Challenge!

Im not sure people realize how often the Cosby show is in my head. As I typed that title I was replaying the tap dance episode in my head: http://youtu.be/NDkuucSWVWw you can check it out here. I replay it mentally every time I work on one of my ever growing number of challenges each day. Bill Cosby and I are basically BFF's.

I've gone challenge crazy and I am loving it. Here's how it all started.

One of sister-in-laws best friends posted a Facebook mile a day marathon challenge. It was free, I was fat, I gave it a chance. My SILBF called to check up on me, posted memes of perfect people looking sweaty telling me that I could do it and my best friends mother-in-law participated for a few days too so I was definitely feeling the love. I got my kids and dogs involved and was walking a couple miles around my neighborhood every night. I sweated, screamed at toads, dragged my kids along and put in some effort. Then the rain came, my baby caught her first illness and I gave up.

Still, It was inspirational. Here's how it continued.

I posted a random thing on Facebook about wanting to actually finish crap around my house. A friend suggested Fly Lady. Have you heard of this lady? I've had her recommended to me a lot (my housework, or lack thereof, is truly gross) and knew she had some philosophy about how cleaning your sink everyday somehow magically changed your life and cleaned your house. Coming off the success high of my mile a day challenge I was like, "Bring it!" I signed up for the gazillion emails a day program and threatened my family with their very lives if they dared to tarnish my newly cleaned and shining sink. There was some yelling, some scared looking kids, some apologizing and my sink stayed spic and span for a whole week! The countertop next to my sink did not stay so clean. I am now taking a brief hiatus from the fly lady emails and just reading through her online propaganda to find my own version of her program. It's a pretty cool theory about how a little bit everyday can bring about big change. She's also big on no guilt, no catching up, just start each day new and do what you can.

Now I was inspired and intrigued. Here was the final building block.

My oldest son has made some huge changes. His counselor is working with him on setting goals and having clear rewards and clear consequences. The results have been pretty amazing. This may seem sort of duh! to you but it was more of an aha! to me. This is when I decided to turn my life into a series of goals/challenges with clear consequences and rewards.

Now I was inspired, intrigued and energized. You're all caught up to the point I'm at today. Challenge crazed and loving it! I am continuing my own version of the fly lady challenge and I started an Operation Get Less Fat challenge on Facebook. I was hoping my sister and maybe one or two friends would help hold me accountable but it turns out I'm incredibly awesome and everyone wants to cyber hangout with me so now the challenge is 38 people strong. They are full of good ideas. Every time I like one I turn it into a challenge. Today I added a 10 push-ups a day challenge, a weirdest place you planked challenge, a drink 64oz of water a day challenge and an eat at least one fruit and vegetable everyday challenge. No one invited me to these challenges, it's just the person that I am now. Still working on a make my yard look less like a cesspool challenge and a keep my nails painted every day challenge but I'm sure I'll get there.

Some people might call this stuff normal everyday life, but for me life is a challenge. If you don't believe me now you will when you see my weirdest place I planked challenge picture. I am so going to win this!!

And now I challenge you to start a challenge today. It's fun!

Missing manual - please help

To be fair, I haven't googled this yet so the manual may exist, but I'm going to whine and moan like it doesn't.

Where is the manual for kids friendship? It's soooooooooooooo awkward!

My boys have a handful of friends that they've had since they were babies. My husband and I know the families, have been to their houses, we have mutual trust and understanding between our families, we know each other's parenting styles and we know all the kids allergies and concerns. Amazing right? 

Except our kids are all getting older and we now all go to different churches and schools and play different sports and it's harder and harder to get together. The result is kids making new friends that could be drug addicts.

Okay, it's not really the kids I'm worried about so much, it's those darn parents. Do I have to be friends with them so our kids can be friends? Is there a questionnaire that we could give prospective friends parents before our kids get invested in the friendship? I'd like to know where they work, if they go to church, if they swear, if they smoke, how much carpet they have, their views on mcdonalds, other adults that are allowed in the home, if they have a gun cabinet, if they have a liquor cabinet, how many toys their kids have, if they drink bottled water. You know the important stuff that tells you if your child will be safe in that environment. 

Turns out when you just start a conversation with these questions it can be a little off putting. 

