There are so many reasons for my silence this past month. There was the tough stuff that was happening in our lives, the funny stuff and the secret stuff. I can't decide which one to talk about and I don't have the energy to write all 3 at this moment.
By result of random drawing I will discuss....(drumroll please).... secret stuff.
I found out in the beginning of October that I was pregnant. Hip hip hooray!!! But... there's all these rules and junk that say you shouldn't tell people right away. I had one of those thought processes going on of "What if I tell everyone and something happens? Then I'd have to talk to everyone twice!" and "If I tell everyone now and then find out it's twins at the ultrasound I'll have to tell everyone twice!"
Basically I wanted to do as little talking as possible.
I know this is rare for me, but I didn't know how people would react. I googled it and discovered that the whole pregnant with our 4th child news doesn't always go over well. Apparently people think you're being greedy or something. Some get upset because it's not fiscally responsible. Others go with the whole population problem and point out how you're adding to it. With all of this information available I was less eager to share than ever :( I know, sad right?
However, my 3 boys want another baby at our house. Badly. I also hate secrets and surprises so as much as I was unsure how to tell the world I was in agony waiting to tell my precious children the news they had been waiting to hear.
I had my ultrasound at the beginning of this month and everything appeared normal. They only found one baby, and trust me, I made the doctor check like 5 times. I'm very serious about not liking surprises. That evening we took our sons out to dinner and broke the news. It was outstanding! Our 8 yr old twins acted cool. They smiled a lot and asked some questions but mostly were into their dinner. Our 6 year old was giddy excited. He kept saying "we're having a baby!" and "I'm going to be a big brother!" We told them that we would let them tell everyone else.
The car ride home that night is a memory I'll cherish forever. It was time for the inevitable "where do babies come from?" discussion. I had prepared for this. I read books, I polled other parents, I googled. Yet I was totally unprepared. Apparantly my sons knew that a baby comes from an egg but they were having trouble distinguishing between a chicken egg and a human egg. From there they thought it best to follow the life cycle of a bug. Curly summed up all of their different theories into one easy story:
Moms lay eggs in their tummies 12 times a year.
Sometimes the eggs die and sometimes the eggs become babies.
When an egg becomes a baby it grows in the moms tummy.
It gets food from the mommy through a tube. That's why mommies can't have caffeine. Caffeine is not good for babies.
The baby grows for 9 months and then the egg cracks open and hatches.
The mommy goes to the hospital and the doctors cut her open and take out the baby.
I didn't correct or question any of it. So far I am very content with letting them all believe in this story. I'm sure we have a lot more of these conversations heading our way and I am in no rush to have them. I have never been happier at my sons lack of curiosity.
The next day we met up with my sister and my boys shared the exciting news. She was so excited that it got me more excited. So far so good on the reactions right? The plan was to have the boys call or video chat with my parents, my other 2 sisters and my husbands sister. We planned to tell the rest of my husbands family when they came to visit for Thanksgiving. After that we'd roll out some adorable announcement on facebook to let the world at large know and bask in all of the attention.
Except our adorable little Moe couldn't keep his trap shut for even a day and blurted it out to his Grandma when we met her for lunch the day after he found out. This ruined the plan and so we hastily put together a video clip of when the boys found out and texted it to immediate family/close friends who don't check facebook and then posted it on facebook after we were sure our family had checked their text messages. The boys got to share it at school with their friends and teachers (except a lot of the staff already knew because I went to a staff baby shower right after my ultrasound and I couldn't lie when everyone asked "are you going to have another?") but the big reveal didn't quite work out.
I think we're all okay with it. Except maybe Curly who didn't realize everyone knew and tried to tell his Aunty and Uncle yesterday. The moral of this is, if one of my kids tells you I'm pregnant, pretend it's the most exciting brand new news that you've ever heard!!! Pretty please.
Points of Clarification:
Yes, this was planned. When my father-in-law passed away my husband and I both realized that we couldn't wait to have a child until the money or timing was right. It was most important for the baby to know as much of our family as possible. Also, our boys begged a lot. Begging works. Finally, have you seen/met my kids? They are freakishly adorable and amazing and we were doing the entire word a disservice to provide them with another little bundle of awesomeness.
Yes, we are hoping for a girl. I mean really?!? WE HAVE 3 BOYS. Yes, those were yelling capitol letters. We will find out the gender in February and due to my hatred of surprises we will spread the word as soon as we know. The good news is that we are as close to experts as you are ever going to find when it comes to boys so either way this baby will be a blessing.
I am due in June 2013. It will be a planned c-section unless an act of God occurs.
Yes, I threw out all our baby stuff. I am a very giving person/hater of clutter so I regifted a lot of our baby stuff to friends and family as soon as we were done with it. I saved the big stuff for a long time but I had a little breakdown after trying to get pregnant for a year and having it not work out where I gave away the rest of our baby stuff. At this point we have some very old boys infant size clothes and a breast pump that I need to make sure still works. I'm thinking this will make it a much bigger adventure and you gotta love adventure :)
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Monday, October 8, 2012
Reliving my childhood
There were a lot of great things about growing up in Montana.
I'm sure you're imagining hiking, camping, boating, lakes, mountains and all the amazing outdoor brilliance that Big Sky Country has to offer.
No?
Maybe you're in the camp where Montana brings to mind teepees, indians, prairies, gold miners and one room school houses. You're outdated by a good 60 years or more but... sure, we had some of those things too.
No?
Are you one of "those" people who thinks of moutain lions, bears, rattlesnakes, avalanches, fires and floods? We had those things too but c'mon! That's why they teach survival skills in Montana public schools.
(p.s. that public school education has made me rock at this game:
)
Well, it's none of the above.
