Friday, February 25, 2011

**WARNING** This is yucky.

Just read through my first month of blog posts and I am now even more in love with myself :P It got me in a sharing mood but the things I have to share at this moment in my life are gross.

Hence the warning.

Now with that out of the way, let the oversharing begin.

Don't post TMI in my comments, just stop reading now if you don't want to know!

Dramatic much? Why yes, yes I am.

I started a cleanse 3 days ago, a cheaters cleanse where all I have to do is take 4 pills a day. Wasn't expecting much just thought I'd try the easiest one possible to see what the hype was about and support my husband because he kind of needed to do one.


My friends response to me telling the facebook world I was cleansing was this, "All I can say is, never trust a fart." I was rolling on the floor laughing over this comment and today I am nodding my head and ackowledging her wiseness (I like this pretend word).

I have never spent this much time in a bathroom in my life!! This has been grossly entertaining. Moms will know what I'm talking about. You know how you sort of investigate your baby's diaper to see if what you fed them came back out? Or had to describe their stool to the pediatrician?  I am tempted to do this every time I use the bathroom. This is weird, I know, but it's what's happening right now.

As if this poo discussion isn't enough fun for you, I am also going to share about my shower experience 10 minutes ago. The drain seemed clogged so I unscrewed the top and stuck my fingers in to pull out whatever was there. I pulled and pulled and pulled. I pulled some more, kept pulling, began to feel like the magician with endless pocket kerchiefs but way grosser and finally reached the end of a hairball the size of my fist.

At this gagging point there was probably more, but I gave up and flushed the hairball.

Great, now I probably just clogged the toilet! Oops. Sorry honey (where is the cute shruggy half smile emoticon when I need it?!)

The sad thing is, it was all my hair. The sadder thing is, my husband cleans the drains frequently. I can only deduce from these facts that it is a miracle that I am not bald. How can one person lose that much hair in a short period of time and not have it show? Weird. Gross.

I warned you.

I promise to have a better topic tomorrow.


  1. BWHAhahahahaahahhahaha! I just rolled on the floor and cracked up myself. I loved the line "never trust a fart!" SO FUNNY!
    I told my husband tonight at dinner I think you should get paid for your writing these funny blogs b/c you're so good at it!

  2. i told you!!! never trust a fart!!! :)