have computers for school so they have access to things they both need and want online. I've found that they cannot control themselves with personal devices. They're either on it all the time or they haven't even charged it for 2 weeks. Either scenario is a waste. Personal devices are also too easy to hide what they're doing and where they're doing it. If your kid has a personal device, please keep it that way. I don't enjoy it when they share it with my kid.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Phones. My 12 year olds have had them for almost a year. My 10 year old and 3 year old have old phones of ours that don't have service but can make calls via WiFi. They all pretty much exist so that we can play Pokemon GO as a family. I am way overpaying for this service. The phones must sit on a centrally located charger at home and they are not allowed to put any app on the phone without parental permission. They should be for emergencies. They are not. It's sad. Don't buy your kids a phone unless you have to.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Gaming systems. I'm actually a fan of these. It's a way for multiple kids to enjoy technology together. It's in a centrally located area and can easily have set time limits. I still like the trampoline more, but gaming systems are pretty okay. But, I'm not a fan of that being the only thing your kid wants to do when he comes to my house to hang out. We have a lot of cool **it.</p>
<p dir="ltr">After today, here's what I'm I going to do. I'm​ setting up a technology drop box at my house asap. From now on you'll be asked to leave the ball and chain there (yes this goes for adults too. No I'm not referring to putting your wife in the box.) and forced to enjoy the lovely company of the many people that live in my home when you come visit. If you need that personal screen time, feel free to leave. (Jumped right back on my high horse didn't I?) Okay, okay, I will allow calls and texts, after all that is a phones purpose.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Rant over for now. I like technology, I swear I do. I just don't know how it fits with kids who are exploring boundaries and learning how our society works.</p>
<p dir="ltr">P.S. I didn't even touch on this, but <u>i</u>f anyone can explain the zombie like affect that the television causes, I'd love to learn more. I let the 3 year old watch trolls this morning and managed to mesmerize 8 different 10-12 year old boys to the point that they could not move or respond. Infomercials seem to work equally well. What's up with that?</p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnOv-eJfTrp03NiwGBZ4Zm5AlEadHTdnmdIJyt6fO9zA4z9hpbsGbr4NCg9tvvwrlVbnxIFMOM4Ovo-g4EVwKk0PDG9Oxk_atPdIg_eVbAU24YS2F_zuFbBNP2stkfFe7TIeg6JupR17ZZ/s1600/1489975746235.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnOv-eJfTrp03NiwGBZ4Zm5AlEadHTdnmdIJyt6fO9zA4z9hpbsGbr4NCg9tvvwrlVbnxIFMOM4Ovo-g4EVwKk0PDG9Oxk_atPdIg_eVbAU24YS2F_zuFbBNP2stkfFe7TIeg6JupR17ZZ/s640/1489975746235.jpg"> </a> </div>Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18331396042178335800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7942553385279927098.post-4558633738123364962017-02-23T22:26:00.001-08:002017-02-24T12:53:48.916-08:00Lazy bones<p dir="ltr">Last week I found myself explaining to my children that when we say we can't do something, it's often that we don't want to do that something. Let's face it, in the Google driven world that we live in, everything is learnable.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I drove the point home with a lovely anecdote about mowing the lawn. For the first 6 or 7 years of my marriage my husband had the chore of mowing the lawn. I told myself, and anyone else who would listen, that I didn't know how to use a lawnmower so he was stuck with the job. I just couldn't do it.</p>
<p dir="ltr">As time went on I noticed that he seemed sick after mowing the lawn. I also noticed that my oldest son seemed sick every time the lawn was mowed (allergies are a formidable foe). More time went on and I realized I was regularly feeling annoyed that the lawn wasn't being mowed often enough. These things finally led me to my Aha! moment where I realized that I didn't want to mow the lawn. After this it took very little time to learn how to mow the lawn (although I've broken like 3 mowers in the time I've been in charge of this chore). I remind myself of this story every time I say (or think, silently and belligerently) I can't.</p>
<p dir="ltr">This week, I found myself having a conversation with my mom about managing her health. We were discussing how important it is to balance exercise and healthy eating as well as pushing ourselves and sticking to a plan even when you're not seeing results. She mentioned that a nutritionist wasn't helpful because she already knows what foods to eat and what amounts are healthy. This conversation went around in loops for a long time and sent my mind churning.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Who am I to talk about healthy eating or living? I'm easily 100 pounds over a "healthy weight" for my height. I was in the same boat, I know the foods to eat and avoid and the exercises to do. Whatever questions I have can be answered by Google. Yet my head is full of "I can't" excuses. Realistically, I like donuts and soda enough to choose them over losing weight.</p>
<p dir="ltr">All this brought me to a place where I got my lazy bones to the gym at 10 o clock at night and this morning found myself on the exercise bike at 7am while I checked my Facebook page. This week I'm turning my "can't find time to exercise" into I will find time to exercise." </p>
<p dir="ltr">How do we manage to let the "I don't want to" attitude rule our lives? How can we overcome this and set a "can do" example for our children? I'm going to start tackling more of my I don't want to moments head on and see where it takes me. I have a bad feeling it might lead me to more chores and trying gross food. But... It could also lead to something amazing, only time will tell.</p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMS3-SoQs2JMu_tSE2O1UDQhsakRqW-sxXF8uvOKMSnG5ZA4OAvkTDZN6fVUM-R-00xYeeC4c5WKwQup0GTVeLcrg1XEGEP0LnMmdEfmRQl66f7DGxXXpB3S5McQmxIAWYdYWrUC8rOCxM/s1600/1487969555234.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMS3-SoQs2JMu_tSE2O1UDQhsakRqW-sxXF8uvOKMSnG5ZA4OAvkTDZN6fVUM-R-00xYeeC4c5WKwQup0GTVeLcrg1XEGEP0LnMmdEfmRQl66f7DGxXXpB3S5McQmxIAWYdYWrUC8rOCxM/s640/1487969555234.jpg"> </a> </div>Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18331396042178335800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7942553385279927098.post-11865216261787257822017-01-05T08:00:00.000-08:002017-01-05T08:00:26.699-08:00The questioner<div dir="ltr">
I found this in my blog draft folder and decided to finish it off and send it out to cyber world. My little darling is done with this phase now, but it seems worth noting for posterity.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I'm sitting in my car waiting for another kid to finish another activity. </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
