The uncomfortableness is astounding

Have you ever had one of "those" days? There is no way to define "those" but you know if you've had one. I can assertively make this statement because today was the perfect example.

Got to wake up and take 10 extra steps to get my boys ready in an attempt to dewormify their lives. Got to school and had to tell my sons teachers that we are worm spreaders and then I got to tell the nurse and the principal. Everyone was very nice but this does not take away from how disgusting and embarrassing these moments were for me. Surprisingly I never wanted to have to share with multiple people that my kids had the grossness and might be giving it to oh.....everyone else on the planet. Oh and, as part of my job, I had to send an email notification to all parents at the school (even though they didn't know we were the cause I still felt like they did...some weird guilt thing I guess)

This would have been enough for me to have one of "those" days, but no, I also had to call the friend I hung out with yesterday, my life doppelganger who has kids where I have kids, lives where I live and goes the places I go (it's eerie how parallel our lives are), my neighbor and update my roommates on how it might affect them. Fun times right?

These steps complete, I finished my work day and thought the worst might be over. But no. I went to Walmart to look at medicines and disinfectants. In the disinfectant aisle who do I run into, but a parent from my sons school who has read the email. Of course she wants to have a conversation in the middle of Walmart about what grade levels had worms and how concerned she should be. I didn't tell her it was my kids but I did tell her how to check and that it wasn't serious. It's not everyday you discuss a childs anus in the middle of Walmart. Only on "those" days people, only on "those" days.

Now I could go home and scratch my skin off as I thought of the grossness right? No, that is not right. Had to go to the pharmacy to pick up the meds that treat worms. The pharmaceutical assistant sees my sons and excitedly explains that her daughter goes to the same school. Then we learn that her daughter is in the same class. Then I see her examining the prescription more closely. So the pharmacist comes over and together we three discuss how and why she needs to check her daughter tonight thanks to my sons. As we were leaving I had to let her know not to tell her daughter who had the worms so they wouldn't get teased, yet another fun moment in my day.

Speaking of that, those you that read this and have kids that know my kids, please don't mention specifics. I see what happens when a kid has ukus at school and I don't want to see my sons teased if it can be avoided.

I did not want, nor do I ever want again, to spend a day discussing, worms, poo, anus, scratching etc... It takes the uncomfortableness of an uncomfortable conversation to whole other level.

• Now I've discussed it again with you, my readers. Sometimes I just need to stop talking.

So grossed out right now!!

I am crawling in my skin and everything itches. I just rushed to take a shower and I have washed my hands at least 10 times in the last 30 minutes. I am contemplating having my sons miss school and me miss work because I cannot handle the grossness of the situation.I am not in a good head space over this new discovery in my household, not in a good head space at all!!!!

Ewww, blech, yuck, oogie, upchuck and cue entire body shiver.

So here's the deal, my sons have worms. It's not dangerous and does not cause serious problems (I know because I googled and googled some more and wished I hadn't googled so much) but it is gross and I can't get the images out of my head :( I know your wondering why I would share this, I realize that it's overstepping and way too much information, but if it helps even one childs butt itch less than it's all worth it.)

Almost two months ago our youngest son started complaining about his butt itching at night. It happened sort of regularly and he would swear it itched inside. We checked him, applied lotions, baby powder, gave him allergy medicine, tried everything we could think of but what it boiled down to was another way to sneak out of his room and avoid bed. We basically discounted it.

Today I was talking with my friend (as I mentioned in an earlier blog) and randomly brought up our youngest's butt itch dilemma. She immediately told me of another family who all had worms and how you check for them. I discounted it and went home. Tonight, as soon as he laid down, my youngest was back up again complaining of the ever present butt itch. I told him to lay down for 10 minutes then I would come check on him to see if he had something funny going on. I then promptly forgot what I said. 45 minutes later I remembered my promise and went to check.

He had fallen asleep. So I put on a headlamp (seriously, that's what I used and I looked awesome!) and went in. I pulled down his pajama bottoms, spread his cheeks (is it weird that this didn't even phase his sleep pattern?) and sure enough little white string things were crawling from his insides to his outsides. (this was mt moment of almost retching) I ran out trying to scratch my eyes and erase my memory simultaneously and called my friend. She didn't answer right away so I began googling.