There's FBI background checks, stalking, and gossipy nosiness to try and find out facts covertly but really, what is a parent to do? My decision thus far has been to quiz the parents on everything I can think of until they give me a weird look, say a lot of prayers, lecture my kids on stranger danger, good touch/bad touch, secrecy, drugs, alcohol, weapons and saying please and thank you in the car on the way to play dates and sometimes sending long emails explaining my own personal views on snacking, video games and wrestling. 

So far so good, but the tide could turn at any moment! It's a scary world out there and every time I think I've got a handle on things the police accuse me of child neglect, I get Unfriended on Facebook, my kids learn a dirty word or I realize I don't really like the kid that my kids are begging to play with but I already vetted the parents so now it's awkward to back out of the play date. It all just seems so difficult.

Do my kids really need friends? Maybe I should have just been more encouraging during that whole imaginary friend stage, those seem much easier to deal with. This whole growing up and gaining independence and becoming their own person thing is just ridiculous! Glad I have God as part of our plan or I don't think we'd survive at all.

Spring break!

Its spring break on the beautiful island of Maui. 

I'm sure you've all been dying to know what we're doing with our time off, right?

Chirp chirp. Crickets. Chirp chirp.

Okay, so if it was all about me we'd be staying home the entire break and cleaning, watching movies, baking and doing puzzles. I love my house and family and I can easily get wrapped up in them and forget about the world.

But , at least 3 friends have now contacted me to ask about my holiday plans. This has made me feel popular, loved, surprised and responsible for providing some spring break fun (to the 3 friends that contacted me, I mean this in a good way).

Without further ado or verbal spewage, I present to you, fun things to do during spring break*

*warning: these may only be considered fun if you are a mother of many elementary age children who likes all the same things that I do. If that's not you, figure out your own fun.

1. Hike. It's been very rainy so check the weather forecast via coconut wireless before setting out, do not trust the news. Flash floods are real and should be avoided, this should be obvious and self explanatory. Iao should be full of waterfalls and fun if you stick to the paths. If the wind dies down then the windmills hike should be great for whale watchers. I'd like to head out to the blowhole for the first time with the baby. Dragons teeth are a nice easy one. I have hopes of going to makawao forest because I've never been. You could always call it a hike to get the kids excited but in reality just do the boardwalk or explore the reserve area past makena or the walking path in kihei. So yeah, hike.

2. Swim. This whole shark attack every month phenomenon doesn't leave me super excited about the ocean and I'm in an awkward place where if one of the boys swims too far and gets in trouble I have to choose between saving them and abandoning the baby on the beach. But... There are some beaches with loads of tide pools or enclosed areas like baby beach or launiapoko that I could handle if the wind dies down. Barring that, we are amazingly lucky to have free public pools open everyday so I plan to take advantage of that at least one or two afternoons this week. I like Wailuku pool if I'm by myself and kihei pool is fun with friends.

3. Shop. I actually enjoy shopping with my children, if the conditions are right. It's crazy sale time and my kids need the next size up in clothes so we'll set a budget and head out to let them try spending money to get what they need. It's always an adventure and I pretend they're learning math and other life lessons so it's all worth it. It's also a great time to get my little ones to give up some of what they have. We're not quite at the level of get rid of one thing for every new thing we bring home, but it's a good goal.

4. Choose a direction and head that way. We have 6 fun directions on Maui. North takes you to paia where you can wander, people watch and have fun beach times. West takes you to lahaina. I love the history walks there, the banyan tree, the shopping, the yummy restaurants, the fun beaches and our islands only bookstore. South takes you to kihei, where you can beach it, park it, hit up playgrounds, people watch, enjoy the library or go to my mother in laws house. East is Hana and the best direction for exploring, getting away from it all and communing with nature. Bring bug spray. Once you've hit all major navigational directions you still have 2 options. Central, where i live, has pools, parks, shopping, lighthouses, hikes, movies and mini golf. Finally there's upcountry where you can visit farms, enjoy cool weather, marvel at views, hike, picnic, cardboard sled and find some yummy yummy restaurants. Most holidays I like to take at least one day, choose a direction and staycation the crap out of that direction, I highly recommend that you do the same.

5. Explore. If I'm not up for an entire directional day than a smaller option is to just choose a place. Once the place is chosen google it and unlock its secrets. Then take your kids there and wow them by knowing all the secrets. Bring a camera to capture the wonder, a cage to capture the wildlife and a net to catch the things you don't want to touch with your hands. I also recommend d a light picnic lunch. Exploring days are simple and wonderful.