Having a store within walking distance of my house is what made me relive my childhood today. I have been eagerly anticipating the opening of this store for well over a year:
Today was the grand opening and blessing ceremony (FYI we bless all our new buildings in Hawaii) The Kona winds were a blowin' (this means hot sticky voggy valley of sun filled death IMO) but my sister and I braved the weather and took my 3 boys for their first walk to the neighborhood store.
I'm sure you're imagining hiking, camping, boating, lakes, mountains and all the amazing outdoor brilliance that Big Sky Country has to offer.
No?
Maybe you're in the camp where Montana brings to mind teepees, indians, prairies, gold miners and one room school houses. You're outdated by a good 60 years or more but... sure, we had some of those things too.
No?
Are you one of "those" people who thinks of moutain lions, bears, rattlesnakes, avalanches, fires and floods? We had those things too but c'mon! That's why they teach survival skills in Montana public schools.
(p.s. that public school education has made me rock at this game:
)Well, it's none of the above.
Having a store within walking distance of my house is what made me relive my childhood today. I have been eagerly anticipating the opening of this store for well over a year:
Today was the grand opening and blessing ceremony (FYI we bless all our new buildings in Hawaii) The Kona winds were a blowin' (this means hot sticky voggy valley of sun filled death IMO) but my sister and I braved the weather and took my 3 boys for their first walk to the neighborhood store.
Pretty walking path right? :)
In 20 short minutes we made it to the jam packed madhouse that was our local Longs Drug Store. We had free ice cream, free chocolate covered macadamia nuts and each bought a drink to have on the walk back. Sound magical?
It might not sound amazing, but it was. I relived the first place I remember living. A big two story house in uptown Kalispell, MT. I was only about 3 or 4 at the time but our family would walk to the local mini mart and get gigantic sodas, red nuts, boston baked beans candy and 5 cent gummy worms. The butcher shop called "Meat Supply" was another favorite place to walk. They had a candy corner and the prices ranged from 1 cent to 50 cents. I felt so rich going there to spend my money and never regretted a single Now and Later pack that I purchased.
When I started preschool we moved to Evergreen, MT and lived on my grandparents property in a yellow and brown trailer. This is the home where I grew up. I lived there until I left home at 18 to go to college. There was a gas station a short 15 minute walk from my house. It was across the 4 lane highway from the Jr. High School (this Jr. High was for 5th-8th graders). You knew you were trusted when mom & dad allowed you to go the gas station. Candy is about the only thing I ever purchased there, but it was awesome candy. They had the soda flavored gum with the liquid center, warheads that I would feed to my dog to see his reaction, 5 cent candies that tasted gross but were so cheap that you bought them anyways, Cows tails and most importantly Zotz. This was also my skittle supplier. I needed skittles as soon as my friend April taught me that if you fill your mouth with them you can spit the rainbow. This was often our ladylike activity as we wandered the neighborhood.
Growing up in Montana with my family was great.
Most of my memories are not of candy and shopping but all the ones that are are happy memories that make me smile for days. I can't wait until I can trust my boys enough to let them walk to the store alone. I look forward to family walks together with a little treat of some kind from our neighborhood store. I envision using less gas and walking or biking to get those household sundries that run out at the most inopportune times. I have high hopes of awesomeness for our new store but no matter what I will hold today in my heart forever as an amazing memory and important moment where I relived a piece of my childhood with my boys.
These pics are unrelated to my sappy story but still should be shared. Have you ever seen an ice cream sundae section? Yeah, apparently we have that.
Also, the grand opening sales consisted of rice, soda, bottled water, vegetable oil and feminine pads.
Weird opening sales right?
But people were buying the stuff by the cart load and there was an entire aisle for each sale product. I had to snap a picture of the most rice and vegetable oil that I have ever seen!
Crazy right?
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
The Family Plan - Part 2
It's the beginning of October and we've been on the "family plan" for 2 months. I'm going to reuse my format from last month but really I should just take minutes from our monthly family meeting, it would be more amusing.
For any of you just tuning in, my family is taking a year to save money, learn new skills, solve some of our family problems and spend more time together. We now have monthly family meetings and parliamentary procedure (in its most rudimentary form) is alive and well in our house. Let me tell you, you haven't lived until you hear a six year old with a speech impediment make a motion and ask for yea's and nay's. It's veeeeeeery hard to vote against him!
September Focus - De-clutter our house/schedule
August Focus - Work together as a family
GOAL #1: Save Money.
There is supposed to be no spending money on anything not 100% necessary. I budget $100 a week for groceries and $200 for household expenses for the month and then there's all of our regular boring bills. Our boys are now responsible for earning their own money and purchasing anything they want. We only supply needs.
Update: We added in a monthly family meeting to discuss once a year expenses like birthdays, holidays, safety inspections etc... and to discuss how everything is going and what changes we should make. We also gave my husband a $100 a month lunch budget for October and added another $30 into the school lunch/breakfast budget (which was at $120) Finally, we got my entire side of the family on board for a no cost (except for shipping) christmas.
RESULTS: We're getting the hang of it.
The weekly food budget has become easy. One of the boys helps me meal plan over the weekend and we make a list and I grocery shop every Monday. I try to take a child and have them use the calculator (gotta utilize those real life math moments right?) if our schedule permits.
It's actually going so well that I come in under $100 often. But then I'm all excited that I came in under and I walk around the store looking for other snacks etc... to spend it on. I have some seriously messed up stuff going on in my head! This month I'm going to track every time I come in under and purposefully not spend it to try to break this habit. I mean seriously, who does that?!?!?
We've learned that our estimates are not very accurate for once a year activities. For instance, we budgeted $100 for Moe's 6th birthday. With food, presents etc... we spent closer to $200. We budgeted $200 for the county fair and we spent $160. We probably shoudl have treated it more like a budget and just stopped when we reached the alotted amount but that in itself has been a hard habit to re-learn.