After reading for a bit she called back and we discussed the other instance of this that she knew about. I hung up realizing I would need to check my other two sons. Apparently its very easy to spread, common to pick up at school and 4 out of 10 children have them. They did notice me spreading their cheeks while they tried to sleep and were very bothered, but sure enough they all had worms.

So now I get to call the doctor in the morning to share this development and everyone in our house has to be treated (with a little pill to be repeated in 2 weeks) and I need to clean everything, everywhere and throw out all items we touch first thing in the morning. Also I have to tell both of my sons schools, especially looking forward to that :(

As I said I am soooooooooooo grossed out right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also, if your sons butt itches, take it seriously, PLEASE, take it seriously.

Here's hoping my sons did not share any worm eggs with you and yours. If you're worried there are 4 ways to check. Enjoy.

1. After child has been laying down for an hour or so, spread their cheeks and look for wiggly white string things.

2. check for white string things in their stool.

3. Check their underwear first thing in the morning.

4. Do the scotch tape test (I'll let you look that one up)

Best prevention is frequent handwashing and washing bed linens, underwear, towels etc... in hot water.

Final bits of info that you never wanted to know, the eggs can live weeks on any surface. Reinfection is common because you touch a surface that has live eggs, then go eat which puts the eggs in your body and allows them to hatch in your intestines.

Are you so grossed out right now?!!?!?!?!

High Expectations

I received some perspective today from an unexpected source. I was at my friends house and her husband came home for lunch. I got ready to leave and mentioned offhandedly about the stress my children were causing me.

My friend mentioned her struggles with her son and his attitude and in my attempt to say, "I'm right there with you!" I totally took over the situation as I tearily explained that one of my sons lacked character and conviction and I wasn't going to let him play with his friends until he developed some. Also, I wasted their entire lunch hour with my stories. Yep, I'm that kind of friend (but she loves me anyways)

My oldest son has been making poor choices lately.

The thing is, he's amazing.

And not just, I'm his mom so I have to love him amazing, but like, genius adorable everyone wants to be his friend and know him, amazing.

The kid is impressive is all I'm sayin' :)

Yet whenever he plays with any friend (at all, even the good ones) he has this need to show off. Showing off when you are 6 means bathroom words, inappropriate guestures, unsafe actions and unkind words apparently. I generally see this as a learning experience but after 3 ridiculous instances of one upmanship last week I had had enough. He was banned from friends and put on "glue" duty where he has to stick with an adult at all times (it's our version of grounding).

I ranted for hours last Thursday night (to my poor husband as he played a video game) about how I couldn't teach him character and good judgement and he should just know! I didn't want him to turn out like so and so who had so much potential but always made bad decisions! Was I raising a potential future convict?! What could I do!

So um yeah, I was a little distraught over the matter.

He handled his punishment well during the 4 day weekend and I saw glimmers of my amazing son every now and then but there's still a lot of work to do. These tearful admissions bring us back to the moment of perspective courtesy of my friends husband.

After unloading all this on my friends at a totally inappropriate time, the husband says to me, "but you have to remember that he's 6." You may be thinking, "duh!" but this was an "AHA!" moment for me. My friend and her husband went on to give me examples of kids testing boundaries, the teaching moments this gives us as parents, and how surrounding them in a healthy environment is our best way to deal with that sort of thing. They pretty much explained that what he is doing is kind of like, you know, ummm normal...and gave me permission to not have exceedingly high expectations.

Now I feel like I can calm down, grow up a little and focus more on my sons many successes. Not sure what it is that makes me overreact about these things but I do...to the extreme.

Thank the Lord that I have friends like these to bring me back to sanity and spare my sons some of my ridiculousness. I'm still concerned about his behavior but I'm now going to adopt the mantra. "He's young. He'll learn. We can work on it together."

If that doesn't work I'll just sink to his level and copy everything he does til he gets that it's not okay (mimicking is good parenting right?).

You know, cause it's important to have a backup plan :)

Puttin' my braggin' pants on

That is what I am doing right now. I spend a lot of time on this blog airing my distress, outrage, boredom, mayhem and muck that comes with daily life. I love to read sappy blogs but I generally don't want to write one.

Today is an exception to that. Today all is right in the world and I am one proud mama. Let the bragging begin.