As I sit and type this I praise the Lord and rejoice that my sweet Larry came along and is talking to our sweet baby girl because she NEVER STOPS TALKING.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I love her and I'm so happy she found her voice, but why does she have to ask WHY?? 1,000 times a day?!</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<i><b>Baby:</b> </i>Where are we going?</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<b>Me:</b> To Costco.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<i><b>Baby:</b></i> Why?</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<b>Me:</b> To buy food.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<i><b>Baby:</b></i> Why we need food?</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<b>Me:</b> So we don't starve.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<i><b>Baby: </b></i>Why we don't want to starve?</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<b>Me:</b> Because we would die.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<i><b>Baby:</b></i> Like the cat? She was a girl cat and she died and now we have a boy cat. You call him Oh Maui and I call him BB-8.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<b>Me:</b> The cat didn't die from starving.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<i><b>Baby:</b></i> What the cat died from?</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<b>Me:</b> I don't know.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<i><b>Baby:</b></i> Why you don't know?</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<b>Me:</b> Because I'm not God.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<i><b>Baby:</b></i> Why you not God?</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<b>Me:</b> Because I'm you're mom.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<i><b>Baby:</b></i> Why?</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<b>Me:</b> Why not?</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
This goes on for hours every day. </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
If it's not why, her other 2 favorite talking points are what we eat for meals and grocery lists.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
She likes to pretend call our family to ask them what they're eating and to make up things that she's eating that I would never let her have.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<b><i>**Sample Conversation**</i></b></div>
<div dir="ltr">
HI daddy, what you doin?</div>
<div dir="ltr">
What you eat for breakfast?</div>
<div dir="ltr">
Eggs or apples daddy, which one?</div>
<div dir="ltr">
Which one?!</div>
<div dir="ltr">
Why you not answer me?!?!</div>
<div dir="ltr">
Well, I had donuts and coffee and sprinkles.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
Bye daddy, call me after lunch.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Please keep in mind that these are pretend conversations with herself. She is getting mad at herself for not answering.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Finally, her lists. She grabs something to write with and proceeds to make lists and read them to you.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<i><b>Baby: </b></i>You want to go to Target? I going to Target. I'll bring the money. We'll get bananas, bandaids, dresses, stickers, red cheese, pancakes, milk, baby milk and beer. What you need mommy?</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<b>Me: </b>I think we need bread, you could put that on the list.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<b style="font-style: italic;">Baby: </b>No one eats bread. Need anything else?</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<b>Me: </b>No.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<b style="font-style: italic;">Baby: </b>K, bye!</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
She then attempts to leave our house on our own and kicks and screams when I point out that her shopping needs to be pretend. She also brings her scribbled drawing lists to the store when we go and gets frustrated when I can't immediately read the list of made up items written in scribbles and loops of nothing.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I don't think you can win with toddlers.</div>
Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18331396042178335800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7942553385279927098.post-38638971244429381632017-01-04T18:41:00.001-08:002017-01-04T18:41:05.878-08:00This me has been 35 years in the making.In honor of my upcoming day where I become a year older, I am going to list for you the things that make me a grown up. It's taken a lot to get me where I am today (cliche much?)<br />
<br />
1. I get excited about going to the home improvement store<br />
<br />
2. I've kept the same favorite color for more than a year<br />
<br />
3. Developed a "look", but don't ask me to define it<br />
<br />
4. Organized my home, and reorganized, and reorganized<br />
<br />
5. Have kids old enough to talk back<br />
<br />
6. Need to wear sunscreen daily<br />
<br />
7. Own control top everything<br />
<br />
8. Think elastic waistband is a phrase sent from heaven<br />
<br />
9. Developed new tastes, I eat things like spaghetti sauce and tacos now<br />
<br />
10.Get back aches<br />
<br />
11. Say things my parents used to say<br />
<br />
12. Have a mortgage<br />
<br />
13. Google things like meal planners and angry 7 yr olds<br />
<br />
14. Like to be in bed by 10pm. Who am I kidding? Make that 8pm.<br />
<br />
15. Can no longer pull off quirky or cute when wearing a superhero bandaid<br />
<br />
16. Purchased my own furniture<br />
<br />
17. Make my own doctor appointments, but really wish someone else would do it for me<br />
<br />
18. Plan vacations, meticulously, with coupons<br />
<br />
19. Rock out to folk music<br />
<br />
20. Get called ma'am or auntie<br />
<br />
21. Have to google words like Bae to see what they mean<br />
<br />
22. Know Bae is an outdated "what kids are saying" reference but not cool enough to know anything newer<br />
<br />
23. Read parent reviews before going to the movies<br />
<br />
24. Get excited about using coupons<br />
<br />
25. Feel a need to do chores before fun stuff, get frustrated with the inner battle, and take a nap instead<br />
<br />
26. Tell my kids stories of "when I was younger..."<br />
<br />
27. Where sunglasses because I need to and not because they look cool (but I still look cool)<br />
<br />
28. Know when trash pickup days are<br />
<br />
29. Have serious misgivings about jumping on a trampoline<br />
<br />
30. Know where everything is located at the drugstore without needing to look at the signs<br />
<br />
31. Get excited when it's quiet in my house<br />
<br />
32. Own "practical shoes"<br />
<br />
33. Use phrases like "me time"<br />
<br />
34. Going to jail instead of time out if I break the rules (but I don't break rules)<br />
<br />
35. Think about other people before myself, at least the majority of the time<br />
<br />
<br />
Lists are fun :) I think next years will be on all the reasons I'm still young!Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18331396042178335800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7942553385279927098.post-52060768595466726792016-11-16T15:29:00.002-08:002016-11-16T15:29:32.740-08:00Tis the Season!It's happened.<br />
<br />
The holiday season is upon us.<br />
<br />
