Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Diets take planning,

and planning is something that I strive for and never accomplish.

You recall a previous post, or 7, where I commented that showering is as much scheduling as I can take in a day? Yeah, it's a problem.

So tonight the boys and I went to a movie. I "planned" to take them to a "healthy" dinner at Pretzelmaker first (there is one thing I can eat there and still stay within my version of healthy not cheating on my diet food). My "plan" didn't work out and we got to the mall with 10 minutes to eat dinner.

So I dutifully informed my sons that we were having popcorn for dinner and set off to buy our tickets in the midst of all the cheering. Still I had a plan, I would just eat some plain popcorn and have dinner when I got home. I neglected to include a few important factors in my eating equation.

Factor #1 - Don't buy your kids candy that you like. Red Vines and Reeses Pieces can overpower even the steeliest of my willpower. Also my willpower is not so much steely as bendable crushable aluminum.

Factor #2 - All I ate that day (excuse side note: the train day mayhem left me too excited to sit down, yes this happens to adults too, it's not just a kid excuse) was one measly delicious bad for you grilled cheese sandwich. My stomach growling reached massive proportions shortly into the movie and I owed it to fellow movie goers to quiet myself ( you see how I sacrifice for others? I'm a saint!)

All this information leads me to shamefully hang my head and mumble quietly while shuffling my feet and tell you that because I didn't plan, I stole my kids food.

I know what you're thinking, hey I've done that! But no, it's much worse than what you did.

You see I ate a little of the oldests popcorn and reeses pieces mix (a soul suckingly delicious combination) specifically targeting the reeses pieces. When it got to the point where I thought he would notice, I switched over to the youngests yummy snack mix. It reached the point where I had eaten at least half his goodies so I took a break, willing myself to stop .

My willpower didn't last 10 minutes. Then I whispered loudly and accusingly to the middle child, "Are you eating your food?" He responded, "No, I'm watching the movie." I said, "Give it to me!" He handed it over and I proceeded to eat all of his reeses pieces, which he hadn't touched because he was so into the movie. When I realized what I had done, I handed the popcorn box back trying to hide the picked through areas.

In the last five minutes of the movie he realized that he hadn't eaten his snacks yet and when he went to grab a handful he loudly announced, "Hey! Mom, you ate all my reeses!" To which I replied, "Sssshhhh! No I didn't, they're at the bottom."

Yep, I lied. And he let me get away with it. My kids are awesome and I need to stop stealing their food. Bottom line folks, bottom line.

SIDENOTE: The movie we saw was Mars vs Moms and it is a must see. We all adored it. If you go, stay for the end because the extras are cool.

**Spoiler Alert**: A mom dies in the movie and as we watched that happen I thought I heard my youngest choking. I leaned over to whisper ask if he was okay and realized he was holding back tears. He wanted to know why martians were going to kill me. He was so upset it was heart breaking :( I scooped him into my lap and discussed that martians aren't real and that I would be fine but he remained traumatized for a few minutes. The action in the movie picked back up and he got over it but oh what a bittersweet moment.

I'm not going to lie, although it was sad that he was so upset, it made my heart swell to hear how terrible he would feel if martians killed me.

I say all this to note that you should warn your kid that the movie isn't real if they are the sensitive type.

1 comment:

  1. We need to discuss this "diet" that you're on, I'm giving up donuts in the mornings while this is going on?!