We decided to try giving a budget for eating out. We made it $100 for the month. Then we started tennis 2x a week for the twins and our schedule went haywire. This meant that we sometimes ran out of time for my beautifully planned meals and had to eat out. We ended up spending $200 :( This made me sad, very sad.
Turns out my head is wonky in this area too. We may revisit the eating out budget and try the $ envelope system but for now we took a vote and we're back to zero meals out. I seem to only be able to handle all or nothing, give me a compromise and I will completely ignore it. This was an unfortunate thing to discover about myself.
The best part of this remains the boys purchasing things for themselves. Movies, toys, snacks etc... are all paid for from their earnings. They are learning hard, but valuable, lessons. They want to spend it the minute they get it and they are not fans of working to earn extra during the month. I feel the same way when I get my paycheck :) At our family meeting tonite we were discussing where the money would come from for added expenses like extra school lunches etc... My oldest son made the best comment, "Well I want school lunch but I love going on trips so this is a tough decision..." There is definitely some understanding regarding the value of money and saving. Two of the boys have now lost their wallets and the contents of the wallets (one had $19!!! A fortune to an 8 yr old) which also served as its own hard lesson.
We're not making our monthly savings goal yet but we're getting a lot closer and we are all becoming more aware of where the money goes so I am happy with this part of the experiment. Getting creative with handmade/re-gifted christmas presents is down right thrilling in my book. I love a good project! We had a family brainstorming session and everyone came up with great ideas. I wish I could share them but my family reads this blog so it would sort of ruin the surprise. My husband was not thrilled with the prospect of making presents for 8 people but even he has jumped on board and has spent the last three nights working furiously to get it over with (he has a wonderful grinchy quality, don't you think?)
GOAL #2: Chores.
Here's a picture of one of the chore charts.
These are definitely still a work in progress(and well used. Do you like the wrinkles?). They are all similar but not exactly the same (one son has more pet responsibilities, another has a lot of medications he needs to remember etc...)I know some might seem silly but the goal is for me to nag less and for them to be more aware of how they need to help to make our household work. Personal accountability and all that...
At the beginning of the month they each receive a mason jar with $30. If the chores are done they get to keep their dollar for the day. If not, they lose the dollar. They don't get the money until the end of the month. Here's a picture of the extra chores that can be done daily for immediate money.
Since our goal for September was to de-clutter we made a family clutter challenge. The idea was if we each focused on one room daily for the month we would be able to de-clutter it and to figure out who/what was causing the clutter to pile up. Here's a picture of that chart:
RESULTS: Hmmmm, needs tweeking.
We changed things up a bit. The immediate $ chore list was not being utilized so now we voice that a job needs to be done. If someone volunteers, they get paid. If no one volunteers, someone is assigned and there is no payment. We're trying to teach them to look for needs and offer to meet those needs.
I don't think it's working.
At our family meeting tonite I asked why they only made $11 out of their $30. The overwhelming response is that they need more reminders. I feel like I'm already giving a lot of those so we revamped the system...AGAIN...
I will now remind them to cross off their list in the morning and at night. Instead of policing rooms etc... to make sure chores are done I will check to see if the list is crossed off to determine if they get to keep their $1. This option lends itself to dishonesty so we had a discussion that crossing something off that you didn't do is a form of lying (we took a vote to decide if we all thought it was lying, only one kid voted no). It was then decided by everyone that if you got caught crossing off illegally you receive the lying punishment. (the lying punishment = grounded for 1 week, or 4 chores chosen by mommy/daddy to be completed immediately, your choice).
We also discussed the "accidental" cross off. You know, the one where you see the chore on the list and cross it off as you go to do it. Then you get distracted and never do the chore. WE NEVER CROSS OFF UNTIL WE HAVE COMPLETED A TASK. I'm not sure if I can stress this one enough.
I am psychic. I know the "accidental" cross off is going to happen.
The family clutter challenge did not go well (in case you couldn't tell from the picture). We all kind of gave up half way. Well, except Moe. He loved it and declared the stairs/entryway to be the easiest chore ever and that no one ever leaves stuff there. We all gave it a sort of effort but to do it everyday was impossible. My husband was gone on a trip at the beginning of the month and that whole tennis thing was starting so we didn't even start until 10 days in.
For this next month we all got new areas and we set aside 1 hour twice a week to work on the clutter. If you finish early you are supposed to find someone to help. The idea is to work together to conquer the clutter beast. If we succeed we each get to go shopping on amazon for one new item. I realize we're rewarding the clutter removal with new clutter but that's what we voted on. One small step at a time.
We also added a dedicated hour every Sunday to the weekend chores.
If these are accomplished it's an extra $1 in the jar each weekend. I am not loving this either but the weekend chore chart was being completely ignored so this is the first effort to get some focus back on it.
GOAL #3: Fitness
This one is simple. Eat better. Exercise more. Do more family fit activities.
RESULTS: On again/Off again
The eating better is definitely getting there. Eating at home and meal planning means a lot more fruits and vegetables. Going back to the eating out ban should further the healthy initiative.
I am making it to the gym 2x a week (thanks to my workout partner!!). My goal this month is 4x a month but the month started with fall break so we'll see if I can rebound or not. The boys and I played tennis together and only one kids cried so that was a win.
There's a convenience store opening close to our neighborhood so we took a family run to see just how close it was. By run, I mean drag the six year old while being dragged by our two dogs. We walked 3 quarters of it. Good news is its only a 10 minute trip each way. And only 100 people we know probably saw our ridiculous band of misfits. From now on it will be a trip for just myself and the dogs or just the twins and I. The 6 yr old is going to have to train at home and work up to the 10 minute jog.