I've done a lot of thinking about what this holiday season will be like for my family, here's what I have so far:<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Step 1:</span></b> Intense slave driving, with prolonged periods of yelling and punishments, to ensure that my children finish their schoolwork in a peremptory manner so as not to put a damper on the actual holiday days. This course of action will put a damper on every other day, but I'm out of better ideas. I've found that my children don't respond to candy bribes as well as they used to, I blame Halloween. If you can't use candy to get your kids to behave, yelling is all that's left.<br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Step 2:</span></b> Let my mother in law handle all things Thanksgiving related. This is key to my serenity and thankfully she seems to embrace this role. I will bring a turkey for my husband to help cook and probably some carrots. I will be deeply and eternally thankful that that is all that I will do. My son seems interested in learning the magic that makes the Thanksgiving meal happen. I will encourage Curly in his endeavors and give my full support. Some day he can be in charge of Thanksgiving dinner, for this I am also thankful. Mother-in-laws and kitchen loving sons are a true blessing from heaven.<br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Step 3:</span></b> Avoid Black Friday and go to a hotel. That's right, you heard the big news here first, I'm skipping the biggest shopping day of the year. I blame my sister and the internet. My sister is my partner in all Black Friday crimes and she's going on vacation like the highfalutin girl about town that she is. Then there's the internet. Do you know what you can buy on there? Literally, anything. I have completed most of my shopping plus a great deal of unnecessary shopping (thanks Facebook targeted ads, you know me too well!) online this year. It's probably best if the spending stops now.<br />
<br />
Oh what, you thought I was going to just skip over the hotel part? Unlikely. My husbands company had the good sense to book the annual Christmas Party at a wonderful resort with a killer employee deal encouraging us all to make a weekend of it. Consider me encouraged. 3 days and 2 nights of staycation bliss are headed my way next weekend. Bonus: It will probably cost the same as Black Friday usually does Double Bonus: We're counting it as part of the kids Christmas present. They seem fine with it. Can I get away with this every year?<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Step 4:</b> </span>Decoration. It's hard to feel festive without the right amount of tinsel. What is the right amount? Zero. I hate tinsel. But I do love Christmas decorations. The inside and outside of my humble abode will be festooned and lit up enough for even astronauts to benefit from their glow. It's always wonderful once it's up but terrible trying to get it all there. Day drinking may become the norm around here. Oaths may be uttered. It's all a part of the process.<br />
<br />
<b style="font-size: x-large;">Step 5: </b>Crafting. This is an essential part of any successful holiday season. At least it is in my manor. Curly is still saving for his school sponsored world travels so we've signed up for a craft fair in the hopes of accomplishing his fundraising goals and ridding my house of an overabundance of crafty goodness. In the course of the first week of December I will probably craft myself into oblivion while watching every Christmas movie ever made. This O.D. of holiday cheer will temporarily grinchify me, but it's nothing that eggnog or apple cider can't cure.<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Step 6: </span></b>Parties. We don't get invited to many, but this is probably a good thing. We're hosting one early which will mean frantic scrubbing, organizing, baking and hiding clutter in places we won't find until next Christmas. It's strategic to host, it means my family has to help me clean the house. A clean house means I have the possibility of not going completely bat crazy this holiday season.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Step 7: </b></span>The bliss. School will be out for several weeks. The house will be clean. Most regularly scheduled activities will be on break. My family and I will sit back and enjoy the fruits of all of our harried labors. There will be games. There will be food. There will be relaxation. This will become my mantra.<br />
<br />
God seems to have made the modern holiday season exactly to match my manic ways. I thrive on the scrambling exhaustion that leads to the unscheduled bliss. It gives me plenty of time to reflect on the wonder of his gift to our world and plenty of things to ask him for forgiveness about. Scramble times always have me saying or doing something that I'm not proud of. Thankfully he's a forgiving God. I like to think my misadventures give him a good laugh. We're friends like that.<br />
<br />
How's your holiday season looking?<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqwgfq2bUhl1yuX-s6e1gXDKqhAcp3ERIcAYlNZsCSxYNC2FOEboU5TVOyBz6ZrJbJ8hA-yY8ZdVE3Brwd9lAQl0TWzR1uSAChdj-l2apkDNXWESFzAW5GIkdC8rAIchrHzRJTioc3jCdE/s1600/20151210_174946.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqwgfq2bUhl1yuX-s6e1gXDKqhAcp3ERIcAYlNZsCSxYNC2FOEboU5TVOyBz6ZrJbJ8hA-yY8ZdVE3Brwd9lAQl0TWzR1uSAChdj-l2apkDNXWESFzAW5GIkdC8rAIchrHzRJTioc3jCdE/s320/20151210_174946.jpg" width="180" /></a></div>
<br />
Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18331396042178335800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7942553385279927098.post-6405731406534889412016-06-07T01:03:00.001-07:002016-06-07T01:03:26.636-07:00Fuming!<p dir="ltr">Well, they did it again. My charmingly adorable munchikins made mommy go ballistic.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Now I have to apologize. (Insert full on pouty face)</p>
<p dir="ltr">It's not really fair that I have to apologize, because it's ALL THEIR FAULT (insert foot stomp)</p>
<p dir="ltr">Tonight, out of the kindness of my heart, and the cheapness of my wallet, I offered to cut my boys hair. They deal was that they had to sweep up the hair into the dust pan when I was done. Easy peasy right?</p>
<p dir="ltr">Wrong. </p>
<p dir="ltr">First up was Larry. </p>
<p dir="ltr">His directions were, "Just cut it." </p>
<p dir="ltr">My questions were, "Do you want a style? Do you want it buzzed? Just one hair cut? What are you going for?"</p>
<p dir="ltr">He remained steadfast with, "just cut it, but not like, all the way."</p>
<p dir="ltr">I buzzed his head and told him to sweep up. </p>
<p dir="ltr">After convincing Moe to get a trim (but only if you use scissors mom!) I returned to the kitchen to find the hair in the trash and the first kid could be heard taking a shower. All seemed well.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Little did I know...</p>
<p dir="ltr">Moe wanted to keep his current hairstyle so it was to be "just a little off the edges." I did okay til I got to his cowlick. The back of his head now looks a like a miniature goat has been grazing in select patches. I figure it gives him character.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I tell Moe to sweep up. </p>
<p dir="ltr">He says he can't find the dust pan. I say Larry just used it so ask him. Moe finds Larry and comes back with the report that Larry cleaned up the hair on the floor with his hands. I yell at Moe to find a flippin dustpan now!</p>
<p dir="ltr">All still seemed moderately well...</p>
<p dir="ltr">I go find Curly and return to find the hair in the trash. Curly doesn't know how he wants his hair cut so I just go at it with the buzzer. It comes out lopsided so I comb it in that direction and pretend it was on purpose. </p>
<p dir="ltr">I then ask what he's been using to wash his hair because it does not feel very nice. </p>