You see my boys want beyblades. They need beyblades. ALL their friends have beyblades. We take special trips to the store just to drool over beyblades.

But at our house you can get toys in one of 3 ways:
1. You earn them (we have a mallar system and it's rare to earn toys, usually just video game time etc...)
2. You receive them as a present (only for birthdays and christmas)
3. They are a really good deal. (I am a sucker for a good deal)

Unfortunately beyblades cost approx. $10 a piece. This does not count as a good deal and we are several months away from any holiday. So everytime our sons drool my husband and I explain that we will not be purchasing this toy.

Today they begged to go view the beyblades at Walmart. We complied and they quietly discussed amongst themselves the various attributes and cool colors of the beyblades they would buy someday.

We got home and I was ready for a break. I set them loose with the detailed instruction to play....QUIETLY....without me. I heard them laughing and scheming most of the time, every once in awhile things would get quiet and I would get concerned. Not concerned enough to get off my butt and check on them, but you know, concerned.

It got close to the time when we needed to leave for an evening event and I went to check on them. They had played quietly for over 2 hours and I was beyond curious at how they had spent their time and how much work it would take to clean up. With much trepidation I set forth to discover their mayhem.

I found them all seated on the dining room floor playing beyblades. But not with store bought toys (they didn't steal!). Nope. My ingenious sons had created them out of the spout tops of water bottles and out of legos and had them spinning all over the room. They had all been named and they boys had figured out which were better at different types of battles. I have never been so happy in my life to have denied my child a toy. The creativity, hard work and genuine fun times that came out of their deprivation was outstanding.

My husband and I stood there smiling at their play and I asked who's idea it was. You guessed it, it was my oldest. He is the one who causes me the most ulcers and tears but he also constantly amazes me with his ability to create, problem solve and lead others. His strengths just shine out of him when he is having a good day. I am so proud of all of my boys, I included a picture below of a few of their creations. It doesn't do them justice, I should have taken a video of them in action, it's seriously impressive. The colorful detailed lego ones are mostly do to my middle son who has an eye and talent for that sort of thing. He creates many things of beauty and you can always see the effort he has put forth in his work.

So, long story short, my kids rock! Also, next time your kids beg for a toy, deprive them and force the creativity out of them whether they like it or not. Unless it's Legos, cause legos are awesome and may be needed to substitute for the denied toy :)

The day I ran a 5K

That day was today, and boy did my training pay off :P

First off, a big thank you to the ladies that asked if I wanted to do this. I never would have even thought of such an idea but I love to follow along with others bright ideas. Also thanks to my sister who immediately signed up and paid the late registration fee when she heard I was doing it.

I know I didn't post yesterday. Somehow I got discouraged about bragging over my donut eating 12 minute run sort of training day. Go figure.

Now to the juicy part, the part you have all been waiting for, the day of the race.

I went to bed a 11:30 last night with a  4yr old in my bed. Not sure how that works for you, but for me, kids in my bed means fitful sleep for me. I woke up frantic at 3:00am thinking my alarm hadn't gone off and I was late. Once I calmed myself down I made it back to sleep but still woke up before my alarm, excited to get my day started.

I slept in my running clothes so I literally hopped out of bed, tied my shoes, found my coordinating bandana grabbed 3 spoonfuls of cottage cheese, 1 swig of orange juice and was on the road. Picked up a friend and headed to Kihei. We made it in good time and met up with our other friend and I began scanning.

I scanned the crowd looking for several things, those less fit than me so more prone to finish after me in a race, those that were doing cool stretches which I could mockingly imitate and those that were seriously into this whole running thing and that I should steer clear of. I was dismayed to see, and way to loudly announced, that I was one of the least fit people there. I guess there are not a lot of runners in the over 200lb club :)

But that early in the morning nothing can get my spirit down so I jumped in place, sang and generally got myself hyped up for the big event. The megaphone man called us to the start line and things got serious...seriously. We started on the road and I was like "woohoo, I can do this!!" then we hit the sand and it was all downhill from there. Not literally but mentally.