I attempted to take Larry and our puppy Chewbacca on a bike ride. I wanted to teach Chewbacca how to run alongside a bike. This was an easy job with our other dog so I didn't even give it a second thought.
It probably deserved a third and fourth thought at least.
Chewbacca is easily 5 or 6 times the size of our dog Leia. That means that he can easily pull my bike and possibly dislocate my arm. I did not account for this and ended up going head first over the handlebars and having the bike flip in the air and land on top of me. If I had one of those helmet cams I would have totally won AFV. Does anyone still watch America's Funniest Videos?
But... I didnt let go of the dog and I was able to get up so we'll call this a win too. It was an interesting bike ride that I am not looking forward to repeating.
We mostly sucked at the family exercise stuff, I'm hoping to make it a focus in November or December.
CONCLUSION: It takes a lot more time than I thought to develop new habits. Right now I'm celebrating that we're becoming more aware of our bad habits. Its a sort of sad celebration. I am looking forward to a month where we completely kill one of our goals and make a solid change in our lives. That could happen right?
Stay tuned for The "family plan" - part 3 at the end of October.
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Goals
My friend and neighbor who has 6, yes 6, amazing children, often has outstanding Facebook posts. We don't hang out that often... really, its almost never now that our bunco group has disbanded. (you know how that goes, right?) But, I feel that false sense of closeness and familiarity that only a Facebook friendship can bring (j/k... sort of)
Her posts usually have a delightful glimpse into her children or her life. For instance, today she posted a picture of her oldest sons (I think he's 12) "to do" list from a few months ago. (I asked her if I could share it with you. Adorable right?!)
It got me thinking of a writing project for my boys (they all hate writing so I have to get sneaky with this stuff. Grocery lists, addressing envelopes, mandatory pen pals etc... I take what I can get.)
So tonite we began our discussion on goals. At first everything they thought of was something that could be accomplished this evening. So we decided to write some life goals, cause thats important when you're ages 6 and 8 right? Its actually part of the Kindergarten curriculum for Hawaii's public schools to teach goals and attempt to accomplish them. So, as you can see I am clearly doing this all for them and their education. Or it could be for the sheer unadulterated cuteness and ahhhhhhhh factor of it all. And maybe a chance to get crafty and pin a project on the wall, I love excuses to get crafty and pin stuff on the wall.
At first I asked each boy to write 10 goals. This promptly began the always pleasant negotiation process where they break me down until I'm a shadow of my former self, scared to ever open my mouth again. Then they go in for the kill and I meekly agree to whatever will make the negotiations stop. It's 3 against 1 and they are formidable opponents.
Its started with -
"What about 2?"
"Will you take 1 and a half?"
That was just the warmup offers. They knew my defenses weren't lowered yet. Then began -
"Do we each have to write 10 or can it be 10 altogether?"
"What if we just tell you 10 and don't have to write anything?"
"Okay, what about we tell you 15 and only write our top 1?"
At this point my choice is to take the least offensive offer or suffer through the completely ridiculous and outlandish ones that are sure to come next.
We settled on a cumulative 10.
The brainstorming amazingness began and we jotted down what we could as the creative juices began to flow. Then things got silly and the goals became things like "sleep for 5 seconds and set the record for shortest sleep" and we collectively decided (I yelled "enough" and then said "we'll continue tomorrow" through gritted teeth) to continue the project tomorrow. (No, I did not overreact. They all were giggling incessantly which sounds cute and kills eardrums. Also, I only put the cute weird goal, the list of utterly ridiculous and annoying ones is just too long. Finally they were all shouting and timing each other to break the record for shortest sleep)
Don't worry, I'll pull out the stickers and glitter glue (or something equally artsy fartsy and outstandingly enthralling) and get them back on track first thing tomorrow. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping for some stellar garage playroom artwork to come out of this project.
**Drumroll Please**
Here's what they have so far:
1. Make an invention (Larry)
2. Own every kind of Lego ever made (Curly)
3. Build a monster city of paper and cardboard (Moe)
4. Write a song (Larry)
I can't wait to see what they add to the list tomorrow :)
What are your kids goals? Ask them and then make sure you tell me all of the adorable/inspiring details!!!!
Her posts usually have a delightful glimpse into her children or her life. For instance, today she posted a picture of her oldest sons (I think he's 12) "to do" list from a few months ago. (I asked her if I could share it with you. Adorable right?!)
It got me thinking of a writing project for my boys (they all hate writing so I have to get sneaky with this stuff. Grocery lists, addressing envelopes, mandatory pen pals etc... I take what I can get.)
So tonite we began our discussion on goals. At first everything they thought of was something that could be accomplished this evening. So we decided to write some life goals, cause thats important when you're ages 6 and 8 right? Its actually part of the Kindergarten curriculum for Hawaii's public schools to teach goals and attempt to accomplish them. So, as you can see I am clearly doing this all for them and their education. Or it could be for the sheer unadulterated cuteness and ahhhhhhhh factor of it all. And maybe a chance to get crafty and pin a project on the wall, I love excuses to get crafty and pin stuff on the wall.
At first I asked each boy to write 10 goals. This promptly began the always pleasant negotiation process where they break me down until I'm a shadow of my former self, scared to ever open my mouth again. Then they go in for the kill and I meekly agree to whatever will make the negotiations stop. It's 3 against 1 and they are formidable opponents.
Its started with -
"What about 2?"
"Will you take 1 and a half?"
That was just the warmup offers. They knew my defenses weren't lowered yet. Then began -
"Do we each have to write 10 or can it be 10 altogether?"
"What if we just tell you 10 and don't have to write anything?"
"Okay, what about we tell you 15 and only write our top 1?"