<p dir="ltr">This is where things really begin to go downhill. He mumbles under his breath something about not being able to find soap.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Now I go ballistic as I begin to interrogate him on how long he's been going soap free and loudly exclaiming over the many places soap can be found in our house. I finalize my terrorist ways by going right in his face to explain that life as he knows it will end if he does not learn immediately that bathing requires soap and not just water.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I don't think this is what experts mean when they tell you to get down on their level.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I tell Curly to sweep up the hair and he says he can't find a dustpan. I explain that Moe just used it. Curly goes and finds Moe and then reports that Moe cleaned up the hair with his hands. I now go straight into Moes face and loudly explain that he will find a dustpan RIGHT NOW! </p>
<p dir="ltr">Did he learn nothing from Larry's mistake? Oh yeah, he learned that he could pick up hair with his hands :/</p>
<p dir="ltr">At this point I've completely lost it. A bizarre round robin style interrogation is set into motion that uncovers the fact that none of my 3 boys have been using soap for quite awhile and all of them think that water gets the job done just fine. We also uncover the ugly truth that when I say "sweep it into the dustpan" they hear "be as lazy as possible and try to avoid getting yelled at".</p>
<p dir="ltr">As I fume and spew my angry thoughts my 2 yr old flounces into the middle of the room and announces "Mommy, I love you the most." I quickly acknowledge her comment and return to my tirade. She quickly interrupts again, "and I love all my brothers because they're so special." </p>
<p dir="ltr">We should make her superhero name "The Diffuser."</p>
<p dir="ltr">It's hard to stay angry with this level of cuteness happening within inches of my anger cloud so I turn my focus to her. I kindly interrogate the 2 year old and have her briefly explain to her brothers</p>
<p dir="ltr">1. Where we keep the elusive soap</p>
<p dir="ltr">2. Where the soap goes on your body to make you clean</p>
<p dir="ltr">3. If you are allowed to bathe with water only.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Turns out she knows all of these answers and quickly schools my shamefaced sons. As the tirade nears an end, the floor gets swept (with the broom and dustpan which were put away where they belonged) and Curly yells from the bathroom, "I used shampoo and conditioner, are you proud of me?"</p>
<p dir="ltr">No Curly, no I'm not, because this is a basic expectation for your general <u>hygiene</u> that even the 2 year old can follow.</p>
<p dir="ltr">So yeah, I need to apologize, I really lost my cool there. But it wasn't all my fault.</p>
Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18331396042178335800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7942553385279927098.post-63475901860308690342016-05-30T11:33:00.001-07:002016-05-30T11:33:19.283-07:00My relationship with my bed<p dir="ltr">It's an intense relationship. There are not many objects, or people, that fill me with the longing, desire and need that hits me when I see or even think about my bed. This relatioshup is part of what makes bedtime at my house both magical and maniacal.</p>
<p dir="ltr">You see, I'm not one of those magical mom's. Heck, when it comes to bedtime, I'm not even a nice mom. I have no bedtime routine that I lovingly concocted. It basically comes down to this, when I say it's time for bed, I am saying exactly what I mean, for my children and myself, that it is time for bed.</p>
<p dir="ltr">With the 3 older boys time for bed means tell me 6 more times and might listen. Brush your teeth is a funny suggestion that will only be taken under advisement if we bought new toothpaste. If there's new toothpaste, it may get eaten. Pajamas are an antiquated notion beneath the likes of my boys. They're real men who sleep in the clothes they were wearing or strip down to their underwear (if they were wearing any, or if it's hot, or if they got cool new underwear). As they hang their heads and march down the stairs to their presumable doom, the dog and cat will run crazy circles around the upstairs as they realize they've been forgotten and must revel in their moment of stolen freedom in the oddest ways possible. I will yell from the top of the stairs that somebody better get the animals, because walking down the stairs or doing it myself is just too hard. The youngest will now reappear to see if he can finnagle his way into sleeping anywhere but his bed.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Let the begging, pleading, and whining begin in 5...4...3..2...1. He will suggest his sisters room "to help her sleep", the couch and even the bathtub. Some nights I will give in, most I will remain stalwart. Inevitably, he will be somewhere odd in the morning regardless of what I said last night.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I willfully ignore the older two that I can clearly hear doing battle downstairs in a feeble attempt to let them handle it amongst themselves. Or because Im lazy. They know not to come upstairs unless blood has been drawn. Things will work themselves out. </p>
<p dir="ltr">As the battle with the boys nears it's end I focus my intense need for sleep onto the littlest darling in our home. Thanks to some particularly clever bribing (tutu pajamas from Costco if she could go a whole week sleeping on her own) she now puts herself to bed. An almost 3 year old putting themselves to bed looks a little something like this:</p>
<p dir="ltr">(Each announcement is made while holding 1 finger in the air in an authoritative manner, picture that so you can really be in the moment with me)</p>
<p dir="ltr">"Okay mommy, I put on my jamas now!"</p>
<p dir="ltr">(Pitter patter run down the hall)<br>
(Emerge with dress up princess dress)</p>
<p dir="ltr">I silently shake my head</p>
<p dir="ltr">(Throw princess dress on floor, Pitter patter back to room and reemerge with snowsuit)</p>
<p dir="ltr">I silently shake my head</p>
<p dir="ltr">(Throw snowsuit on the floor and pitter patter back to room)</p>
<p dir="ltr">"I did it!"</p>
<p dir="ltr">(She reemerges in backwards, inside out pajamas, and it won't be obvious at first, but she is inevitably commando)</p>
<p dir="ltr">"Goodnite mommy!"</p>
<p dir="ltr">(She climbs into bed. 2 seconds later she reemerges.)</p>
<p dir="ltr">"I forgot to say goodnight to daddy!" Hmmm, maybe I forgot brothers too? Where's the dog? I need say nite to Leia! Where's the titty ( that's how she says kitty)?"</p>
<p dir="ltr">She now just stands in the middle of the hallway and yells, "goodnight everyone!"</p>
<p dir="ltr">(Scamper back to bed. Moments later we hear sobbing.)</p>
<p dir="ltr">"I forgot to brush my teef! Somebody help me!"</p>
<p dir="ltr">(Teeth get brushed. Which means lotion gets put on. Which means hair gets brushed. Which means everything from the bathroom counter can now be found on the bathroom floor. Back to bed.)</p>
<p dir="ltr">Now I can hear her reading to herself quietly, so I go to check on the rest of the house. Every light has been left on so that we can stand out as a beacon of hope if a midnight apocalypse occurs. I shut it down, along with any hopes of directing an alien landing party to my house. Somehow at least half these lights will turn on again throughout the night. Some night elf in my house appears to take the beacon thing very seriously.</p>
<p dir="ltr">My bed is calling to me with the sounds of a beautiful siren and I am lured into its trap. As soon as I lay down the pitter patter can be heard and a cherubim face framed by golden curls will appear in my doorway.</p>
<p dir="ltr">"I just need to tell you one more thing mommy. I love you the most!</p>
<p dir="ltr">Do you love me the most?</p>
