I really like that sentence. I really like the word emboldened.
Here's the thing. The high school my kids attend was short a writer for an event they hold every year called the 24 hour play project. They asked me (because of one of my fun fact Friday posts where I lament that I want to write but don't) and I said yes.
I almost quit 10 times in the 10 days leading up to the event. I didn't know what to expect and realized the day before that I might be incapable of writing dialogue! I'm pretty sure most plays have dialogue. Right? I'm a classic monologuer, it's always all about me, by me, for me. I don't think I know how to write for others.
I tried to prepare ahead of time, but it was an event that is not meant to be prepared for. You get an hour and a half to watch 35 kids audition. They can do scenes or any "talent" they'd like to share. Then it's time to lock the writers away and make them draft students in a quick series of rounds. Once you have your cast, then you get a random prompt that must inspire your writing. You're out of the school by 6pm and have til 6am to write a 10 minute play. No pressure.
I couldn't handle the enormity of all the options they had laid before me. I crave rules and structure. So I decided to make a rule that I could only choose kids that could sing, dance or play an instrument. Then the prompts I got were all nature themed. I had already decided I was writing a musical and nature was not inspiring me so I don't think I passed the prompt test... if anyone checked. I set my play in a high school and just parodied the kids current school, lazy has got nothing on me.
I don't think I've written under a deadline since college. Turns out it might be something that I should do more often. I was tired, so I was highly motivated to get this thing written so that I could go to bed. Think what you want, but I am 40 now and this is my truth. Sleep is very important.
I realized the students wouldn't have time to learn songs so I decided to parody popular songs. This is one of my secret super power abilities so it made writing go faster. Except I realized I had to list the name and artist for the kids to be able to find the song. I don't know those things. I had to use my other secret superpower, asking google questions that actually result in answers. That took longer than writing the songs did. I threw in the most minimal of dialogue scenes, added some staging notes and read it out loud while timing myself. It was already too long so I sent it without editing and went to bed.
In the morning I regretted everything. Why had I tried to use slang terms? What 40 year old googles 2022 teen lingo at 1am and then is proud of what they do with that information? My kids go to that school. We have the same last name. If this thing flops they have to deal with the fallout. This thought brought relief and then deep deep remorse. What had I done? Everyone in my house was asleep when I submitted it. Why didn't I wake someone up? Why did I think I could do this? How embarrassed would my kids be?
My adorable teens sent me texts throughout play practice that day. They had 10 hours to learn 4 short plays and then had to perform for a live audience that evening. My kiddos would send me texts saying that someone thought a line was funny or that someone wasn't mad that I had cast them. They really know how to buck a girl's spirits. One of them did light board and the other was cast as a shining star in one of the other short plays. They had yet to tell me they were changing their last names so all seemed ok.
Then the performance was upon us. I got there and loudly apologized to everyone in the audience around me for what they were about to see. I did not give it the effort it deserved. It was such a short time to create a masterpiece. The prompt was vague and hard to use. I had a lot of good excuses ready to go. Turns out I was beyond impressed with the other writers shows. They were very nature filled and interesting. The dialogue was on point. Mine went way better than I expected. I was really proud of the students I chose. At one point they harmonized! They finished my play with a sing along and got quite a bit of audience engagement. I actually got to see what's in my head everyday acted out on a stage. That was way more exhilarating than I anticipated.
Now, I hope that I can do it again someday. I love the stage, I love microphones, but I also love writing. So, if it can't be all about me, it could be fun to write more stuff for others. It gave me the confidence boost I needed to finish some of my other writing too. It also made me real weird for like 2 days. I was clearly still all nerves so I was cracking jokes non-stop and couldn't shut up. I know that's my normal, but it was like a weird version of my normal. I've got to learn to chill out a little.
I'm left pondering musicals. When did that become my thing? I never even tried out for a musical in high school. I've never been in one. I'm not musical. Singing song parodies is not something I used to do. I can't pinpoint when it started. I think maybe when I had kids. It was just my babies and me a lot of the time and I needed to entertain myself and them. Then, at some point, I decided it was acceptable to do around adults. I'm not full blown crazy yet, I don't think I've ever done it in a workplace or around people who have just met me. But it seems like it might just be a matter of time. I'm quickly reaching a point of no shame in my silly song game. It's coming. I'm emboldened :)