At this point my choice is to take the least offensive offer or suffer through the completely ridiculous and outlandish ones that are sure to come next.
We settled on a cumulative 10.
The brainstorming amazingness began and we jotted down what we could as the creative juices began to flow. Then things got silly and the goals became things like "sleep for 5 seconds and set the record for shortest sleep" and we collectively decided (I yelled "enough" and then said "we'll continue tomorrow" through gritted teeth) to continue the project tomorrow. (No, I did not overreact. They all were giggling incessantly which sounds cute and kills eardrums. Also, I only put the cute weird goal, the list of utterly ridiculous and annoying ones is just too long. Finally they were all shouting and timing each other to break the record for shortest sleep)
Don't worry, I'll pull out the stickers and glitter glue (or something equally artsy fartsy and outstandingly enthralling) and get them back on track first thing tomorrow. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping for some stellar garage playroom artwork to come out of this project.
**Drumroll Please**
Here's what they have so far:
1. Make an invention (Larry)
2. Own every kind of Lego ever made (Curly)
3. Build a monster city of paper and cardboard (Moe)
4. Write a song (Larry)
I can't wait to see what they add to the list tomorrow :)
What are your kids goals? Ask them and then make sure you tell me all of the adorable/inspiring details!!!!
Sunday, September 2, 2012
Mind blowing news!
It has officially been one month since I last chewed my nails.
Pretty sure I would throw a party to celebrate this important milestone but we're doing this whole save money thing soooooo......
Maybe I''ll get a tattoo? Of what though? A nail biter? A plaque that reads "one bad habit cured every 30 years"?
Scratch that.
Maybe I''ll just pat myself on the back :)
Now, instead of biting my nails I peel my nail polish. It's great fun but probably not great on the nails. Oh well, you win some you lose some. I like to make it a game to see if I can peel it in one piece. My boys like to wear the polish peels like they're fake nails. Someday pictures of this will come in handy.
Minorly obsessed with glitter nail polish. No, I did not just turn 5. I have rules to keep it classy. It needs to have large glitter pieces, be multi colored and cost less than $4. I even googled glitter polish to learn the tips and tricks. This led to me making my first ever purchase of black nail polish. Soooooo rebel right?
But, lest my head get to big with my newly acquired nail skillz, my sister jumped on the glitter bandwagon and is in an all out war to outdo me. She's much more dedicated than me and has a lot more free time/less gross things boys do and have that ruin nails so I'm sure it's a fair fight.
Now what to do about my husband? He's a nailbiter too and glitter does not become him.
The "family plan" - part 1
I'm sure you've all been waiting with baited breath to hear the nitty gritty details of the grand, amazing and somewhat fantastical "family plan" that I have been hinting about on Facebook for the last month. If we're not Facebook friends than you can thank me now for not giving you baited breath. It sounds gross.
Here's the deal. A couple of big things happened this summer:
1. My mother-in-law returned from Europe with a plan to get us all (all - as in our family. Our family - as in my sister in law and her husband and my brother in law and his family plus our crew) to go to Europe next year. I'm not sure if it will work out or not but it's definitely leaning towards yes. Europe is not next door neighbors with Hawaii so we have some serious money to save if it's going to stay in our realm of possibility. So part 1 of our plan became save $, lots and lots of $. I figure if Europe doesn't work out we'll have at least saved enough for an awesome vacation here in the old US of A.
2. I read a book:
and it got me thinking. One of the main things that I got out of it was that we need to prepare our kids to become adults. I do a lot for my boys because its just easier but that is really doing a disservice to them. So, I took a few things from her book and added them to the family plan. Most importantly, chores and having a monthly focus.
3. I am finally trying to get back on track of taking care of myself. In order to do this my family has to give me some time to myself and make some changes because I can't "go healthy" all alone. 1.5 yrs ago I was on track and had lost almost 30 lbs. My parents split up and my father in law got a tumor and died suddenly and my world shattered. I completely gave up all focus on me and it has taken me longer than anticipated to get back where I needed to be mentally. Lucky for me life is full of do-overs so I will live, learn and try again. Still not sure where I am mentally (it's always been questionable) but time (and hopefully my pants size) will tell soon enough.
August 1st marked the day we began our grand plan. The month of August was simple and straightforward.
August Focus - Work together as a family
GOAL #1: Save Money.
There would be no spending money on anything not 100% necessary. I budgeted $100 a week for groceries and $200 for household expenses for the month and then all of our regular boring bills. Our boys are now responsible for earning their own money and purchasing anything they want. We only supply needs.
RESULTS: Better than expected.
The hardest part of this was no going out to eat. We eat out way to often for convenience/laziness sake. I do not like to cook so we ate a lot of sandwiches.
Going to have to work on that.
Don't worry, I pinned all kinds of beautiful meal planning ideas on Pinterest, just couldn't muster the energy to try any of them. One more PB & J meal and I'll be there, I'm sure of it.
Alongside this was the fact that we all had to make home lunch every day.
They all thought I was going to make the lunches.
hahahahahahahahahahahaha.
You'd think they know me better by now!
My husband had the hardest time, going out to lunch is sometimes part of his work and I know he felt a little left out eating by himself in the break room. My sons mostly rocked at making lunches. We've been learning the 5 food groups for well over a year and they know how to pack a balanced meal. We had a few randoms thrown in like when Larry packed a pound of plain cold spaghetti noodles as his lunch but mostly I was proud of them (please note that I work at their school so it was extra embarassing when everyone saw his lunch. Also extra motivating for me to not let it happen again). We found that we just didnt get around to packing them the night before so we started getting up earlier in the morning to make it happen. We also discovered that we cant get that organized on Mondays so the boys all got a pass to have school lunch every Monday. With the 3 boys eating breakfast at school, milk every day at lunch and lunch every Monday it added another $120 to our food bill for the month.