<p dir="ltr">Mommy, why aren't you talking to me?</p>
<p dir="ltr">Mommy?</p>
<p dir="ltr">What we doing tomorrow. We go skating maybe?  I invite Grandma? Can I call Grandma? I love Grandma."</p>
<p dir="ltr">No honey, we're not going skating tomorrow. Goodnight.</p>
<p dir="ltr">"But is it dark out or light out? Let's check. It is dark out!!!! We should go to bed.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Goodnight mommy.</p>
<p dir="ltr">One more thing.</p>
<p dir="ltr">My favorite movies are Mickey Mouse, Ponies, Strawberry Shortcake, Avatar and Backyardigans.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Maybe I should watch one tonite?"</p>
<p dir="ltr">No.</p>
<p dir="ltr">"Otay, I'll watch it with daddy tomorrow. Is that a good idea? Yeah, thats a good idea. Goodnite mommy. I'm a big girl and I sleep aaaalllll by myself. Yep. That's why I have a tutu. And I'm 2 but I'll be 3 on my birthday. Is tomorrow my birthday mommy?"</p>
<p dir="ltr">No.</p>
<p dir="ltr">"Otay. First it's brothers birthday, then it's mine and next is Sophias! Alright! Goodnight mommy."</p>
<p dir="ltr">The silence will now end in 5...4...3...2...1.</p>
<p dir="ltr">"I'm firtsty!! Where's my cup? I'll get it. Don't help me mommy, I can do it. I found it! Can I have juice?"</p>
<p dir="ltr">No.</p>
<p dir="ltr">"Otay. Aaaaaahhhhh! I have to go potty RIGHT NOW! I need help. I spilleed my water. I can wipe. Did I brush my teef? Oh yeah, I did. Goodnite mommy."</p>
<p dir="ltr">She'll go back to her room and I'll lay in my room, tense, waiting for the next child to emerge with the next problem or conversation that has to happen immediately.</p>
<p dir="ltr">The barrage will eventually end and I'll make one last round to see where they all ended up, turn off the lights to extinguish the household beacon and finally, as I close my daughters door, I'll outwardly smile and inwardly cringe as I gaze at her, nightgown up in her armpits, full moon exposed, and vow that we'll start a bedtime routine tomorrow.</p>
<p dir="ltr">But for tonite, my bed is calling. It needs me and I need it. My pillows are fluffed and my blanket is waiting to comfort me with its softness. It's dark and it's quiet and I'm in one of my happiest places.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Goodnight. <br><br><br></p>
Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18331396042178335800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7942553385279927098.post-37811566290477564802016-05-13T14:39:00.001-07:002016-05-13T14:39:20.282-07:00Mothers DayHow do you feel about this holiday?<br />
<br />
I recently learned (thanks Flipboard app!) that it became an official holiday in the United States in 1914 thanks to Ann Jarvis of West Virginia. Her mother passed away in 1905 and Ann began campaigning at that time for a national holiday to celebrate Mothers. Woodrow Wilson is the president who finally signed it into law.<br />
<br />
And you thought it was a Hallmark holiday. Tsk, tsk.<br />
<br />
By 1920, Ann Jarvis was fed up with the commercialization of the holiday and spent the remainder of her life protesting and trying to get the law rescinded. One other notable fact in this holidays history is that both Ann and President Wilson were clear in their use of the word Mothers being a singular possessive referring to your mother only and not mothers around the world. Weirdly specific, right?<br />
<br />
Now that I've provided you with your history lesson for the week, let me share/rant about why this resonates with me. First, and foremost, I like that a daughter wanted this holiday to honor her mom. It's sweet. I'm unclear on why it needed to be a national holiday, but hey, a celebration is a celebration. Secondly, I love the specifics that it is to celebrate your mother only, I feel pretty passionate about this part, and also confused. Finally, the commercialization of it all is nonsense. In todays instamedia saturated world, it's just the worst.<br />
<br />
My Mothers Day this year was filled with facebook posts of moms being pampered and adored. I hope it made Ann feel good in her afterlife to see some of the results of her work. It generally made me feel junky that my kids had forgotten and were behaving like cretons. I may have allowed myself to wallow a bit. I did feel joy for others joy too, I promise. My favorite post was a friend who took a picture of her table. The picture showed 2 presents wrapped up on it with handmade cards (I think) and a pile of folded laundry. Her comment was something about how the presents were from her kids and the best present was that her husband had done all of the laundry and she felt loved. So sweet, and I think most definitely Ann Jarvis approved.<br />
<br />
That Facebook post is not how my Mothers Day ever goes. Don't get me wrong, my husband and children are wonderful, but this holiday does not make them appear so. I don't help matters. I always say I don't want anything or I just want a clean house, they don't believe me, and we all end up feeling weird about things. I have now officially asked my husband to strike Mothers Day from our family calendar and treat it like an average day. He's says I'm waving the white flag and giving up, I say I'm saving myself and it really will be better this way. I'm pretty sure he thinks it's some sort of convoluted guilt trap, I assure him it's not, we agree to disagree. Time will tell.<br />
<br />
This year I spent the bulk of my day getting angrier and angrier at a bowl. It wasn't healthy. Just so you don't report me to the authorities, I don't want to end up in a sanitorium like Ann, I'll give you some background. I let my kids sleep in the living room the night before. The only rule for this special treat is that you clean up the space in the morning. They did not follow this rule. No matter how many times I brought it up throughout the day, at least some of the mess would remain. The final straw was the popcorn bowl in the middle of my floor. It was always someone else's job and kept getting pushed aside until the sight of it just made me feel unloved and ignored and angry. Beware the power a bowl can hold!<br />
<br />
My husband tried to make things nice for me, but I didn't really allow it because I agree with Ann Jarvis and Woodrow Wilson. Mothers Day is a day to celebrate YOUR mother. I am not his mother. He should focus on her. I should focus on my mother. My kids should focus on me. Realistically, and logistically, this holiday wasn't very well thought out, it's very crowded sharing with all these people, and someone is bound to be let down. My husband offered to make me breakfast, an hour after I had made it myself. He announced he would handle lunch for everyone, just as I was taking the food off the stove that I had cooked for everyone. After getting my feelings hurt when I asked my son to go for a walk and he countered with, could we ride bikes instead (no! no we can't. because that's not what I asked to do on my freakin special day. Also my bike tire is flat.) My husband offered to go for a walk with me (he hates walks and he had just injured his knee which was swollen to 3x it's normal size). Bottom line though, he didn't need to do anything for me, his day should have been focused on his mom. My kids need to be capable of remembering and celebrating my amazingness all on their own (or with very slight prodding and prompting) for this holiday to even have a chance at success.<br />
<br />
