Tuesday, February 15, 2011

speed vs. embarrassment

These are the options I found myself weighing after another episode of "Adventures in Bicycling" yesterday.

Since so many of you enjoyed my last bout with public humiliation I guess my mind told me that I should again opt for speed and go bike riding with my dog in a floor length strapless dress. All was well, I was happily destressing and channelling serious style in my floral prints and sweatbands, until my dog had to go to the bathroom.

At that point I had to hurriedly unmount the bike to get her where she needed to go. Due to the hurrying factor I of course got stuck on my bike, again. Inevitably I was faced with the decision, lose the dog or lose the dress, something had to give. I managed to only briefly flash other joggers, drop the bike on my toe and cause my dog to slightly defecate on herself. I felt like it was a good compromise.

So, learning from this debacle I stayed where I was for a few minutes and taught myself how to get on and off a bicycle in a floor length dress. It turns out it is relatively easy to do, you just pretend you are mounting and dismounting a giant african elephant. With that mindset you'll never get stuck on a bicycle seat due to your choice of wardrobe. Bonus, you look amazing cool, like a lone rockette doing a bicycle show.

I got home and expressed my distress to my darling husband regarding riding bikes in dresses at which point he remarks in exasperation, "Why can't you just put on your exercise clothes?" I try to debate my need for speed and the fact that I need to be wearing suitable clothes immediately after. I point at case after case of me working out in a dress where it has not been a big deal. Pretty confident that I have won this debate I look over expectantly, thinking his look of complete defeat will make me feel better. I've definitely won this argument. Right? He takes it all in, shakes his head and says, "Just stop being lazy and change your clothes."

Case closed. I get it. I am blaming it on a mental block but this week I promise to overcome these mental hurdles and change into workout clothes every time I get my sweat on.

It might be the same ones every time, but it's baby steps people.

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