Friday, August 2, 2013

July was rough stuff

July started off with a bang!

Literally a bang folks, or lots of them as we bought a ridiculously oversized package of fireworks from Costco and set them off in my mother in laws driveway. Setting things on fire is such a magical way to celebrate the USofA's birthday don't you think?

The baby and I both ventured in to my mother in laws pool for the 4th and that loving 1st swim moment where the baby clutches this mom in sheer terror and screams like you dipped her in acid. Other than that first moment it went pretty well with me walking her in the pool trying to be sweet while clenching my teeth and threatening my sons with the heinous crimes I would commit if they so much as splashed one drop of water on her during her magical first swim moment.

Another fun moment was when my boys were all playing at their friends house and Curly fell out of a hammock. I wasn't there and missed the phone call and text from my friend that noted that he then cried and carried on uncontrollably until he cried himself to sleep on her couch. But no need to worry because she had made sure he didn't have a concussion. When I finally got the message and checked in, he was still sleeping and I found myself much less worried about if he might be hurt and instead mortifyingly embarrassed that my 9 year old would behave that way over a bump on the head. My poor poor friend tried to keep him over after he woke up but he went back to the moaning groaning crying extravaganza so she brought them home. Within 5 minutes of her leaving they all collapsed into inconsolable tears of ridiculousness and I put them all to bed at 5:30pm. I'm thinking this may be the best consequence ever because it means I get a night off while they get the rest they need. Parenting win!!

I got brave and was healing so well after baby #4 that I took my boys and baby girl shopping, to a lot of movies and even braved the park and the beach once. I was pretty much the poster child for post pregnancy awesomeness. As the month past its halfway mark it was time to think about school starting up again in the beginning of August. We did the back to school shopping trip where you go to all 5 stores on our island that sell school supplies to be able to find the very weirdly specific items on each of their lists. People go mad over back to school shopping, I almost think its worse than Black Friday as I watch mothers encourage children to swipe that yellow folder from the abandoned cart or send a little child in to squeeze under the adults scouring the bins for the transparent mending tape to beat them all and grab the last one. It gets desperate in the shops and people go bananas. I will not say whether or not I participated in the craziness I'll just say that I brought the cutest of my sons with me, made sure his charm was turned up to its maximum with promises of icees at the end of the shopping trip and gosh darnit if we didn't get the job done. I was so doing so exceptionally well with everything that I even took baby to the July PTSA meeting at school and managed to multitask like a madwoman and do my job, speak up as a parent and keep the baby calm (the key was to immediately hand her off to a friend as the meeting started, yep I've become THAT parent).

Not sure if it was my cocky attitude or if my awesomeness was just making all the other new moms look bad but the very next day the planets aligned to put in me my place. I got sick. Sick quickly progressed too excruciating pain. This sprinkled into my husbands getting carted off to grandmas and me spending 5 hours at the doctors office. During this time I got my first ever CT scan (do not believe it when they stuff they make you drink says the flavor is apple, the flavor is liquid chalk no matter the label they out on it. Do believe the when they tell you it will feel like you wet yourself after they inject the dye (but don't worry, you won't actually wet yourself.) I also discovered that weekend clinics aren't prepared for 5 hour visits so I spent the majority of my time in an oversized supply closet with a bed where I alternated between napping while every employee there came back and forth for supplies and reading and re-reading the only magazine available, the March Madness edition of Sports Illustrated. I've never watched college basketball but I sort of feel like an expert now. Did you know the #1college player of all time is Kareem Abdul jabber and that his name when he played in college was Lew? Because I know that.

Well after 5 hours of the most fun you can have when you've forgotten your cell phone my do for walks in and says she needs to give me a hug. I immediately know I'm going to die.

She tells me to call my loved ones because I have to have surgery immediately to remove my appendix. I hope the give awards to doctors for bedside manner. I'd like to find the person in charge and nominate my doctor for the most dramatic award.

5 days later, 1 appendix less and a whole new knowledge base regarding hemorrhoids thanks to my hospital roommate and I got to go home and begin recovering from abdominal surgery all over again. The rest of July was spent high on Vicodin (pleas tell me you know this part was a joke?!) and bed rest and now I think you're caught up on the magical wonderland that is my life.

We can now resume our regularly scheduled blogs. Hope I don't have to play the catch up game again but I make no promises.

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