Finally, the commercialization! Ann Jarvis wanted Mothers Day to be about remembrance. People were to wear a white carnation if their mother had died and a red carnation if they were still alive. She wanted children to give handwritten notes proclaiming their love and thankfulness towards their mothers. This idea quickly gave way to floral bouquets, boxes of candy, preprinted greeting cards with only a signature from the child and commericals pushing hundreds of products to buy for Mothers to show your love. Personally, I've had enough with all of it. My kids make me things, write me notes and give me presents whenever the mood strikes them (or someone tells them too). It's not usually something to brag to the world about but it melts my heart and makes me happy. I don't need a special day or a special gift to have this happen. The pressure is just too much. In the end, I just need them to grow up to be good people (and eventually be able to say nice things to me without being told to).<br />
<br />
Realistically, Mothers Day (and Fathers Day, but we could do a whole other post on that!) ends up being a day where you often just want a break from all that makes you a mother. That's kind of weird, right? Something has gone terribly wrong with this holiday. I want it to go back to carnation wearing and handwritten notes. If it can't be that, I just want a normal day. If I'm waving the white flag, so be it. I vow never to sit and stare angrily at the empty popcorn bowl, because it's supposed to be my special day and why can't they be nice to me and just listen for once, ever again. I'll still stare at it angrily when they ignore me as a I ask them to pick it up. I'm not perfect.<br />
<br />
No? Is it just me? You love Mother's Day and all it entails? I sincerely do hope that your Mothers Day was wonderful and that you felt loved all day long. I won't begrudge you your happiness, I promise :) Don't begrudge me my right to an average, normal, run of the mill sort of day either. Deal?Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18331396042178335800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7942553385279927098.post-59912969682439527582016-04-04T12:35:00.001-07:002016-04-04T12:35:04.337-07:00Out of Excuses<p dir="ltr">It finally happened, I got back in the exercise game. I flirted with the idea a year ago and made a challenge group, but it didn't really stick.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Almost 3 years ago, I had a baby so I stopped exercising. My exercise partner got stuck working full time so I had no one to go to the gym with. I hurt my foot last September and ended up in a rehab boot til my birthday. I went on trips in February and March so my schedule was off. I asked everyone I could think of, to go to the gym or walk with me, and they all smiled and said maybe or made plans with me and then had to cancel.</p>
<p dir="ltr">So many excuses.</p>
<p dir="ltr">My reality is that I do not put myself first. I have a to do list and anything on it that other people need done will get done first. So, unless I have that accountability of another person, exercise goes to the end of the list.</p>
<p dir="ltr">This past week I discovered that my children are people too! With this revelation, plus the fact that I make their schedules, I now had people to exercise with. Also my sister came with me a lot and I didn't tell my husband what I was doing, I just sort of left him with some kids in the early morning. This system seems to work.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I know it at least has a chance because today, no one woke up early to go with me, my sister missed her alarm, and I went and exercised ALL BY MYSELF!! </p>
<p dir="ltr">Wait, I lied. I took the dog. She's getting out of shape too and it made me feel like I was helping her out. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Now, before you all leap up into a standing ovation to celebrate my monumental accomplishments let me share the monumental benefits of daily exercise.</p>
<p dir="ltr">(I'm sharing these because I saw a video of what happens when you don't exercise today. Maybe I should have made a video of what happens when you do?) </p>
<p dir="ltr">Monumental benefits of increased exercise:<br>
- improved mood<br>
- increased exhaustion<br>
- clothes that fit better<br>
- way more laundry to do<br>
- impressive tan<br>
- way more showers<br>
- way less chores done<br>
- weight gain?<br>
- decreased appetite</p>
<p dir="ltr">Now you can give me that standing ovation.<br>
Or, call me and set up an exercise date, that might be better.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Let the adventures in exercise begin. As soon as I can figure out flattering slefies I'll assault you with a barrage of exercise proof photos. You'll love it.</p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW7mpY5yy8a6XLUgGcADWNvhYpA-iKD6dsn4ei6SDMbTTftJ6SnYjeRHluNyp6Un2qF9Nux3iw0xSfIfwqryzBpsJt0kJz-9Oc8PhL9yb4b9RW8dta0K_NJ4nPOZmiPeGIEyjtlOxVs1_y/s1600/1459798475433.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW7mpY5yy8a6XLUgGcADWNvhYpA-iKD6dsn4ei6SDMbTTftJ6SnYjeRHluNyp6Un2qF9Nux3iw0xSfIfwqryzBpsJt0kJz-9Oc8PhL9yb4b9RW8dta0K_NJ4nPOZmiPeGIEyjtlOxVs1_y/s640/1459798475433.jpg"> </a> </div>Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18331396042178335800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7942553385279927098.post-33973087104448338622015-12-24T11:05:00.000-08:002015-12-24T11:05:12.888-08:00Being this cool isn't always easyIn case you missed part 1 of this story, here's the link: <a href="http://timeforb.blogspot.com/2015/12/forced-family-fun.html">http://timeforb.blogspot.com/2015/12/forced-family-fun.html</a><br />
<br />
Forced family fun pretty much makes me the coolest parent on the planet. Except that for almost 2 weeks I made them open the wrapped games and then not play them. We had some school goals to get done, some bad behavior to deal with and some days where I was lazy/tired. You know how it is. By the time our semester ended on December 11th this whole board game advent calendar idea was beginning to feel like another failure of an idea.<br />
<br />
I persevered, more for you, my fans, than anything, but still, I persevered. So, over the course of weekends or whenever we had some free time, we caught up on the advent gaming to do list. We're still not caught up completely but tomorrow's schedule is wide open so there's hope that we'll finish.<br />
<br />
These reviews are too late to do you any good for Christmas, but let's face it, you should be playing more games always, so pick up whichever sounds the most interesting/least awful and open it up on the next rainy day. You'll thank me.<br />
<br />
Dec. 7th - these dates are not real and just serve to make sure I don't forget any of the games<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzldaU8AuQgJQyVpGPbfIeghGx8vbxUBhW6cBc9ZlKZmG1rgm8oBMuWGq_XI04aN2mURo6oXZu7KlbmFCpRfXmI_3zviPe2IEwPBP1sduawN57a8g5TsN4QgmLsW6tzFl55oA5J97UaARX/s1600/20151208_145312.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzldaU8AuQgJQyVpGPbfIeghGx8vbxUBhW6cBc9ZlKZmG1rgm8oBMuWGq_XI04aN2mURo6oXZu7KlbmFCpRfXmI_3zviPe2IEwPBP1sduawN57a8g5TsN4QgmLsW6tzFl55oA5J97UaARX/s320/20151208_145312.jpg" width="180" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiky6W-2dm1CASwpkEHm9l-bp4V39Ng0QXgmMRnPAuTBA5UkkmmvsjvMLBTujW1LU-hqs95iry7wESwq46Zh-FSAX-kY5xK4kMmhSXYMZ4hwffuPfRSNgmAYvNlFFN-jfrzChzfn_BjxNSz/s1600/20151209_204813.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiky6W-2dm1CASwpkEHm9l-bp4V39Ng0QXgmMRnPAuTBA5UkkmmvsjvMLBTujW1LU-hqs95iry7wESwq46Zh-FSAX-kY5xK4kMmhSXYMZ4hwffuPfRSNgmAYvNlFFN-jfrzChzfn_BjxNSz/s320/20151209_204813.jpg" width="180" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
