Friday, May 17, 2013
Time for a rant
I don't know if I've mentioned this lately, but I'm pregnant.
37 weeks pregnant and larger than some European houses to be exact.
Like really, really pregnant.
I thought I had been very open about my pregnancy.
I posted it on Facebook, announced it at work meetings and wore all manners of horrendously striped maternity clothing that made me look ready to give birth 2 months ago. And yet and I am still getting shocked comments of, "you're pregnant?!" Or for those bold enough to finally ask, the question is "how many months do you have left?"
I am left completely baffled. These people are not strangers, they are people I interact with on a regular basis. I was overweight (wii fit likes to loudly announce obese) before I got pregnant but I am a little taken aback that people just thought I got that much fatter. Thats like a lot fatter folks.
If you ever see this sort of weight gain happening to me when I am not pregnant, ask me if I'm pregnant, take away the donut,and invite me to the gym asap. But don't sit and silently watch me blow up for 9 months. This is not friendship. Friends wouldn't let me get so fat that I looked 9 months pregnant.
I guess friends wouldn't wait 9 months to ask if I was pregnant either so I should probably remind myself that they are just acquaintances.
I can't help thinking about where I went wrong. Did I not share enough details when you asked how I was doing? I do usually shrug that one off with a nonchalant "good" or"tired" but its because I feel like an over sharer when I go into details on the latest contraction or how often I almost pee myself or why I hate that even smiling makes me sweat. But I'm an over sharer so this stuff does come out occasionally, like any time you have more than a 5 minute conversation with me. What else could it be? I it because I didn't wear those shirts with the cute pregnancy sayings? I may never solve this mystery!
Rant part 1 complete.
Now rant part 2, Baby showers. I tell you they are hard! You're basically having a party where you ask people to give you stuff because you decided to do something that you can't afford and now you can't get out of it (or you know it could also be for celebrating the miracle of life blah, blah, blah)
This is my 4th kid so I was not expecting a shower and was a little dumbfounded when my friend offered to throw one for me. Granted, I needed it. We are not well off and I had next to nothing left from my last birth almost 7 years ago.
And the color pink had never been seen in my house before except in the pesto bismol bottle.
Another friend and my sister stepped up to help and I tried to keep the guest list very small. I only invited people that have been to my house, are close friends of the family etc... I didn't want my sweet friends to pay for a huge party for me.
But I didn't know the etiquette of inviting people from work. I work at a school and there are a lot of pregnancies. Usually your grade level throws you a work shower. I had never been invited to any work friends showers with their friends so I decided to use that as my guide. I don't have a grade level (I am my own 1 woman department) so there isn't really anyone to throw me a work shower (which isn't a big deal, because remember it is my 4th kid!) but my sister works at the school and told people about all her hard work for my friend baby shower so I think things got weird and I hurt people's feelings for not inviting them. Apparently I missed the etiquette boat on this one. Whoops and I'm sorry to anyone I offended :(
I don't have any rant about the shower itself. It was the most amazing thing ever and took the highest level of thoughtfulness that you could think of up 20 more levels. My.friends are awesome. But they still spent too much money and stressed themselves too much.
Now I'm 3 weeks from my due date and people are starting to ask if I need anything. This feels like a loaded question. If I say yes am I grubbing for a present? Do I look irresponsible that I still need stuff when the baby is due any day? I If i say no do I look too put together and lose the pregnancy sympathy vote? Do I seem rich and like I just bought everything?
The reality is that you never have everything you need but you can probably make do with what you have right?
I am so overwhelmingly grateful for every gift I have been given. Needed or not the thought and care put into them is amazing and makes me and baby feel extremely loved. I can never have enough diapers, wipes, baby care stuff (shampoo, lotion etc...) and I am too cheap to buy expensive stuff so I am waiting for garage sale finds on big stuff like exersaucers, bumbo chairs, high chairs etc... But it feels wrong to go around handing out a list :P really I just want hundreds of bows and shoes and pretty things because I finally have a girl to dress up!!!! Is there a politically correct way to say that when people ask?
Rant 2 complete.
Rant 3, my sister is crazy. I have 3 sisters. One of them lives here on Maui and we work together and are great friends. I know my sister very well and she is overdoing it on the baby stuff. I try to tell her but she's more excited than I am that I'm having a baby. She handcrafted practically everything for my shower. I told her not to but she stayed up all night and exhausted herself doing it anyways. She does not make a lot of money but she continually buys the baby gifts and tries to get me stuff too. She is taking the whole first month of her summer vacation to just be there for me and all of my kids despite the fact that she is burned out from the school year and really needs a rest. I want to shake her and tell her to calm down. I want her to realize that she is a huge part of my and my kids lives and that presents aren't needed, we love her for her. But mostly I am just in awe and so grateful that she is willing to do so much for me and my family. I worry about her but i worry what i do without her too. You wish you had her as a sister!
So yeah, this pregnancy stuff is crazy. I have the nursery all dolled up and I am getting my hospital bag packed. The house is clean and organized and we're in our last week of school so my to do lists are almost done. My feet only swelled two sizes larger today and I didn't yell at anyone so I feel like I'm right on track with this baby. Don't let my rants scare you, a lot of the random questions etc... have been very amusing in the moment and I am a forgive and forget sort of person so I'll never hold your thoughts and words against you. I just had to get these rants off my chest so I could feel a little less fat:P