That's all I have for you for now. It's the last weekday of spring break so it's probably too late for you locals but I wrote the blog so I'm posting anyways. Another day I'll write a post about why I love staying home so much. You're welcome.

Keeping my mouth shut

I'm in need of lip stapling surgery ASAP.

I have found more and more that my particular type of sharing has no place in our modern world.

If you've ever read this blog before then you know that I LOVE to share. I am an information hog, I can't get enough of it. I read user manuals for fun and pause the tv to make sure I didn't miss any of the side effects that scroll down the screen during prescription medication commercials for medicines I will never need or use. Once I have this information it needs an outlet. This is where the sharing happens. I assume the rest of the world can put on their big girl/boy pants and choose to take it or leave it.

This is apparently not the case.

I have lost friends because they think I'm trying to fix them or their kids. I'm fine with them and their kids, that's why we're friends. But... When they complain or share concerns I will share 15 possible solutions that I can think of off the top of my head. You know, just in case it's helpful. I'm not saying I have it all together. I google my problems for hours and even a casual glance my way generally offers such a state of dishevelment that one should assume I am only sharing information and obviously not coming from a place of judging or teaching.

I have taken on way too many tasks because in the workplace (and at home), ideas are closely guarded treasures that you only share if you are willing to take on sole responsibility for the rest of your life and name someone to take over for you in your will if you should pass away. I came back into the workplace not understanding this and mistakenly loudly shared every single thing that ever came into my head (note to self, forehead edit button needed. Directions: to be used hourly until problem clears up) My ideas were welcomed, encouraged, sought after and my to do list was longer than santas naughty/nice list. Heaven forbid I share a concern. Then I enter the gossip gauntlet where someone must be blamed to regain balance in the world and if you won't point a finger than you'll be the one going down. 

I left a situation today thinking, "oh what a tangled web we weave..." And trying my darnedest to figure out how I got into the situation. As I  walked away I then had long conversations with everyone I came into contact with because what better way to cure saying too much than to talk endlessly with anyone who dares to allow you to corner them and engage in daily niceties. It was really my bad for being honest. If I had just made empty promises the situation never would have happened.

I am slowly learning my lesson but I am a little saddened by it. Why does my idea mean I have to do it? Why can't some problems require brainstorming when pointed out instead of blame? Why doesn't everyone think I am as brilliant as I think I am?  Why do people ask me about things that I know nothing about? Why do I feel compelled to find the answers for them? How do I encourage my children to love the acquisition of knowledge without creating mini me's?

For now I think I'll look into lip stapling, because self-restraint is too simple of a solution. 

P.s. Don't mind me, I'm having an off day so writing this helped get it off my chest. I doubt I could ever stop sharing, it's innate. Take me or leave me, this is who I am.

Baby love

Hello baby.

I love the way you smile.

The fact that you smile bigger after you poop then when I walk into the room is something we'll work on.

I love the way you snuggle into the space between my shoulder and my neck.

Can't wait until the day where you do it more because you love me and less because you're scared of trees.

I love your chubby rosy cheeks.

I pray it doesn't mean that I'm making you fat and somehow participating in the childhood obesity trend. (you know us moms, we worry)

I love your sweet coos and your desire to take part in conversations.

I wish you could maybe sit a few conversations out or at least stop participating at such a high decibel, I promise we hear you even when you're very quiet.

I love the way you rub your eyes when you get tired.

It's really too bad that it makes me feel a little like a bad parent every single time because I once read that babies that rub their eyes are overtired and parents missed vital cues.

I love that I'm your favorite.

But there are days when I pray to God that you please please please learn to like someone else.

I love watching you discover new things.

I wish all those new things didn't immediately go into your mouth.

I love dressing you and admiring your insane levels of cuteness.

It makes me cringe a little when I catch sight of us in the mirror and realize that I subconsciously made us match. I never wanted to be THAT parent.

I love watching you bond with your siblings.

I keep hoping it will happen more when mommy needs a nap and less when mommy asks siblings to do chores.

I love your curiosity.

Also, it scares the hell of me. 

I love watching you sleep.

I can't wait til I start to have a clue when that will be.

I love watching you grow and change.