We had a lot of unplanned expenses so it was sort of a win/lose month over all. We saved a lot, like a lot! But, we spent all but a couple hundred on the unexpected expenses. At least we didnt add debt right? :) I was surprised to find how much my boys ask for and loved being able to say yes to everything...as long as they had their own money to spend :) It was one of those rare moments where you get to be nicely evil :) Turns out I LOVE/NEED to shop so this month was hard for me. I tweaked the household budget to buy a few things that were wants and felt very guilty afterwards. Luckily I needed to shop quite a bit for work this month so the shopping beast inside of me was soothed momentarily. It may eat me alive in September.
GOAL #2: Chores.
The boys all received laminated chore lists with morning chores, nighttime chores and weekend chores (Moes had pictures since he doesn't read yet). I would take pictures but they are all sleeping and if they wake up I have to deal with it so that's not going to happen.
At the beginning of the month they each received a mason jar with $30. Every morning I checked their rooms and if the chores were done they got to keep their dollar for the day. If not, they lost the dollar. They could not have the money until the end of the month. There was also a list of approximately 30 chores that could be done daily to earn immediate money ranging in amounts from $.50 - $5.00.
Their chores were mostly basic stuff like get dressed, brush your teeth, make your bed, feed pets, take pets outside, pick up bathroom floor, empty trash etc... The weekend chores were harder because they have more time and included things like wash, dry and put clean bedding on your bed, sort dirty laundry, put clean laundry away, wash windows/mirrors in your bedroom and a few others. There was no real punishment or reward for these I just wanted them to learn how to do them.
RESULTS: Mixed. Very mixed.
I thought the immediate $ chore list idea would get pounced on but it seemed to only get used under duress or when threatened. They also quickly remembered the power of 3 and did the least amount of work possible and pooled money whenever they wanted something.
Yesterday the boys excitedly counted their wait til the end of the month $. Larry had $11, Curly had $15 and Moe had $12. I forgot to check some days and had a really hard day being the policeman. It seemed to get a lot easier for them in the last week of the month and I think they're finally getting the hang/routine of it. Their rooms are no longer stinky and I can see the floor at all times. We'll fine tune as we go and count this in the win category. It turned out that we either don't have enough time in our day or waste too much time, either way it was almost impossible to ever get everything done in a day.
GOAL #3: Fitness
This one was simple. Eat better. Exercise more. Do more family fit activities. We had reached near negative levels in these areas so everything was bound to be a win.
RESULTS: Sweaty
I haven't stepped on the scale yet but no McDonalds has to have helped a little (although the Costco size bag a gummy bears probably didn't). We managed one family fitness outing to the track and it will go down in history as a magical moment for me, an entertaining moment for my boys, and pure torture for my husband.
We'll look into other family fitness options.
I finally joined the gym.
I have flip flopped on this idea for years and hate the idea of paying for something I could get for free. That being said, I won't let the money be wasted and I have done my cost/benefit analysis and determined that anything less than 3 days a week is unacceptable.
I was very lucky to find a workout buddy that finishes work at noon like I do and can listen to me talk forever (she has a lot of patience!) so we've been doing pretty good at getting an hour of cardio in every Tuesday and Thursday. I have been walking the pool while my boys swim for about an hour once or twice a week as well. I like super awesome doing this ridiculous energy so thats always a plus.
I tried going to work out by myself and hated it. Gotta put my big girl pants on and try that again at some point but for now I am avoiding it. No courage to take a class etc... and still need to try out the childcare option but even this slow start is better than the sitting I was doing.
Taught (I use this term very very loosely) Moe how to ride a bike which provided several days of back breaking exercise for both of us. He's halfway there and has finally stopped crying every time he sees a bike so I envision mile long family rides in our near future. Planning to train with Larry for Valley Isle Roadrunner races but haven't started yet.
CONCLUSION: Now you know the grand plan. Go clean up your baited breath.
August was bumpy but there were glimmers of hope. We had a family meeting this week to discuss our results and tweak for the next month. I have more to share on the not eating out and not spending $ but I'm saving it all up in my head to hopefully use it as guest posts on my friends blog www.lessstuffmorehappy.com (how's that for putting her on the spot?)
Stay tuned for The "family plan" - part 2 at the end of August.
Here's the deal. A couple of big things happened this summer:
1. My mother-in-law returned from Europe with a plan to get us all (all - as in our family. Our family - as in my sister in law and her husband and my brother in law and his family plus our crew) to go to Europe next year. I'm not sure if it will work out or not but it's definitely leaning towards yes. Europe is not next door neighbors with Hawaii so we have some serious money to save if it's going to stay in our realm of possibility. So part 1 of our plan became save $, lots and lots of $. I figure if Europe doesn't work out we'll have at least saved enough for an awesome vacation here in the old US of A.
2. I read a book:
and it got me thinking. One of the main things that I got out of it was that we need to prepare our kids to become adults. I do a lot for my boys because its just easier but that is really doing a disservice to them. So, I took a few things from her book and added them to the family plan. Most importantly, chores and having a monthly focus.3. I am finally trying to get back on track of taking care of myself. In order to do this my family has to give me some time to myself and make some changes because I can't "go healthy" all alone. 1.5 yrs ago I was on track and had lost almost 30 lbs. My parents split up and my father in law got a tumor and died suddenly and my world shattered. I completely gave up all focus on me and it has taken me longer than anticipated to get back where I needed to be mentally. Lucky for me life is full of do-overs so I will live, learn and try again. Still not sure where I am mentally (it's always been questionable) but time (and hopefully my pants size) will tell soon enough.
August 1st marked the day we began our grand plan. The month of August was simple and straightforward.