This see through card game, Swish, is a new one for us. It was quick to figure out and has infinite playability as a one person challenge or with a lot of people. There were a few tricks to figuring it out but we got good as we went. Game play was fast, about 30 minutes. It's a puzzle game where you have to match cards in a sort of pattern. The trick is that you do it in your head and call "swish" when you're sure you can do it. You can only touch the cards to rotate, flip etc... at this time. I loved it.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Dec 8th </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbbOxei1yb1lfso9juS4yaGbQjDZDpAOn_FNtAyL47y5EL02uOF_A957d1xiewbASXzrkOeQfa_H6pgYTKkHptRuLg5DEmzRSRa5WX3nnbdayhdEo5tpKDI9c8KXnyaSzZXLeANPJDxD4b/s1600/20151209_192602.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbbOxei1yb1lfso9juS4yaGbQjDZDpAOn_FNtAyL47y5EL02uOF_A957d1xiewbASXzrkOeQfa_H6pgYTKkHptRuLg5DEmzRSRa5WX3nnbdayhdEo5tpKDI9c8KXnyaSzZXLeANPJDxD4b/s320/20151209_192602.jpg" width="320" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_-nlazroWZjVha41-GwmAMiGAQhuiH5ymt_yeBFJfjrwHwmJjDShplzXkmzWPjO-ixFri2oU7h6YEwIj4ytB03vdk4NfgPnNziZiuM-OBrmn6Itga_kJnKOmCFTSMkxQT20d_36vysOh-/s1600/20151208_145338.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_-nlazroWZjVha41-GwmAMiGAQhuiH5ymt_yeBFJfjrwHwmJjDShplzXkmzWPjO-ixFri2oU7h6YEwIj4ytB03vdk4NfgPnNziZiuM-OBrmn6Itga_kJnKOmCFTSMkxQT20d_36vysOh-/s200/20151208_145338.jpg" width="112" /></a></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbpYjyLCbHuNmjc7x3AHobKYT_0ZCJ-pjuhq4DK5f9bcFXmxWe5jIGqXU7UVJFTyNrsonE8Swu7uovzZ_DzWNN6voeZ721X0d5jegPL8MtvKA8AO2IjsDiqEWQbI8U8blqpq336BpFxXcb/s1600/20151209_192619.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbpYjyLCbHuNmjc7x3AHobKYT_0ZCJ-pjuhq4DK5f9bcFXmxWe5jIGqXU7UVJFTyNrsonE8Swu7uovzZ_DzWNN6voeZ721X0d5jegPL8MtvKA8AO2IjsDiqEWQbI8U8blqpq336BpFxXcb/s200/20151209_192619.jpg" width="112" /></a><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Concept, another new game for us that I now LOVE! This game is pictionary with a twist. You have a board full of images and you have to get everyone else to guess a word or phrase simply by marking the images. Everyone who guesses gets points for helping and the person who guesses correct gets double points. It's quick, funny and sneakily taught my kids that images have more than one meaning. That's an important concept in our emoji filled world. Game play 30 minutes.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Dec 9th</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4bd3lEZVsfJWs2C_5Fm4NsIsIbZFvODttB-J5bU7Def_oKenKqeUhajaNwg3X87Gtzu3JsQg6r1LvjNGurpn_p7WpdRETq08maGyYHORP8p-oO1et1pemIK8dX8PIUTwWHQ3o7ST2UieG/s1600/20151209_204005.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4bd3lEZVsfJWs2C_5Fm4NsIsIbZFvODttB-J5bU7Def_oKenKqeUhajaNwg3X87Gtzu3JsQg6r1LvjNGurpn_p7WpdRETq08maGyYHORP8p-oO1et1pemIK8dX8PIUTwWHQ3o7ST2UieG/s320/20151209_204005.jpg" width="180" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Loot is a cooperative card game where you loot pirate ships. You can choose to work together or against each other. I've only played it once and it wasn't my favorite. When my kids unwrapped it, I let them play without me. I will say, they all really enjoy it. If your kid is into pirates, ships or card games at all, this is probably a winner. Appropriate for ages 5 and up I think. Game play approx. 30 minutes</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Dec 10th</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaz9E0OtUSgZvjZ5Q3wV3R4pC-CL7NjbPO_pmBJfp3KEmgH4L2mW4Hhtcwej4iznKICsPfO2M-UzT23hlVCU8Fdfl26cDSMmBLRiZ2Orqt6gtlGaZQvQivR_CuM56_X7SWC6Ebe42vgAkq/s1600/20151213_201944.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaz9E0OtUSgZvjZ5Q3wV3R4pC-CL7NjbPO_pmBJfp3KEmgH4L2mW4Hhtcwej4iznKICsPfO2M-UzT23hlVCU8Fdfl26cDSMmBLRiZ2Orqt6gtlGaZQvQivR_CuM56_X7SWC6Ebe42vgAkq/s320/20151213_201944.jpg" width="180" /></a></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKxgiq0SU56dSzw8ftRFIkobEbIPfHWruKUzCJGVSEQcQpa113va90pC_sXwWYpu-0ms-InGbZnjE9o-QbPz6Fc5IRY55N3jEPFflMN7wtqUUnt-6ww-lYRfYXWn_THMZSQtzXdx0RF9_A/s1600/20151213_201906.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKxgiq0SU56dSzw8ftRFIkobEbIPfHWruKUzCJGVSEQcQpa113va90pC_sXwWYpu-0ms-InGbZnjE9o-QbPz6Fc5IRY55N3jEPFflMN7wtqUUnt-6ww-lYRfYXWn_THMZSQtzXdx0RF9_A/s400/20151213_201906.jpg" width="225" /></a><br />
<br />
I can't say enough good things about the card game Fluxx! I was desperate for the holiday version, I love the idea of a game that comes out with the decorations each year and goes away with them too :)<br />
<br />
Disclaimer: we've introduced Fluxx to 2 other families, they did not share our love for the game. I don't know why. It's sad.<br />
<br />
Fluxx, in any of its versions, is a game where the rules are in the cards and change as people play new rules to replace old rules. The cards are witty and I like the way they're written. This is a game that my husband and I will sometimes play on our own after kids are in bed, we think it's that good! All the kids love it and none of us can ever turn someone down when they ask us to play. Game play lasts 10 minutes to 60 minutes, it's all about the cards you draw.<br />
<br />
Have I mentioned we love this game? It's genius.<br />
<br />
Dec 11th<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2UyziPkrKyFzXfi6nMFypXGhEnwDbW6mSwJVfyEwevJPfzLvdIQsUVCC05INKrZRQndcCkqXO9RWz6dWqc2SbO8g5uKv5tfg3K1sWCgPoUkzUKIvsAlTxPNbajnXoZNQvXhWGAZ0gpk3I/s1600/20151213_203326.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2UyziPkrKyFzXfi6nMFypXGhEnwDbW6mSwJVfyEwevJPfzLvdIQsUVCC05INKrZRQndcCkqXO9RWz6dWqc2SbO8g5uKv5tfg3K1sWCgPoUkzUKIvsAlTxPNbajnXoZNQvXhWGAZ0gpk3I/s320/20151213_203326.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
Aaaaaahhhhh, Monopoly Deal, the only other game my husband and I play, even if it's just us and uses our precious free time. We love, love, love it! Game play really is 15 minutes, but you'll want to do it over and over so we usually play for about an hour. The concept is similar to Monopoly, you need to collect 3 property sets to win the game, there are cards that bring you windfalls and setbacks. You can steal and block opponents moves, which is a fun twist. The only thing I still haven't gotten used to is that there is no change. If you owe $1K in rent and you only have a $10k note, you have to pay the whole 10k. No money? You pay in properties. Buy this game! Well, I mean, if you're cool and if you like monopoly, buy this game.<br />
<br />
Dec 12th<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7BAJdUFJPO1aFhlJdGhA-8pTyKRXvT6QL0aN42n8l16dcpLSXsJpuArbtgb0l4tmmKzcWkWzsacXkZomVV8br1WSQwEYt08IZTZw61j6K7VNx4GPq3wLKwzOL2PwAGm_ThOIFAC0Jy2bg/s1600/20151213_204621.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7BAJdUFJPO1aFhlJdGhA-8pTyKRXvT6QL0aN42n8l16dcpLSXsJpuArbtgb0l4tmmKzcWkWzsacXkZomVV8br1WSQwEYt08IZTZw61j6K7VNx4GPq3wLKwzOL2PwAGm_ThOIFAC0Jy2bg/s320/20151213_204621.jpg" width="180" /></a><br />
Scattegories is kind of a classic game. It's got a timer and stresses my kids out and hasn't been a success at my house but I love it. Scattegories the card game has been the answer to prayers we didn't know we had. We bought it a year or two ago during our card game craze and it has had serious staying power. It's a game we can play in the car, at dinner, with friends or wherever and however we want. It always leads to laughs and sometimes identifies bad spellers in our midst. Basically it's a win - win :)<br />
<br />
Dec. 13th<br />
