Tuesday, August 9, 2011

You need to be specific

That's what I was reminded of today, in a rather wet, unpleasant way.

Here's the best of what I can remember about what went down.

Son? (we're avoiding labels because he would be pissed if he knew I was sharing this, plus everyone who reads my blog can guess which son I'm talking about so who needs labels) needed to get ready for bed.

Brother?: "Ummm, mommy? Actually I forgot to tell you something. This morning Son? peed on the floor in our room and covered it with a blanket. But it was a blanket we weren't using."

(I turn away stifling giggles and hiding smirks)

Son?: "Nuh-uh! Don't tell on me!"

Me: "What Happened Son?"

Son? "Well, I woke up and I really had to pee. I just knew I wasn't going to make it so I peed in my room and then I put a blanket on it. But it was an accident!!!"

Me: (hiding smiles at the ridiculousness of it all) "I'm really only mad at one part. Can you guess what part?"

Son? "The peeing on the floor part?"

Me: "Well, was peeing on the floor an accident or on purpose?"

Son? "It was kind of both. Because I decided not to try to make it to the bathroom but I peed on accident."

Me: "And what about the blanket?"

Son? "Are you mad because somebody might pick it up and step in it and be like, GROSS!"

Me: "I hadn't even thought of that. But was the blanket on accident or on purpose?"

Son? "On purpose?"

Me: "I'm mad that you hid it from me. You should have told me what happened. Now go downstairs and put the pee blanket in the laundry and then lysol and mop the floor."

Brother? "and he smelled like pee all day at school too!"

Me: "Did you wear the clothes to school?"

Son? "No. And I didn't smell like pee brother?!!!"

After he cleaned up downstairs:

Me: "Now you have to write an apology letter because that was not ok." (this is the punishment they are using in his classroom this year)

Son? "Well who do I have to write it to?"

Me: (I'll admit it I was stumped? Who had he really hurt?) "Ummmmmm.....to the floor. Yeah, write an apology letter to the floor."

This was his apology letter:

Der Flor,

Sorre for peeing on you. I pomis I will not be doing it.

I feel like they skipped this section in my parenting manual. Am I really the only one whose son pees himself because there is a chance he might not make it and then hides it from everyone? I mean come on!! This is common....right?

When I went downstairs to put the dog to bed I found a pile of laundry on the floor. I quickly scooped it up only to discover it was the pee clothes and that I was now covered in pee. Quickly realized my instructions were only to put the blanket in the laundry. Hauled out the sleeping child and made him mop the floor again. You need to be specific, never forget that, lest you suffer my soggy fate.


  1. BWHAHAHAHHAH! You're too funny!

  2. This might be my favorite blog yet... although I still don't think it beats your mothers popsile stick message :)

  3. I am very curious who the anonymous is. Less than 10 people know about that popsicle stick message...So thanks for the kind comment whoever you are :) Obviously I know you in real life so expect to hear from me soon!