August Focus - Work together as a family
GOAL #1: Save Money.
There would be no spending money on anything not 100% necessary. I budgeted $100 a week for groceries and $200 for household expenses for the month and then all of our regular boring bills. Our boys are now responsible for earning their own money and purchasing anything they want. We only supply needs.
RESULTS: Better than expected.
The hardest part of this was no going out to eat. We eat out way to often for convenience/laziness sake. I do not like to cook so we ate a lot of sandwiches.
Going to have to work on that.
Don't worry, I pinned all kinds of beautiful meal planning ideas on Pinterest, just couldn't muster the energy to try any of them. One more PB & J meal and I'll be there, I'm sure of it.
Alongside this was the fact that we all had to make home lunch every day.
They all thought I was going to make the lunches.
hahahahahahahahahahahaha.
You'd think they know me better by now!
My husband had the hardest time, going out to lunch is sometimes part of his work and I know he felt a little left out eating by himself in the break room. My sons mostly rocked at making lunches. We've been learning the 5 food groups for well over a year and they know how to pack a balanced meal. We had a few randoms thrown in like when Larry packed a pound of plain cold spaghetti noodles as his lunch but mostly I was proud of them (please note that I work at their school so it was extra embarassing when everyone saw his lunch. Also extra motivating for me to not let it happen again). We found that we just didnt get around to packing them the night before so we started getting up earlier in the morning to make it happen. We also discovered that we cant get that organized on Mondays so the boys all got a pass to have school lunch every Monday. With the 3 boys eating breakfast at school, milk every day at lunch and lunch every Monday it added another $120 to our food bill for the month.
We had a lot of unplanned expenses so it was sort of a win/lose month over all. We saved a lot, like a lot! But, we spent all but a couple hundred on the unexpected expenses. At least we didnt add debt right? :) I was surprised to find how much my boys ask for and loved being able to say yes to everything...as long as they had their own money to spend :) It was one of those rare moments where you get to be nicely evil :) Turns out I LOVE/NEED to shop so this month was hard for me. I tweaked the household budget to buy a few things that were wants and felt very guilty afterwards. Luckily I needed to shop quite a bit for work this month so the shopping beast inside of me was soothed momentarily. It may eat me alive in September.
GOAL #2: Chores.
The boys all received laminated chore lists with morning chores, nighttime chores and weekend chores (Moes had pictures since he doesn't read yet). I would take pictures but they are all sleeping and if they wake up I have to deal with it so that's not going to happen.
At the beginning of the month they each received a mason jar with $30. Every morning I checked their rooms and if the chores were done they got to keep their dollar for the day. If not, they lost the dollar. They could not have the money until the end of the month. There was also a list of approximately 30 chores that could be done daily to earn immediate money ranging in amounts from $.50 - $5.00.
Their chores were mostly basic stuff like get dressed, brush your teeth, make your bed, feed pets, take pets outside, pick up bathroom floor, empty trash etc... The weekend chores were harder because they have more time and included things like wash, dry and put clean bedding on your bed, sort dirty laundry, put clean laundry away, wash windows/mirrors in your bedroom and a few others. There was no real punishment or reward for these I just wanted them to learn how to do them.
RESULTS: Mixed. Very mixed.
I thought the immediate $ chore list idea would get pounced on but it seemed to only get used under duress or when threatened. They also quickly remembered the power of 3 and did the least amount of work possible and pooled money whenever they wanted something.
Yesterday the boys excitedly counted their wait til the end of the month $. Larry had $11, Curly had $15 and Moe had $12. I forgot to check some days and had a really hard day being the policeman. It seemed to get a lot easier for them in the last week of the month and I think they're finally getting the hang/routine of it. Their rooms are no longer stinky and I can see the floor at all times. We'll fine tune as we go and count this in the win category. It turned out that we either don't have enough time in our day or waste too much time, either way it was almost impossible to ever get everything done in a day.
GOAL #3: Fitness
This one was simple. Eat better. Exercise more. Do more family fit activities. We had reached near negative levels in these areas so everything was bound to be a win.
RESULTS: Sweaty
I haven't stepped on the scale yet but no McDonalds has to have helped a little (although the Costco size bag a gummy bears probably didn't). We managed one family fitness outing to the track and it will go down in history as a magical moment for me, an entertaining moment for my boys, and pure torture for my husband.
We'll look into other family fitness options.
I finally joined the gym.
I have flip flopped on this idea for years and hate the idea of paying for something I could get for free. That being said, I won't let the money be wasted and I have done my cost/benefit analysis and determined that anything less than 3 days a week is unacceptable.
I was very lucky to find a workout buddy that finishes work at noon like I do and can listen to me talk forever (she has a lot of patience!) so we've been doing pretty good at getting an hour of cardio in every Tuesday and Thursday. I have been walking the pool while my boys swim for about an hour once or twice a week as well. I like super awesome doing this ridiculous energy so thats always a plus.
I tried going to work out by myself and hated it. Gotta put my big girl pants on and try that again at some point but for now I am avoiding it. No courage to take a class etc... and still need to try out the childcare option but even this slow start is better than the sitting I was doing.
Taught (I use this term very very loosely) Moe how to ride a bike which provided several days of back breaking exercise for both of us. He's halfway there and has finally stopped crying every time he sees a bike so I envision mile long family rides in our near future. Planning to train with Larry for Valley Isle Roadrunner races but haven't started yet.
CONCLUSION: Now you know the grand plan. Go clean up your baited breath.
August was bumpy but there were glimmers of hope. We had a family meeting this week to discuss our results and tweak for the next month. I have more to share on the not eating out and not spending $ but I'm saving it all up in my head to hopefully use it as guest posts on my friends blog www.lessstuffmorehappy.com (how's that for putting her on the spot?)