<div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFonMZTy6LUeYOpJV4GYFe4uiiDidDrCHNidXgZPNOCEDOxcGq53U6fR5OAMD1QRws_5em5i2XIGk5NwoMjkspbmOw60mDkY_pUwgZIGzPqk7YL_YmkpSszK-8q3Kd2b4Q4t7gSL8YnFkp/s1600/20151217_124030.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFonMZTy6LUeYOpJV4GYFe4uiiDidDrCHNidXgZPNOCEDOxcGq53U6fR5OAMD1QRws_5em5i2XIGk5NwoMjkspbmOw60mDkY_pUwgZIGzPqk7YL_YmkpSszK-8q3Kd2b4Q4t7gSL8YnFkp/s320/20151217_124030.jpg" width="180" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFonMZTy6LUeYOpJV4GYFe4uiiDidDrCHNidXgZPNOCEDOxcGq53U6fR5OAMD1QRws_5em5i2XIGk5NwoMjkspbmOw60mDkY_pUwgZIGzPqk7YL_YmkpSszK-8q3Kd2b4Q4t7gSL8YnFkp/s1600/20151217_124030.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFonMZTy6LUeYOpJV4GYFe4uiiDidDrCHNidXgZPNOCEDOxcGq53U6fR5OAMD1QRws_5em5i2XIGk5NwoMjkspbmOw60mDkY_pUwgZIGzPqk7YL_YmkpSszK-8q3Kd2b4Q4t7gSL8YnFkp/s1600/20151217_124030.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
I'm not totally sure what to say about this game. Civilization is based on a computer game. You develop an ancient civilization and win by being be the best at conquering, or technology or the arts. The youngest son loves history and was desperate to own this game. I managed to play it without crying. There are so many pieces that it took us almost 2 hours to setup. Game play was interesting and the first time my son attacked my village I declared him supreme ruler and quit. I have hopes for this game, it gets rave reviews and now we have it organized so it should be quicker setup in the future. But, I won't be trying it for quite awhile, it emotionally and mentally exhausted me.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Dec 14th</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdRkYTUc2bFsJT7PM9H4Z5so9kuMCMT1_4FXTPfMblThw9scp_KeuY_MjKs07MwoB93QRYskkPUQlxRQ0zG2vqbnETRDIX9nxEDZ3Ea1tuOuM5aeuuGPxq_JiMKgnsB2ONxIGvO2czRXes/s1600/20151218_204414.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdRkYTUc2bFsJT7PM9H4Z5so9kuMCMT1_4FXTPfMblThw9scp_KeuY_MjKs07MwoB93QRYskkPUQlxRQ0zG2vqbnETRDIX9nxEDZ3Ea1tuOuM5aeuuGPxq_JiMKgnsB2ONxIGvO2czRXes/s320/20151218_204414.jpg" width="180" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Wizard! This is my favorite card game and I almost always have a game going with at least one of my kids. It does take about 2 hours to play but it's easy to stop at any time and pick up where you left off later. It's a game of trumps. Each round you get an increasing number of cards and the trump suit changes. There are wizards and jesters that have their own special rules. It's easy to figure out and never stops being fun. You need strategy so it's a great learning tool to help the kiddos hone those skills.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Dec. 14th<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq-k1QD2BlTat1aTkJjJL5Z5uf-MhCfKn2OeWtzzc_OiIPannJiK6xDVg5zN3MBk4YDatVDBhYWUlFggSQ5O4V0t-0ioZaiggiWLtl8bMaaF5XYW7LN_O5ToAL3n-loO_eEKH8blVvj-L4/s1600/20151218_181341.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq-k1QD2BlTat1aTkJjJL5Z5uf-MhCfKn2OeWtzzc_OiIPannJiK6xDVg5zN3MBk4YDatVDBhYWUlFggSQ5O4V0t-0ioZaiggiWLtl8bMaaF5XYW7LN_O5ToAL3n-loO_eEKH8blVvj-L4/s320/20151218_181341.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
I'm so excited to tell you about this new to us game, Tokaido. You go on vacation in Japan, travelling the ancient road from Edo to Kyoto. Along the way you stop at inns, souvenir shops, excursions and scenic overlooks. You collect postcards, souvenirs and yummy food as you go. This game is all about the journey. It was super fast to setup and learn and we are all begging to play it again asap. The directions has some great info on Japan and it's customs, so you may spark some interest. I love it!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Dec. 15th</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6s5ZVZKdE2Xj4IH5Yw2-AI0T5bM4Qj__WXBsz-3rtuY7CXfLoooN7x3h6kaMvtemqqFcFlnDX5Fk3-T8zler_kCK337kptFqgkHlQ_HSFMwwEj_kLZJICLpuBqlLGSdFfTGngPntPHHjT/s1600/20151219_175412.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6s5ZVZKdE2Xj4IH5Yw2-AI0T5bM4Qj__WXBsz-3rtuY7CXfLoooN7x3h6kaMvtemqqFcFlnDX5Fk3-T8zler_kCK337kptFqgkHlQ_HSFMwwEj_kLZJICLpuBqlLGSdFfTGngPntPHHjT/s320/20151219_175412.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Now we've reached my favorite board game, Settlers of Catan. It has a lot of expansions and versions but the original has stolen my heart. The board is different everytime but the goal is the same, to settle Catan. You build villages, cities and roads and buy development cards. It takes about 2 hours to play. Come over, I'll play it with you any time!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Dec.16th</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9SLZU8sdt9grgEBaBUhxPfYgZdduWlOWLpd6vQkMOorz4OCU_j_KKQYzlB_cEHMJJ39ftc11S2vEwzrCCLUYc78mAuqNrIhSFb7362YkS5vbj4AHYIy6g6dg3ggPtLS17awnpECu23ITq/s1600/20151222_194534.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9SLZU8sdt9grgEBaBUhxPfYgZdduWlOWLpd6vQkMOorz4OCU_j_KKQYzlB_cEHMJJ39ftc11S2vEwzrCCLUYc78mAuqNrIhSFb7362YkS5vbj4AHYIy6g6dg3ggPtLS17awnpECu23ITq/s320/20151222_194534.jpg" width="180" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Apples to Apples anyone? The more people you have the longer it takes, but the more fun you'll have. Everyone has red apples (nouns)that they need to match to green apples (adjectives) and the judge votes on the best match. The more you know the players the better you'll be at this game but it's fun with anyone. A great party game.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Dec. 17th</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhc3O4TVnyIMShB4pi-vEQjMYR0PggtgXNtdeKeDenh774VJWwo0gfkt6OfahyphenhyphenBTlh7669GxFJNLTu_T3b-YSFclGfB7hlMGXIYYfWprAmInfSJU-b33ocAEhDkY1styfbGEZThRwr-w74/s1600/20151223_162841.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhc3O4TVnyIMShB4pi-vEQjMYR0PggtgXNtdeKeDenh774VJWwo0gfkt6OfahyphenhyphenBTlh7669GxFJNLTu_T3b-YSFclGfB7hlMGXIYYfWprAmInfSJU-b33ocAEhDkY1styfbGEZThRwr-w74/s320/20151223_162841.jpg" width="180" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu-y5OqaHZe77cfimU8IM9AaXto_48QGDBv7FSNcAZEqPQMkPv5g_6lIAhnozzrTrfuiLC1DhQyJSX2u-2vhs4ZVLDVEbKwYeWws0UtaufCCXcpSHW8_RphwkM6Ex-t1CyU6pnjcjJ3pqE/s1600/20151223_164933.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu-y5OqaHZe77cfimU8IM9AaXto_48QGDBv7FSNcAZEqPQMkPv5g_6lIAhnozzrTrfuiLC1DhQyJSX2u-2vhs4ZVLDVEbKwYeWws0UtaufCCXcpSHW8_RphwkM6Ex-t1CyU6pnjcjJ3pqE/s320/20151223_164933.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Smallworld. The youngest boy got this for his birthday a year ago, it was a spontaneous purchase that revived my faith in the boardgame industry. It's a small world on the board that needs to be conquered by the many different races using their many different skills. All of its expansions are amazing must haves that add to the game without changing or adding rules. When pixies, amazons and orcs have a chance to battle you know the game is a winner. Game play takes 1-2 hours. It's available as an app too, and plays great in that mode. The app is probably the best way to learn the rules and hone your skills so you're ready for battle when the time comes to play the game with us :)</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
We have 7 games left to play, so look forward to another post soon. We clearly favor strategy games :) we've also managed to play quite a few board games that weren't in our advent calendar in the last week such as Blokus, Catan Jr, Quirkle, Pictopia, Balderdash and the 2 year old favorite, Go Fish. Feel free to ask me about any of these if you've been considering a major board game purchase or check out reviews at boardgamegeeks.com</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18331396042178335800noreply@blogger.com0