I hate how often I check the development guidelines to see if your "on track." I also hate being a walking cliche as I go around saying, she's growing too fast, where's my baby?" Bipolar much?

I love your baby smell.

Your diaper smell, not so much.

I love watching you with your daddy.

I secretly worry that you'll like him more than me.

I love your perfect little hands.

I don't understand how they are always dirty.

I love your blossoming personality.

I hope I'll still like you when you're a teenager.

Most of all baby, I love you.

Except that one time you screamed for 4 hours straight, then I considered adoption.

Refocusing

That's what's happening in my household in 2014.

This is the year where we begin to question our actions and take more responsibility. 

The hard questions will be asked:

Can we do without it?

Can we learn from it?

Does it taste better with peanut butter?

Could we be helping more?

Is it still good or has it turned?

Do we need shoes for that activity?

Is that action kind?

And the list goes on and on.

Seriously though, I've been off work and the kids have been out of school and the husband has even had a few days off work and we've had one of those rare opportunities to examine how we work as a family. We discovered that we've been doing a lot of skating by and barely managing and that we don't like that. We want. To be a little more proactive and less reactive.

This year we all hope to live more intentionally and to make the things we do matter. That might mean that candy crush level has to wait a few days to be conquered or that some of my endless half done projects need to be tossed rather than finished. It's a small price to pay for a happy family.

Today, on the first day of the new year I will tend to the worlds crankiness baby, magic eraser the entryway walls, tackle the Mt. doom size pile of laundry, read to my children and force my husband to play the board games that he loves to buy and never plays. That's right folks, I am in my happy place :)

Happy New Year!!

It's been 2 months

If I was in AA this would be a pretty good starting sentence.

As a writer, it's a little bit sad.

I completely blame my dad.

He came for a thrown together at the last second 3 week long visit to paint my house and my mother-in laws house. That means for 3 weeks I was busy hanging with my dad. In my life that sentence is unprecedented. My dad has worked excessively hard my entire life with very few vacations or breaks of any kind. Him being here and meeting my daughter and getting to know my boys was a very big deal.

Oh yeah, and my house now looks extremely awesome too. Well, most of it. It rained while he was trying to mad dash finish my house before he left. So despite his 13 hour work days trying to get it done I have little bits to finish. Of course this translates into probably won't be finished ever because I am allergic to finishing projects. Why isn't there medication for this affliction? The best cure currently available is putting on your big girl pants and they have yet to make a pair big enough to handle all my afflictions so I remain in the land of almost finished aka well, it seemed like a good idea....

Around the time my dad left my hybrid highlander forever car broke and became my worst nightmare. Then my husband became my worst nightmare as he went completely off the deep end about the awfulness of our situation. Don't get me wrong, I was barely hang on in the deep end and spent way too much time staring at the pits of despair but he had me beat by a mile. Don't you love it when I mix metaphors? That brings us to 2 weeks ago when I was finally able to find a new to us car to buy and off load my broken dreams onto a hapless by stander (or well informed craigslist acquaintance). I still need to go to the DMV but I've been saving that drama for another day (although according to my paperwork that day is fast approaching.) I note this momentous occasion so that you may store it away as a cautionary tale. Do not by hybrid without a very good warranty.

2 weeks ago my husbands brother and sister and their families came to visit for Thanksgiving and life became a mad dash of trips to Kihei (a whopping 15 minutes away!), biting my tongue, experiencing what life would be like with 5 kids, and generally experiencing the definition of the phrase "at the beck and call." My kids loved spending time with family and my husband with his siblings is a sight that all should behold so I'm voting it time well spent.

Now we come to today. The day after I went to a nightclub. I don't drink and yet I still feel hungover with a pounding headache. There are sights from the night that I can't unsee. I'm also pretty sure there is photographic evidence of my husband and I dancing....very badly and with no timing. I chalk it up to the things you do at holiday work parties. I also wore glittery shoes, again I chalk it up to the things you do at holiday work parties. The moral of this story is, don't invite me to holiday work parties.

And that's all folks! 

This post is in honor of my dad who always reads my blogs out loud in his kitchen and my sweet friend who sat me down at the holiday work party to remind me that I hadn't written a blog for awhile. Thanks for the support, I hereby dub you my first super fans. Now I'm back in the saddle and the drivel will spill on a more consistent basis (at least for a little while)