Stay tuned for The "family plan" - part 2 at the end of August.
Monday, August 27, 2012
5:30 is magical
Well, as magical as that particular ungodly hour of the morning can possibly be.
I know this will probably jinx it but waking up the household at 5:30am worked shockingly well.
For frame of reference please note that our mornings had been starting at 6:00am and most often included, crying, yelling, dog poo, misplaced urine, physically placing half dressed children in the car and in one instance one of my sons bringing a pound of plain spaghetti noodles for lunch.
So we made a pact to get up earlier. Of course I forgot to reset the boys alarms and they have no clue that an alarm needs to be set so I had to make the rounds and wake everyone up.
My alarm went off at 5am and I ignored it til 5:30 and then remembered the whole wake up earlier plan, leapt out of bed, fell over a box and then went to wake up the household.
I woke up Moe who cried, ignored me and curled up in a very naked ball in the corner (i'm sure I sent him to bed in pajamas). Went downstairs and woke up Larry who screamed in terror ( I swear I just popped my head in the room with a cheery, "time to get up") and discovered that the puppy who had been unattended for approx 3 minutes the night before had managed to poo on Larrys floor during that 3 minutes. The sad part of this was that Larry must have noticed and just gone to bed leaving it on the floor for me to find in the morning. Finally I popped in on Curly and did my best to refrain from pointing and laughing at him as he lay sleeping in his satin sleep mask on his satin blanket in his satin robe. (to be fair I only purchased the blanket. The robe was from a halloween costume and the mask was found laying around our house and given to him to stop bad dreams etc...)
Next up was teaching Curly how to let the puppy out of his kennel so that he wouldnt pee all over the house. My dear son was baffled and insistent that he always opened the door to outside first and didnt understand why it was happening (he took over the job three pee filled days ago.) So I watched him open the door, stand in front of the door to open the kennel and completely block the dog from going outside. I yanked him out of the way, got the dog outside and then held a brief kennel opening class until we were on the same page for how it should be done.
It was now 5:40am and I had criers, screamers, whiners, poop and pee. Devastated I stomped back upstairs to get myself ready and let whatever was bound to happen, happen. By 6am I was ready to go and sat down to a leisurely breakfast and time to check my email and facebook. At 6:20am Larry came inside from waiting in the car(I thought he was feeding the cat) wanting to know if we were ever planning to leave? Turns out he had gotten himself ready in record time. At this point Moe ambled up the stairs in his boxers mumbling about getting distracted and how he knew he was almost out of time.
At 6:30am all three were ready, wearing shoes and even had brushed teeth and hair, and by 6:40am we left for school. I'm not sure we can expect this level of awesomeness everyday but oh dear Lord I thank you for the fact that there was no yelling and very minimal poo, urine, crying and zero half dressed children or bizarre lunch choices. All that from 30 extra minutes in the morning. Don't worry, I'll keep you posted on whether we maintain the magic or if I have children falling asleep in their soup. Do you have a magic morning routine tip for me?
I know this will probably jinx it but waking up the household at 5:30am worked shockingly well.
For frame of reference please note that our mornings had been starting at 6:00am and most often included, crying, yelling, dog poo, misplaced urine, physically placing half dressed children in the car and in one instance one of my sons bringing a pound of plain spaghetti noodles for lunch.
So we made a pact to get up earlier. Of course I forgot to reset the boys alarms and they have no clue that an alarm needs to be set so I had to make the rounds and wake everyone up.
My alarm went off at 5am and I ignored it til 5:30 and then remembered the whole wake up earlier plan, leapt out of bed, fell over a box and then went to wake up the household.
I woke up Moe who cried, ignored me and curled up in a very naked ball in the corner (i'm sure I sent him to bed in pajamas). Went downstairs and woke up Larry who screamed in terror ( I swear I just popped my head in the room with a cheery, "time to get up") and discovered that the puppy who had been unattended for approx 3 minutes the night before had managed to poo on Larrys floor during that 3 minutes. The sad part of this was that Larry must have noticed and just gone to bed leaving it on the floor for me to find in the morning. Finally I popped in on Curly and did my best to refrain from pointing and laughing at him as he lay sleeping in his satin sleep mask on his satin blanket in his satin robe. (to be fair I only purchased the blanket. The robe was from a halloween costume and the mask was found laying around our house and given to him to stop bad dreams etc...)
Next up was teaching Curly how to let the puppy out of his kennel so that he wouldnt pee all over the house. My dear son was baffled and insistent that he always opened the door to outside first and didnt understand why it was happening (he took over the job three pee filled days ago.) So I watched him open the door, stand in front of the door to open the kennel and completely block the dog from going outside. I yanked him out of the way, got the dog outside and then held a brief kennel opening class until we were on the same page for how it should be done.
It was now 5:40am and I had criers, screamers, whiners, poop and pee. Devastated I stomped back upstairs to get myself ready and let whatever was bound to happen, happen. By 6am I was ready to go and sat down to a leisurely breakfast and time to check my email and facebook. At 6:20am Larry came inside from waiting in the car(I thought he was feeding the cat) wanting to know if we were ever planning to leave? Turns out he had gotten himself ready in record time. At this point Moe ambled up the stairs in his boxers mumbling about getting distracted and how he knew he was almost out of time.
At 6:30am all three were ready, wearing shoes and even had brushed teeth and hair, and by 6:40am we left for school. I'm not sure we can expect this level of awesomeness everyday but oh dear Lord I thank you for the fact that there was no yelling and very minimal poo, urine, crying and zero half dressed children or bizarre lunch choices. All that from 30 extra minutes in the morning. Don't worry, I'll keep you posted on whether we maintain the magic or if I have children falling asleep in their soup. Do you have a magic morning routine tip for me?
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