Running on sand sucks. Running on sand in shoes sucks more. Running on sand at a weird slope/incline when the tide is coming in sucks most. Wait I forgot soft sand, that sucks most. But you know me, ever the optimist, so I cheerily jogged along. Then I walked. Then I jogged. Then I walked. I developed a pattern that was working for me. As we got close to the halfway point I got a cramp at the top of my ribs on one side. From this point on it was all over. I turned into a 3yr old belligerent child and whined, complained and ignored all advice that could make it better. I yelled at others to be quiet and leave me alone. I am a huge baby!

I eventually began running again and as I my running friends predicted the ache had gone away. At this point I was mentally beat and convinced it would happen again so I put significantly less effort into the second half of the race. I soaked my shoes in the incoming tide and threw wet sand with my feet as  Iran. I hurdled a canoe that thought setting off during a race was a smart idea. Really I was an impressive running specimen. Towards the end I picked it up a bit and managed to finish at a slow jog with 5 people behind me.

At first I was hot and sweaty and my head was pounding and I was ready to curse the world. By the time I had cooled down I was puffed up, proud and ready to run again. My ego had returned and I was preening as best I could at my accomplishment.

That's how the 5K went. I did it. Next time I may do better. We'll see. I still hate running.

sidenote: When I say run you should picture someone jogging in slow motion. So slow a two year old could walk faster. That's my pace, my stride, my moves :)

18 is super close to 40

At least that's what I'm telling myself.

Why?

Because 6.5 minutes into my first 21 minute Hulu episode my calves were screaming, crying and loudly shouting at me to stop running in place.

I obeyed.

Then I remembered that working through the pain can help it go away so during the second 21 minute episode I began to jog again. I made it 12 minutes before I came to the realization that running in place sucks and then I just gave up.

Eh, what can you do?

So as promised I am filling you in on my 5K training. Now to let you know the finer details of those glorious 18.5 minutes of mind numbing running in place.

I started at 10pm. I had just gotten home from a long day and was like, "oh crap, I still need to run!" So I foolishly slipped into old habits and started exercising in my work clothes. A couple good bounces in I realized I HAD to change NOW. But I had promised to run for 40 minutes. ....

Oh what a mental tussle this gave me!!

I settled on running in place while changing. Turns out it's not as easy as it sounds. Finally completed this task and looked ridiculous as I had grabbed the first things I could find in my closet and then the next brilliant thought occurred.

When you exercise you should drink water. So, I jogged my way out to the kitchen to fill up my water bottle and jogged in place at the water dispenser as it filled and I tried to catch fly away ice cubes. My sisters fiance just looked over and said, "you look really funny." Then I felt the need to explain my sillliness but it didn't really help and I jogged off shouting that I would blog what he said later!

All this and I had only reached 6.5 minutes and crying calves. During my second set, all twelve minutes of it, I ran back and forth across the room randomly dancing and singing to 80's songs that popped up during commercials. Pretty sure there were a lot of Kodak moments in there.

So, don't do the math, just reassure me that 18 minutes is almost 40 minutes and tell me tomorrow I'll do better. Thanks in advance for the unfounded support :)

12 step program

I am officially in training. This is serious and if I am going to make it out alive I have to focus. Here's my guaranteed 12 step program to mediocrity or less in racing.

1. Signed up for a 5K 3 days before the race. (screw planning and forethought, procrastination reigns in this hizzzouse!)

2. Planned intensive training schedule to prepare for 5K race. (involving actually exercising 3 days in a row, a feat rarely accomplished)

3. Began planned exercise. (ran in place in my pajamas for 21 minutes - this is the length of one episode of "Traffic" on Hulu)

4. Completed food diary and realized I must run in place 30 more minutes or gain weight due to poor eating habits. (rethought training plan and considered adding healthy food options)

5. Searched for 30 minute shows on Hulu (these do not exist and anything else just won't work for me.)

6. Realization hit that I may not make it through this alive.

7. Completed 13 pushups (because arm strength is the most essential training component in a 5K race)

8. Went to bed and promised to make changes for the better tomorrow.

9. Began composing blog post in my head regarding how cool I look when I train. (it's pretty amazing)

10. Out of bed for cookies. Crap, this put me even more over my daily eating goals.

11. Reassured myself that this weak willpowered moment would never happen again.

12. Finally fell asleep to "Futurama" which brought about a whole host of bizarre dreams that I thankfully couldn't remember completely.